So poor I can't even pay attention

grannyx2

please-let-me-be-lucky wrote: »

Hi Piq well done on the deadline and hope the application went well this morning!

Oh and at Granny's request, I'm here with some dodgy bananas for you!!



Xx

Piquant_2

A bit of background on the Captain; he’s a proper born and bred gypsy horse, he is brave and opinionated. In the school he is an angel and can do dressage, jump and still loves to play gymkhana games. On the ground he will stand like a rock around small children, never making a move that might hurt them, he carries a disabled boy round with a gentleness that brings a lump to my throat.

However, the moment he leaves the gate to go on a hack he can becomes a nappy, sometimes obstinate horse. He is not afraid of things that worry other horses, he will happily march past balloons, dogs, huge farm machinery, rifle ranges and paper bags. He is nosy, and forever looking in people’s gardens [and eating the plants if he gets the chance, he likes to look into cars and snort at dogs. Just sometimes he decides he doesn’t want to go out and will turn and head for home, if the rider [me] argues the point he is capable of running backwards at a speed that can be alarming, will do bunny hop rears, coming at least three inches off the ground and reverse stubbornly into a ditch until he gets his own way or not, as the case may be. He is not a horse for beginners to take out on a hack.

Yesterday as it was hot, I thought it would be nice if we went for a gentle wander out the back and enjoy the scenery. Shame the Captain decided fifteen minutes in, that it wasn’t for him. Just opposite his friend dog man’s house he threw one of his tantrums and reversed into the ditch. It just happened that dog man was out in his garden with his nephew a lovely Downs Syndrome lad who has ‘ridden’ the Captain in the school a couple of times. Hearing me swearing in a ladylike way they came to see what was going on. The Captain paused in his tantrum to see if dog man had his mints on him, seeing he didn’t, he continued with his tantrum, bunny hopping in the ditch.

‘Aunty Piq, why haven’t you got your stick to smack the Captain’s bottom?’ asks the lad. ‘I forgot it’ says I

‘I’ll help’ says he and with that reached into the hedgerow and pulled out half a dead tree and proceeded to wave it in the general direction of the Captain’s bottom! I promise I’m not exaggerating; there was at least ten foot of dead branch complete with twiggy ends!

‘Come on Captain, stop being naughty and come out the ditch’ shouts the lad helpfully.

The Captain launched himself out of the ditch with a jump that would have done a Grand National runner proud and shot down the road in the fastest trot I have ever tried to sit to. Suddenly the need to go home had vanished and the Captain was happy to proceed on his hack as fast as you like.

To tell the truth, I’m not sure which of the two of us was going to cr*p our pants first at the sight of half a tree heading our way with a smiling lad on the end of it!

Piquant_2

please-let-me-be-lucky wrote: »

Hi Piq well done on the deadline and hope the application went well this morning!

Oh and at Granny's request, I'm here with some dodgy bananas for you!!



Xx

Granny is very naughty PLML and she is leading you astray, like she does the rest of us with wine and chocolate. Just what are those bananas doing? :eek::eek:

chevalier

Was so glad I hadn't started my coffee when I read your last post.

THANKYOU. I am SO tired this morning, but the picture your words painted of the 10ft 'stick' and the effect it had on Captain has made me laugh out loud and finally woken me up.

right off on the school run
Have a great evening.
chev

grannyx2

Piquant wrote: »

Granny is very naughty PLML and she is leading you astray, like she does the rest of us with wine and chocolate. Just what are those bananas doing? :eek::eek:

as I said above and if you think they are bad you should see the ones that didn't make their way over here



As for the Captain, the tree and the boy story, oh dear I laughed so much I had a coughing fit and OH looked at me very strangely

missrlr

Blimey strong young man isnt he! Well the Captain had his come uppance with a tree ahem wonders will never cease did you manage any meandering after this?

Baldybear

Ha Ha oh dear, can I borrow that man, boy and tree, make my bloomin horse walk! Fine everyday to take to the field and last 2 days decides to not walk, just wants to stand on yard, I think until everyone else goes out, grrr, so trying every trick, unfortunately being so young doesnt know how to lead that well, trying food tomorrow, annoying at 7 in the morning!

gallygirl

Piquant wrote: »

To tell the truth, I’m not sure which of the two of us was going to cr*p our pants first at the sight of half a tree heading our way with a smiling lad on the end of it!

Hmmmm, it's a very long time since a young lad headed my way, smiling and waving a big stick........:o

NewLeaf_2

Bless that is hilarious.

Piquant_2

gallygirl wrote: »

Hmmmm, it's a very long time since a young lad headed my way, smiling and waving a big stick........:o

Oh God, me too :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: