Teenagers - try & steer them or just let them go?

olibrofiz

mrscarolb - she gets the CB but I don't expect payment towards her keep as her dad pays maintenance. She does zilch in the house, despite my best efforts (threats, cajoling, pleading, shouting) to get her to do so. I have thrown many knickers away that she had left lying around and the dog has chomped to bits.

The dog will miss her ....

olibrofiz

balletshoes - she didn't know what she wanted to do. She said she didn't want to go to work (& refused to look for a job over the summer before she started college) but liked the subject and it was a good a course as any.

She has since decided she wants to go into child care. That's fine, but she doesn't want to do it at college, and I worry that jobs are hard to find.

poet123

meritaten wrote: »

Oli - It could be she has just had enough of education! and further education can feel like school - when she feels she is an adult now.
She probably thought that at college she would be treated as an adult - instead she finds it just like school! especially is she is on a acedemic course. she may be happier transferring to 'skills' course.
my suggestion is that you sit her down and LISTEN to why she doesnt like college - then suggest that a change of course may be better - Arm yourself with the names/descriptions of the skills courses the college offers. discuss them with her and let her know that you would be agreeable (if you are) to her transferring to one. (funnily enough people do drop out of courses too - so often there ARE places available.) I know one young woman who was desperately unhappy on her science course - but blossomed when she transferred to the nail technology course!
of course it would be a pity that she couldnt afford her own place if she did this - but perhaps there are ways you could alleviate this? make her room more of a bedsitting room? allow her a kettle/microwave?

That is good advice, not all students settle on their first choice course, you would be surprised why some of them choose courses!! It is probably a bit too late to change now though we are a third through the syllabus and catching up with assignment work in any new course would be hard.

If she can possibly stick it out that would be the best thing, but only she knows if that would be acceptable to her. I have seen lads in tears over their courses, and when it gets to that point it is simply not worth the upset. Sometimes though it is really simple to sort out the problem. Most colleges have a Student Liasion Officer attached to each faculty, their job is to sort issues out and be a listening ear. Could you contact the college and ask to speak to them?

Ich_2

as you have to do assignments and stuff and it's too hard

And an apprenticeship isn't!!

Sn did one which included 1 college day per week & assingments & exams on a one strike and out basis!

Apprentices at work are often to be seen studying either for college or internal reasons

balletshoes

olibrofiz wrote: »

balletshoes - she didn't know what she wanted to do. She said she didn't want to go to work (& refused to look for a job over the summer before she started college) but liked the subject and it was a good a course as any.

She has since decided she wants to go into child care. That's fine, but she doesn't want to do it at college, and I worry that jobs are hard to find.

so has she started researching how to get into childcare at her age, and still be able to pay the bills? is that something she might accept your help with, finding out how realistic it is that she could get into that avenue of work soon?

meritaten

olibrofiz wrote: »

balletshoes - she didn't know what she wanted to do. She said she didn't want to go to work (& refused to look for a job over the summer before she started college) but liked the subject and it was a good a course as any.

She has since decided she wants to go into child care. That's fine, but she doesn't want to do it at college, and I worry that jobs are hard to find.

Into childcare? where? if she thinks nurseries take on unqualified staff she is in for a shock! My DD worked her socks off for two years at college to get her NNEB and it was a LOT of acedemic work - and even then the nursery job she got was minimum wage and NO prospect of earning more!
Private nanny? lmao - its cheaper for them to employ er, 'overseas' nannies.
I think your DD needs a reality check! let her ring around to sort a job out - she will soon find out that people are either demanding qualifications - or she wont like the wages! or both!

olibrofiz

poet123 wrote: »

Most colleges have a Student Liasion Officer attached to each faculty, their job is to sort issues out and be a listening ear. Could you contact the college and ask to speak to them?

Thank you, will think about that. I've fought a few battles on her behalf through school and thought that once at college I could take a step back. Will rouse myself for a last ditch attempt with student services. Then, apart from a chat with her dad, I'll be just about done I think.

Off for a few glasses of red

olibrofiz

Ich, balletshoes & meritaten - *sigh* I know, I know, I despair

balletshoes

go get that bottle of red - i'm just a few years behind you .

sweetpeas_2

Oh how I remember being 17

I really shouldn't comment.. I moved out with my bf of 3 months when I was 17 (and pregnant) so I'm really in no position to make any sort of judgement on her plans. But the difference was, my now DH was working full time and I found a part time cleaning job and we managed financially 'ok'.

But I was working full time before I moved and had a little bit of savings in the bank so I was ok to leave the job and move (200 miles away) while I looked for something else down there.

So I know I might be shot down in flames but if your DD is half as head strong as I was, she'll want to do it more if you try and stop her. And by the sounds of it, it's a huge financial no no anyway so it's unlikely to even 'take off' to start with.

Sorry I've nothing to say about the college side, I didn't do college I was independant and wanted a job straight away and to earn my own money, and to be fair it has paid off and I now earn more then most of my old school friends that have spent half their adult lives studying

Good luck x