Oh no done something awful, now scared.

Artytarty

Well this morning I had a visit from a "friend" asking to use my computer.
Told her I now had a laptop which she had difficulty using.
We rowed when she became verbaly gressive and I asked her to leave my house.

she was very verbally nasty.
After she had gone I noticed she was still signed into her email account. Before I closed it I deleted her emails. Petty and wrong.

1Hour later she turns up on doorstep with a very weak apology which I did not choose to accept . She then shouted "you !!!!!!" at top volume and put both her hands on my breasts and pushed me hard backwards. I did not fall.
I honestly think she is unhinged but i know my action was wrong. It was an instant reaction her torrent of abuse.
Now I'm scared the police will come and ask me about the emails. i reitterate I did not hack into her account.
On the other hand , she asaulted me. which is surely worse?
opinions please.
ps she has been told not to come back here but I'm worried what will happen when she finds out what I have done.

LegalBlonde

Did you delete the emails from the "deleted" folder also? Are you still logged into her email?

If you did not delete them "twice" and still have access to the email account you could undo this.

If not, was it all her read emails i.e. would she ever know you did it? She will never be able to prove it was you anyway and I want to live in the district where the Police would come out over emails!

As for everything else I don't know what to say, just trying to give some practical advice on undoing the problem.

Artytarty

Thank you, no I didnt delete them twice just the once and then I closed her account.
I clicked tick all and delete.
I dont know nor would I use her password to get tehm back.
The thing is, she will only probably be checking them again in a few days or maybe more from a library as she does not have access at home.
I so wish i hadnt done it but I was shocked by the amount of venom she unleashed!
I suppose if Im honest I know I very much had the moral high ground up till that point.
She has M.H isues and I'm slightly scared of her now. I have never in my life been pushed like that on my own doorstep by a normally shy timid person who just flipped.Both hands hard on my chest.
She is socially awkward at the best of times but today she way overstepped themark
I just wish I hadnt sunk ( well not quite!) to her level.

LegalBlonde

Well at the end of the day although like I say I can't imagine the Police getting too involved, they should still be in her deleted folder so what harm is done. Plus she might not ever even know it was you if she checks her email in random places or isn't that au fait with computers etc.

As you seem to already know, you are best off staying away and not letting her in if she comes back.

shebangs

..........

whitewing

Apart from DH and DS, I would never let anyone use my laptop. It feels far too intrusive.

You know you shouldn't have deleted her emails. Best to forget about it for now. Maybe just distance from her for now until things are a bit calmer. If she texts, emails or leaves an answerphone message, you can always post here again for some more viewpoints of how to respond. It's very unlikely that she'd go to the police. Again, you can post here if she does and you need more help. Worry when it happens and not before. And think a bit before take action - it'll help!

Janey3

As you said, she had difficulty in using your laptop, she will most likely think that she herself has deleted the mails. I wouldn't worry about it one bit, she can restore them from her deleted box. The Police won't be interested in this. I would think your "friend" should be more concerned whether you report her to the police for assaulting you. I can understand you being a bit scared of her and unless a full blown apology is forthcoming from her, I wouldn't have her as a friend. Hope it all turns out ok for you.

Artytarty

thanks, it was a knee jerk reaction of which I am now ashamed.
I have known and been friendly with her ( partly out of sympathy) for nearly 35 years! what an awful day. I am so stupid but there you go!
She suddenly brought up every perceived slight from the last ten years and told me how selfish and self centered I was.She lives with her elderly mother a nd my OH will go round at the drop of a hat to sort things out for them.
Apparently I have not taken them out for lunch as I was supposed to, I have used rude words and I am a very silly girl. All this was shouted in my face .
Then when i declined to let her in to do it again she pushed me with great force.
I think she could be in more trouble than me if she isnt careful.
ps to look at her you wouldnt think she could say boo to a goose!

the_cat

Well she can't prove that you deleted her emails. She signed into her account and left it open on your laptop no foul there. It would I think be viewed in very much the same way as giving your PIN number to someone and then complaining that they took your money. She hasn't a leg to stand on and the police would laugh her out of the station if she tried to take it further imo.

As to the friendship side of things, if it is very much out of character I might think that maybe she is under some sort of stress etc and just snapped. Of course she may just always be like this when she doesn't get her own way. Over a period of 35 years you will already have enough experience to know which it is!!

Artytarty

Its not the first time I have seen this side of her nature but its a first for the violence.
I know she suffers from depression at the very least she is on some long term medication but I've had enough of it. Noone can come into another persons home and shout at them out of the blue like that and expect there to be no repercussions., I think I have always tried to be understanding and accommodating but she does not see it that way.
I hope she does not loose her temper with mother like that.She only lives a few houses away from me just to makes matters even more complicated!

whitewing

When my depression is getting worse, it gets harder to make good decisions. I am in no way excusing your friend from shoving you - that is unacceptable, and is still a choice she made. She is likely to feel quite ashamed about her behaviour imo. It would probably help her (and her mum) if you give her some space but remain friendly when you do see her, which may make it easier for her to apologise and also get some more support. Perhaps her meds need adjusting? Again, I am not saying let her off her bad behaviour, just trying to help you see that the way you handle it can make a difference to how much worse the situation gets.