Any brides changing their name going to miss their Maiden name?

Torry_Quine

Dan: wrote: »

Where to start! I seem to have annoyed a few people, but society in general will agree with every word I have said, infact I do not know any women that has kept her surname after marrage - and all the unmarried parents I know have given the dad's name to the kids.

I am not old - 32 - and will be married this August. Luckly my wife to-be agrees with me and a conversation about the surname never even came about.

For those that have asked if I would not marry my fiancee if she wanted to keep her own name, the answer is yes - what would be the point? We had might as well stay as we are!

For generations the lady has inherited the mans family name - why has this suddenly changed???

And I am not TELLING people what to do - just airing my views on a public forum.

I changed my name on marriage and it wasn't an issue for me. However it's ridiculous to think that the name you have after marriage is the most important thing!

Personally I think it strange not to have everyone in a family with the same name but it doesn't matter whose name that is. I must admit when a woman I know marries I do automatically call them Mrs (his surname) although if they told me otherwise I would use what they want.

Dan:_4

mildred1978 wrote: »

I don't actually. I have an excellent accountant.

Are you sure you avoid NI?

mildred1978 wrote: »

As for your arguments about the rest of the world, yes. But you didn't spot earlier posts that pointed our that in other parts of the world women are not expected (or indeed entitled) to take their husband's name.

I did read them.

Dan:_4

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I changed my name on marriage and it wasn't an issue for me. However it's ridiculous to think that the name you have after marriage is the most important thing!

Personally I think it strange not to have everyone in a family with the same name but it doesn't matter whose name that is. I must admit when a woman I know marries I do automatically call them Mrs (his surname) although if they told me otherwise I would use what they want.

Yes I would use what they want also.

daisiegg

Dan: wrote: »

All of the above is true, so why wouldn't you want to share surnames?

Well I personally am planning on taking my fiance's name, as I have previously mentioned, but I understand why some people wouldn't!

Others have given perfectly good reasons - they may have built a reputation/brand in their profession under their name, they may have an unusual name that they feel contributes a lot to their identity, they may be the 'last in line' and upset to think that their family name will die out...etc... the point is, who are we to judge? And furthermore, if your fiancee had any of those reasons not to change her name, I can;t understand that if you loved her enough to marry her, you'd then change your mind if she decided she wanted to keep her name.

White_Sapphire

Dan: wrote: »

I do not know any women that has kept her surname after marrage

And I am not TELLING people what to do - just airing my views on a public forum.

Presumably you don't move in the kinds of social circles where women are permitted by their husbands to do so. I personally know as many women who keep their maiden name in some capacity, whether that be in entirety, or for professional purposes (this may shock and 'insult' you; women can be professionals, even after marrying...), or double-barrelling, as have taken on their husband's name.

You may not be TELLING, sorry, telling people what to do, but you telling us that we are insulting our husbands and fiances if we don't take their name is sodding rude. If you really expect us to just accept your medieval views without challenging you on them (again, I'm presuming that being challenged by women is a new and 'insulting' experience for you given the kinds of people with whom you must associate) then you may need help of some kind.

mildred1978

Dan: wrote: »

:rotfl:My wife wants be my wife, and that means sharing my surname as will our children.

Lucky girl, isn't she? To have found someone who meets her incredibly low standards.

daisiegg

Also Dan - you didn't answer my question asking why, if the 'point' of marriage to you is for her to take your name, you don't just get her to change her name by deed poll and save some money? Or are you acknowledging that there ARE more important 'points' of marriage than just the name...?

mildred1978

Dan: wrote: »

Are you sure you avoid NI?




.

I paid it for 18 years as an employee. Now as a company director I don't.

Dan:_4

White_Sapphire wrote: »

You may not be TELLING, sorry, telling people what to do, but you telling us that we are insulting our husbands and fiances if we don't take their name is sodding rude. If you really expect us to just accept your medieval views without challenging you on them (again, I'm presuming that being challenged by women is a new and 'insulting' experience for you given the kinds of people with whom you must associate) then you may need help of some kind.

Err, I am saying that I would be insulted if my fiance refused my name - you husband is obviously okay with it.

Dan:_4

mildred1978 wrote: »

Lucky girl, isn't she? To have found someone who meets her incredibly low standards.

At least she will be around to raise our children rather then down the career path using a differnt name to the rest of the family.