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My Dad 'tricked' me into giving him £5,000 & now can't afford to pay me it back
Comments
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They are both my Mum's best friends, I haven't told them I gave him the money as I was 18 I didn't have to tell them.
To be honest I haven't told many people about the whole thing, just because I'm embarrassed by it. It sounds daft but I don't want people to think any less of him!
Despite everything he's done, you still show him more consideration than he ever showed you.
And people have been berating the OP for not caring enough about her dead and valuing a "paltry" £5000 above their relationship?
They ought to be ashamed of themselves.0 -
londonTiger wrote: »British family values = nonexistent. .
quite right dude
i mean, what kind pf parent takes money off their own kids for the sake of debts?
what kind of parent leaves their kid for the best part of 10 years, comes back, and then takes money off them?
What kind of parent puts the materialistic values of their new partner over their own flesh and blood?
Family values, in the gutter0 -
londonTiger wrote: »Forget it man. You're being completely unreasonable asking for the £5K. You were lucky enough to get that money from your mums estate. (Assuming your dad didn't get anything).
It's not worth getting into family disputes over money. Espeically when you're better off financially than your dad.
Pffffft....go back to which ever planet you're from...0 -
Easy to say when you're not to one who is £5000 down!
Please, some of you post me your debit cards and pin numbers, if you would be so happy to be stolen from!
Ive actually been there myself.
My brother borrwed 5k from me (incidently) to pay for his downpayment.
He recently got married and had all sorts of wedding debt and mortage to boot.
Property crisis set in and interest rates soared.
He couldn't pay me back.
He promised he would, but I wrote it off in my mind. He was my brother after all.
Long story short, long after I wrote the debt off in my mind, he got himself into a better position financially, and came through in the end.
I guess if you have a dysfunctional family in the end it's a different story.
If you have a dysfunctional family, that's sad. Maybe take them to a small claims court to get your money back.
I'm sure it would be great for the integrity of family life. /sarcasm0 -
londonTiger wrote: »Ive actually been there myself.
My brother borrwed 5k from me (incidently) to pay for his downpayment.
He recently got married and had all sorts of wedding debt and mortage to boot.
Property crisis set in and interest rates soared.
He couldn't pay me back.
He promised he would, but I wrote it off in my mind. He was my brother after all.
Long story short, long after I wrote the debt off in my mind, he got himself into a better position financially, and came through in the end.
You, as an adult, knowlingly lending your sibling £5000 is a completely different scenario to a grieving 18 year old's father offering to invest the money she inherited from her mum for her, and actually spending it block-paving his driveway.
Are you actually so stupid that you can't appreciate the difference??0 -
Apology accepted.
I'm sorry,
whose sympathies lie with a man who stole from his grieving daughter to get his drive repaved!
My sympathies don't lie with him, my sympathies lie with the fact that this family could be torn apart over £5K. Whatever the correct version is, the OP is highly unlikely to get her money back, so why pursue it and damage the delicate situation any further.
Her hour of need was a wedding dress. I did not point out she was undeserving so please don't invent things and in particular don't put it in quote marks.She turned to her dad in her hour of need, and he took advantage and stole her inheritence from her, and all you can do is point out that she was "undeserving" of her inheritence anyway and suggest that she forget about it? I'm really interested to hear exactly what you think her dad did to that rendered him more "deserving" of the money, and justified him stealing it from her..?
I don't think he deserved the money at all, it wasn't his as we all know. I just don't think it's worth banishing the father to hell for a wedding dress. We're all different, and I think the best thing to do would be to forget about the £5K, but maybe write a letter to the father stating the money is still owed but under the circumstances would hope he would begin to repay it at some point. (Even though this would be pretty much pointless given the level of debt he is already in).
There you go again, silly person, making ludicruous uncomparable statements and ridiculous assumptions - you really ought to stop it.You're the kind of moron that would encourage Elizabeth Fritzl to "be the bigger" person and forgive her dad, right after you found him not guilty (because after all, you only have one dad). I suppose Charmaine and Heather West should've been waiting open-armed for daddy at the pearly gates too eh?0 -
Yes it is inexcusable if that is what he actually told you he did with your £5K. BUT if you want a relationship with your father, and you are coming across as if you do, then is it worth severing ties with him over this? That is what you have to decide.The facts are he took £5,000 off me to put in an ISA and used the money to block pave his driveway...it's inexcusable to matter what the circumstances.
You mention you have shares to pass onto your children in your footer, would you take £5,000 of this money off your 18 year old son/daugther telling them you're investing it for them and then spend it on something for yourself. Would you?
No I wouldn't take the money off them, it's been promised and saved for (and they remind me about it quite often!!
). 0 -
I can't believe this...and they actually thought they would receive replies advising them on how to get to their 6 year olds inheritance money?
Expect to see that poor child on here in 12 years time then!
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/14357750 -
LovelyLeeds wrote: »Apology accepted.
Droll.:cool:LovelyLeeds wrote: »My sympathies don't lie with him, my sympathies lie with the fact that this family could be torn apart over £5K. Whatever the correct version is, the OP is highly unlikely to get her money back, so why pursue it and damage the delicate situation any further.
And whose fault would that be? Certainly not the OP's. And yet the only person you've showed any sympathy towards is her father, who is solely responsible for this situation and has shown no remorse since the OP discovered his deceit.LovelyLeeds wrote: »Her hour of need was a wedding dress.
I was referring to an 18 year old girl who just lost her mum and sought advice from her dad regarding investing her inheritence. You trying to somehow villainise the OP and trivialise the matter by making out like she's simply thrown a tantrum over a wedding dress is really unkind and I don't know why you're doing it?LovelyLeeds wrote: »I did not point out she was undeserving so please don't invent things and in particular don't put it in quote marks.
Yes you did:LovelyLeeds wrote: »Thing is, if you'd saved the money and given the money to your dad to invest I would have every sympathy for you, but this money was gifted to you from your mother's estate, so you didn't earn it.LovelyLeeds wrote: »I just don't think it's worth banishing the father to hell for a wedding dress.
Again, the OP has never said that her main grievance is a wedding dress - I'm not sure why you're trying to make out like it is? Are you her stepmother?
Her main issue is that her father stole £5000 from her. Personally I think it's quite understandable that she's upset about that, though you're obviously of the opinion that she's overreacting.LovelyLeeds wrote: »No I wouldn't take the money off them, it's been promised and saved for (and they remind me about it quite often!!).
If you discovered that one of your kids had fraudulently accessed the accounts and spent his own money and that of his siblings on something unnecessary, wouldn't you be angry?0 -
londonTiger wrote: »Ive actually been there myself.
My brother borrwed 5k from me (incidently) to pay for his downpayment.
He recently got married and had all sorts of wedding debt and mortage to boot.
Property crisis set in and interest rates soared.
He couldn't pay me back.
He promised he would, but I wrote it off in my mind. He was my brother after all.
Long story short, long after I wrote the debt off in my mind, he got himself into a better position financially, and came through in the end.
I guess if you have a dysfunctional family in the end it's a different story.
If you have a dysfunctional family, that's sad. Maybe take them to a small claims court to get your money back.
I'm sure it would be great for the integrity of family life. /sarcasm
If you're gonna conpare it with a personal experience, at least try and compare it with something similar. You're situation wasn't even close. Think polar opposites. #FAIL0
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