Teenagers - try & steer them or just let them go?

jane130

My DD ( now 21 ) at the age of 16 and three weeks into her college course came home and told me she was quitting !!! I let her as she was very unhappy and spent 3 weeks in total panic wondering wth she was going to do now but after that 3rd week she got her backside in gear - all her friends were at college or work and she was fed up with being broke and bored and got herself a trainee dental nurse job - now she is fully qualified . so it all worked out for the best in the end.

That said my son was looking for an apprenticeship last year spent months and hundereds of letters looking and just couldn't find one so ended up at college , he's now looking for another one to enable him to qualify as an electrician, without it he's wasted his last year and again he is struggling - I'd let her leave college but tell her she needs to find the apprenticeship or a job with training before she leaves college .

Mojisola

And if she does leave college, there will be no lying around at home. You can give her a list of housework jobs that have to be done to a standard you're happy with in lieu of rent.

angelil

Say 'ok, see you', and let her jog on. Give her NOTHING (at least while she is being such a pill).
Either she'll be back home within days/weeks with a much humbler attitude once she sees how hard it is, or she'll carve a proper life for herself and be a better and more mature person as a result. It's win-win

Dunroamin

Mojisola wrote: »

And if she does leave college, there will be no lying around at home. You can give her a list of housework jobs that have to be done to a standard you're happy with in lieu of rent.

Except that she'll shortly be able to sign on and the OP should make sure that her daughter knows that most of her JSA will needed to be handed over for her keep rather than being kept for personal spending.

Mojisola

Dunroamin wrote: »

Except that she'll shortly be able to sign on and the OP should make sure that her daughter knows that most of her JSA will needed to be handed over for her keep rather than being kept for personal spending.

I would still expect a share of the housework to done even if she does start paying keep. All the people who live in the house have to do their bit.

Dunroamin

Mojisola wrote: »

I would still expect a share of the housework to done even if she does start paying keep. All the people who live in the house have to do their bit.

Absolutely - just not instead of real dosh!

FatVonD

I told my mum when I was 15 that I planned to move out as soon as I was 16. She said they'd give me a trial run of pretending my room was a bedsit with a budget for buying my own food and coming out to cook myself stuff in the kitchen, that kind of did it for me as I couldn't cook! I did leave home at 18 though but I'd been working for 2 years then and that was into a shared house. How on earth does a 16-year-old get given a HA flat?? (Sorry, can't remember who posted that!)

jackyann

16 year olds wouldn't normally get a HA flat. If they are completely estranged from family, concern about abuse etc. they would normally go into local authority care.
What I have occasionally known is a situation where a 16 year old is estranged from parents, has a relative willing to offer care, but hasn't got a suitable home.Then a HA may be approached by Social Services for a home for the new "family".
Not relevant to OP I think, but was mentioned.

With regard to OP & other posts, thing is that some 16-18 year olds are more sensible than their parents and some aren't!

Ames

I think you're referring to sock knitters sons who got HA flats. They have disabilities and were moving into supported housing.

mustmakealist

My son was part way through his first year of 6th form and I could see that he wasn't enjoying it at all. We took the time to look at what else might be available and he chose a btec course at a local college. As he already had his GCSE results they said 'yes' to him straight away. He stuck out the remainder of the year at college and did scrape through a couple of his AS levels. He loves his new course and knows that he prefers it to school. I think I might have the other problem and that he'll never leave home.

Would your daughter be interested in another course? or is it the thought of the 'freedom' that an apprenticeship would bring that she hankers after?