Any brides changing their name going to miss their Maiden name?

daisiegg

Dan: wrote: »

I don't think that is true, not in the Western world anyway.

I just wonder why that these days families are happy to all have different surnames.

I kind of agree with you. My fiance was never married to his daughter's mum, but his daughter still has his last name, so his daughter's mum has a different last name to her daughter. I find that really strange and if it was me, I would hate that! If I'd had a child when I wasn't married I think I'd definitely make sure that it was given my last name so at least I'd know I would have the same last name as my child if I ended up a single parent. If I was my fiance's ex now I'd also be feeling a bit weird that some other woman (me) was going to marry my child's father and have the same last name as my child, when I don't even have the same last name as my child!

Wow that got confusing...

And to answer the OP, I can't wait to take my fiance's name. My last name is nothing special, it is traditionally Scottish which is nice I suppose as it's my heritage, but I don't mind changing it. I'm really excited about being 'Mrs', and I love the fact that we'll have the same last name so we'll be more of a unit

**sorry I think I need to clarify, I don't find other people who are happy to have different last names in a family strange - I just meant, if I had a different last name to my child, I would feel strange. I pass no judgement on what other people choose to do!

Dan:_4

White_Sapphire wrote: »

Really? Do you not wonder where the tradition of the bride's father 'giving away' the bride to her new husband came from?

Why does it bother you whether or not a family all have the same name, and whether or not they're happy with that? How is it your business?

Im just saying what's the point in getting married if you don't share the husbands name?

Is it a 'girl power' thing? or just don't want to appear as married?

daisiegg

Dan: wrote: »

Im just saying what's the point in getting married if you don't share the husbands name?

Is it a 'girl power' thing? or just don't want to appear as married?

Are you talking specifically about HER taking HIS name, or just about them having the same name? Would it be acceptable to you if they both changed their name to a double-barrelled version, or if he changed to her name?

Lovelyjoolz

Dan: wrote: »

Im just saying what's the point in getting married if you don't share the husbands name?

Is it a 'girl power' thing? or just don't want to appear as married?

Oh dear, are you being deliberately provocative or are you just a troll?

Clearly you think a surname is the most important part of a marriage. Forget love or wanting to show a level of committment, no, these are of insignificant importance next to which name you choose to go by. Surely you see the ridiculousness of your statement?

I fail to see why marriage should result in a change of name. It seems to be a predominantly British thing. It is very rare for names to be changed in Scandanavia, France, Germany, Spain and other parts of Europe, and many families hae several surnames all in the one household.

With divorces/remarriages/step-children/adopted children, this is becoming very common in the UK too. And I really don't see why anyone would think it is of any importance.

Dan:_4

daisiegg wrote: »

Are you talking specifically about HER taking HIS name, or just about them having the same name? Would it be acceptable to you if they both changed their name to a double-barrelled version, or if he changed to her name?

Personally, I would expect HER to take on HIS name. I for one would not marry someone if this was not to be the case.

It is a bit of an insult for the man to have to take on HER name, even to double-barrell them is not ideal. So, if the wife insists on keeping her name then what name will the kids have? Maybe have two kids and give them different surnames. I can see all sorts of problems at the school parents evening!

Dan:_4

Lovelyjoolz wrote: »

Oh dear, are you being deliberately provocative or are you just a troll?

Clearly you think a surname is the most important part of a marriage. Forget love or wanting to show a level of committment, no, these are of insignificant importance next to which name you choose to go by. Surely you see the ridiculousness of your statement?

No I am not a troll, abeit I do not usually post in this area of MSE and only poped in here as me and my other half are planning a wedding in August.

Of course the surname is an important part of the marrage, love and committment is part of all that.

Dan:_4

I guess I am just old fashioned! I am a nice guy tho I'll be back later to finish this debate.

White_Sapphire

You keep using this word 'insult'. I do not think it means what you think it means...

Seriously, if you get this wound up at the thought of people making life choices that you happen not to agree with then I'm sorry for you. But, given that you have no power to dictate to anyone what their name should be, how about you just let us get on with making our own choices?

daisiegg

Dan: wrote: »

Personally, I would expect HER to take on HIS name. I for one would not marry someone if this was not to be the case.

It is a bit of an insult for the man to have to take on HER name, even to double-barrell them is not ideal. So, if the wife insists on keeping her name then what name will the kids have? Maybe have two kids and give them different surnames. I can see all sorts of problems at the school parents evening!

Erm, what sort of problems? you inform the school on registration of who is called what and the school remembers that. I've done parents' evenings where both parents are present PLUS both parents' new partners, and there are four different last names involved. It's really not a problem.

WHY is it an insult for the man to take on the woman's name? I'm not sure if you're joking or not. My OH talks very much like you but he's quite light-hearted about it...I do think he'd still marry me if I didn't want to take his name (but I do, so it's not an issue with us). Would you honestly not marry your fiancee if she wanted to keep her own name?

mildred1978

Dan: wrote: »

Personally, I would expect HER to take on HIS name. I for one would not marry someone if this was not to be the case.

It is a bit of an insult for the man to have to take on HER name, even to double-barrell them is not ideal. So, if the wife insists on keeping her name then what name will the kids have? Maybe have two kids and give them different surnames. I can see all sorts of problems at the school parents evening!

Are you naturally this narrow minded or did you have to go to night school?!

My son has both names - my husband's name is his surname and my surname is his 2nd middle name. It has caused no issues whatsoever with doctors, bank accounts, activities, travel or anything else. Perhaps that is because the world at large is more broad minded than you.

I built a life in a name different to my husband's. Nobody has the right to suggest that I should change my name for any reason whatsoever, least of all because I chose to legalise a relationship I was having with a man.

What makes your name so f-ing special?