So poor I can't even pay attention

NewLeaf_2

what this thread can do to a bunch of helpless bananas

Piquant_2

NewLeaf wrote: »

dont forget to check

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B001F5STWU/..._6LMKpb1H098XQ

:rotfl::rotfl:I don't know how I've managed to manually slice my bananas for so long! Very funny! How on earth did you find it? Were you having difficulty slicing your bananas?:D

gallygirl

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

How do people find these???????

OK, 50 Sheds update:

'I'm so horny,' she moaned as I finally finished her naked portrait. 'Sorry,' I said, 'I'm used to painting cattle.'

grannyx2

Q: What do you call a promiscious pony? A: A Little Whorse

Q: How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and ride out on Friday? A: His horse's name was Friday!

Q: What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse? A: A tale of WHOA!

Q: When do vampires like horse racing? A: When it's neck and neck.

Q: What did the waiter say to the horse? A: I can't take your order. That's not my stable.

Granny x

How is Bear today? x

Piquant_2

That's better the diary is back on track and funny again! Thank you ladies!

Gally are you sure it's not you writing the 50 sheds chronicles?

Horse jokes from granny and banana slicers from newleaf, my life is complete!

I made £154 on my eb*y items :T even after £20 of postage and, just for a change, I got the postage right and didn't make a loss :T Even better I have another seven yet to list. I'm waiting for a free listings weekend.

I have the long weekend off from Pr*t, not sure how that happened, but I'm going to enjoy it. I spent another hour in the garden clearing brambles, unfortunately, there's still a lot to go The garden is far more overgrown than I had first thought. All this work for love of a cat....:o

Piquant_2

grannyx2 wrote: »

How is Bear today? x

He's very unsettled and unhappy, I'm hoping he settles soon. He's always right behind me and I have nearly trodden on him several times. Hopefully, his tablets will help him. I'm sure he's got early dementia now. If the tablets help him, I can make sure he has a quiet and ordered life, but for now he's bashing into things and standing in his food bowl a lot, with a lot of pacing thrown in for good measure.

grannyx2

Piquant wrote: »

He's very unsettled and unhappy, I'm hoping he settles soon. He's always right behind me and I have nearly trodden on him several times. Hopefully, his tablets will help him. I'm sure he's got early dementia now. If the tablets help him, I can make sure he has a quiet and ordered life, but for now he's bashing into things and standing in his food bowl a lot, with a lot of pacing thrown in for good measure.

Aw bless, I hope he settles down soon. x

Piquant_2

grannyx2 wrote: »

Aw bless, I hope he settles down soon. x

In my heart, I don't think he will get better, but I don't want to go there yet. I think he'll settle and enjoy a simple life for a while and that's all I can hope for.

Piquant_2

I thought the banks were cutting back on credit, not so. T3sc* cc have written to me advising me that as I am such a valued customer they are upping my limit by £2k. I haven't used it in 18 months! It still has a large balance on it, but I'm concentrating on clearing down the Nit Waste one as it has the higher interest rate. I paid across £5 to it today as I had the day off and that covers the petrol and parking I didn't have to pay out on.

Good news on the weight front, another 4lbs has hit the deck bringing my total loss to 11lbs in four weeks :j

Cleared more brambles and pruned [hacked back] shrubs to continue with the Bear's safety zone. I also picked loads of lavender and have it hanging to dry. Whilst I was at it I picked and froze oregano, chives, thyme and sage, giving me fresh herbs later in the year. I'm not sure if you can freeze rosemary or even if you need to really, it's always there with the bay tree.

Then I took the Captain out for a charge round the field with his friend Roger. As always, the Captain insisted on leading, racing whenever possible, teaching Roger to be as naughty as he is...

Now for something extra. I'm going to keep an extra diary at the bottom of some of my entries for the Bear. I need to track how he is and make sure I'm not closing my eyes to something I don't want to see. I'm sure you know what I mean. By all means read his diary if a cat's daily life interests you!

My Diary - by the Bear

I still have the hump about going to the vet. I absolutely hate being driven by mum, marvellous woman, dreadful driver! I was so annoyed this time I refused to sing to her and just made a few pathetic mews to make her feel bad.

Today I've eased off the guilt trip a little. I'm still pacing round the house but not so frantically. To show her I still love her, I've sneaked up behind her lots and just stood there, whereupon she's trodden on me! Don't listen to her when she says she loves me! Even so, I follow her wherever she goes, even to the toilet, that's devotion for you!

Because I'm a nice bloke I've helped her clear the garden, this involved me having to stand in the trug full of weeds and brambles. They really stick to your coat. Then I walked the new paths she'd created through the shrubs until I found a sunny spot and had a long snooze.

Embarrassingly I got stuck between the coffee table and wall, not sure why I felt the need to squeeze through the gap, but it took a while before she noticed me and moved the table so I could get out. I'm sure she was grateful to me for showing her that she hadn't dusted the skirting board in a very long time.

I keep standing in my food bowl, no reason that I can think of even though I'm finding it hard to find in the first place, think I need glasses. I'm not going to eat unless mum stands next to me, even if it is 6 o'clock in the morning. She's put me out a litter tray, I'm ignoring it, not impressed when she shoved me in it, to show me it was there. Not impressed at all.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Oh bless the bear, what an eloquent chap! I subscribe to his diary, poor old guy. Still has his sense of humour though .

Well done on the weight loss