Any brides changing their name going to miss their Maiden name?

Lovelyjoolz

Dan: wrote: »

No I am not a troll,

Just a bigot then?

Dan: wrote: »

Personally, I would expect HER to take on HIS name. I for one would not marry someone if this was not to be the case.

Then you are either ignorant, a fool, or just an old fool. If you are of retirement age and older then I shall forgive you, at a push. But a younger man has no business posting such bigotted remarks. That is a ridiculously old-fashioned attitude and not a valid reason to be basing a life changing decision on.

Dan: wrote: »

Of course the surname is an important part of the marrage, love and committment is part of all that.

Rubbish. A surname has no bearing on feelings of love or committment. If it were, then you should be happy to take on your wife's surname as a demonstration of your love and committment to her.

I can't see how you can describe yourself as "a nice guy" when you write such inflammatory and bigotted remarks on here.

Em88

Dan: wrote: »

Personally, I would expect HER to take on HIS name. I for one would not marry someone if this was not to be the case.

You are saying that if you found the woman you wanted to marry but she said she wanted to keep her surname you wouldn't marry her?? :eek: I fail to see how that would change your mind from her being the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

What do you think of women who choose to keep their maiden name as they have established their professional reputation on it? Or is that irrelevant as they should be at home in the kitchen!

mildred1978

Em88 wrote: »

What do you think of women who choose to keep their maiden name as they have established their professional reputation on it? Or is that irrelevant as they should be at home in the kitchen!

Presumably barefoot and pregnant and grateful for a little bit of housekeeping each week.

I thought misogynist beliefs like this had died out in the last Ice Age.

Dan:_4

Where to start! I seem to have annoyed a few people, but society in general will agree with every word I have said, infact I do not know any women that has kept her surname after marrage - and all the unmarried parents I know have given the dad's name to the kids.

I am not old - 32 - and will be married this August. Luckly my wife to-be agrees with me and a conversation about the surname never even came about.

For those that have asked if I would not marry my fiancee if she wanted to keep her own name, the answer is yes - what would be the point? We had might as well stay as we are!

For generations the lady has inherited the mans family name - why has this suddenly changed???

And I am not TELLING people what to do - just airing my views on a public forum.

mildred1978

Dan: wrote: »

Where to start! I seem to have annoyed a few people, but society in general will agree with every word I have said, infact I do not know any women that has kept her surname after marrage - and all the unmarried parents I know have given the dad's name to the kids.

I am not old - 32 - and will be married this August. Luckly my wife to-be agrees with me and a conversation about the surname never even came about.

For those that have asked if I would not marry my fiancee if she wanted to keep her own name, the answer is yes - what would be the point? We had might as well stay as we are!

For generations the lady has inherited the mans family name - why has this suddenly changed???

And I am not TELLING people what to do - just airing my views on a public forum.

For generations there was no free healthcare in this country.

For generations we thought it okay to use black people as slaves.

For generations children worked rather than attend school.

For generations criminals were hanged.

Things change because society develops. The tradition of the bride changing names came from a time when women were 'owned' by men. That is no longer the case. Hence the change of expectation within enlightened sections of society.

Do you wander around with your (teensy weensy) c.0ck and balls hanging out to assert your male dominance? No? Then why should your wife?

mildred1978

You've been known as "Dan" for 32 years, right. How would you feel, if on opening the wedding cards given by your guests every one had referred to you as "Yvonne". Is it okay to assume that should happen? Would you feel annoyed or uncomfortable? What about if that was a requirement to getting married?

Dan:_4

mildred1978 wrote: »

For generations there was no free healthcare in this country.

There still is no free healthcare in this country (or don't you pay National Insurance?)

mildred1978 wrote: »

For generations we thought it okay to use black people as slaves.

This still goes on in parts of the world

mildred1978 wrote: »

For generations children worked rather than attend school.

This still goes on in parts of the world

mildred1978 wrote: »

For generations criminals were hanged.

Most countries still execute criminals for certian crimes.

mildred1978 wrote: »

Things change because society develops. The tradition of the bride changing names came from a time when women were 'owned' by men. That is no longer the case. Hence the change of expectation within enlightened sections of society.

My grandad did not own my nan, nor did his grandad before, and nor did his grandad before him....

mildred1978 wrote: »

Do you wander around with your (teensy weensy) c.0ck and balls hanging out to assert your male dominance? No? Then why should your wife?

:rotfl:My wife wants be my wife, and that means sharing my surname as will our children.

daisiegg

Dan: wrote: »

For those that have asked if I would not marry my fiancee if she wanted to keep her own name, the answer is yes - what would be the point? We had might as well stay as we are!

.

Surely the 'point' would be that you are each other's legal next of kin? That you have stood up in front of family and friends and confirmed your lasting commitment to each other? That you have actually MADE a permanent (hopefully) commitment to each other? That you get to have a special celebration of your love with all your family and friends? That for the rest of your lives (hopefully) you will each be wearing a ring on your finger that symbolises to the rest of the world that you are in a committed relationship? That you can refer to each other as 'husband' and 'wife' rather than the dreaded 'partner'? If you are religious - that your children will be 'legitimate'?

I could go on....surely all or any of the above are perfectly good 'points' of getting married?! Your attitude is weird - if all you cared about was your fiancee taking your name, what would be the point of getting married? She could just change her name by deed poll, and that would be it sorted? Would be cheaper...

mildred1978

Dan: wrote: »

There still is no free healthcare in this country (or don't you pay National Insurance?)




.

I don't actually. I have an excellent accountant.

As for your arguments about the rest of the world, yes. But you didn't spot earlier posts that pointed our that in other parts of the world women are not expected (or indeed entitled) to take their husband's name.

Dan:_4

daisiegg wrote: »

Surely the 'point' would be that you are each other's legal next of kin? That you have stood up in front of family and friends and confirmed your lasting commitment to each other? That you have actually MADE a permanent (hopefully) commitment to each other? That you get to have a special celebration of your love with all your family and friends? That for the rest of your lives (hopefully) you will each be wearing a ring on your finger that symbolises to the rest of the world that you are in a committed relationship? That you can refer to each other as 'husband' and 'wife' rather than the dreaded 'partner'? If you are religious - that your children will be 'legitimate'?

I could go on....surely all or any of the above are perfectly good 'points' of getting married?! Your attitude is weird - if all you cared about was your fiancee taking your name, what would be the point of getting married? She could just change her name by deed poll, and that would be it sorted? Would be cheaper...

All of the above is true, so why wouldn't you want to share surnames?