Our DMP Adventure or We Don't Have a Clue!

PinotGrigio41

Evening Br,

Dont want to you to think you have been abandoned. I have just very quickly read your posts over the last few days, and I did read your other thread the other day where you posted your SOA. I'm sorry I havent posted, had a mad few weeks as you may know.

I am so sorry you are feeling so low again. I am hoping that the new SOA agreed with the CCCS may make things a little easier for you. I am concerned that you have been struggling so much with the money still, I know the car issues really havent helped. Mine sat in the garage unpaid last year for two months as we couldnt afford the bill, so I can understand your worries.

I can see you are obviously lying awake at night with this worry, I know that from the word go the lack of emergency fund or any back up has been a massive worry to you. Do you feel happier with the new CCCS budget ? I apologise I havent had time to compare the before and afters.

Dont apologise about your diary, its there for you to pour out your worries and your feelings and we are all hear to listen .

I do undertand that you want to be more light hearted and cheerful for Mr BR, but it is still early days and things still havent quite fallen into place for you both. They will, but in the meantime remember that you have done a sterling job so far, even if it doesnt feel like it.

I will catch up tomorrow and see how you are doing, sending you big hugs in the meantime

BlushingRose

Thanks hon xx

I'm hoping that the new budget will make things easier - if only the fact that we've got a more realistic amount of our current petrol usage. But, time will tell - we don't go out, we don;t have extravagant foods or anything so I'm at a bit of a loss.

I was sorry to hear that you've been having a horrid time recently *hug*
Thanks for popping in xx

BlushingRose

Well, tonight we did a quick check on the account as we're in the last week of our pay month (roll on the 24th) and I wanted to see how the account looked.
Answer? £10 short on what I had on paper. Hmmm....cue lots of thought, mutters and worries about where this £10 might have gone. Then it came to Mr BR in a flash - he'd taken me out for a birthday meal on money that he'd got from an extra bit of work, but we'd had to 'steal' £10 from the account to do it (it had all been a surprise to me) and that's where the missing money was.
I couldn't believe how happy I'd felt that we'd 'found' this missing £10.

This is now what our lives have become....I think it's a good thing. Is it a good thing? lol

PinotGrigio41

Its absolutely a good thing !! Its amazing how little things like this make us happy these days, there will be many more believe me !!:rotfl:

Oh and don't worry about me having a horrid time, I am fine , but thank you !

We "stole" some money today from our emergency fund to take the girls out today. Sometimes it needs to be done to keep us jollied along. I really hope you enjoyed your surprise birthday meal !

BlushingRose

PinotGrigio41 wrote: »

We "stole" some money today from our emergency fund to take the girls out today. Sometimes it needs to be done to keep us jollied along. I really hope you enjoyed your surprise birthday meal !

I certainly did - Chinese, my fave!

miggy

Hi, I saw your post over on one of Mr B's threads and managed to find your diary and a couple of other threads about your SOA... I don't know if I've got them all but I've read everything I could find!

I can see this is a very difficult time especially as your new budget is settling in and funds haven't built up in the various 'pots'. As time goes on that should be less of an issue though of course we all get nasty surprises from time to time. It did occur to me though that once you find work that distant DF day will jump a lot closer.

You mentioned you were concerned about one of your cats... any news there? Hoping things are okay. I know the PDSA has already been mentioned so you may be able to get help with vet's fees.

I also noted these possible panic attacks you've had, and how your sleep is affected. Having been through a hugely stressful time myself 18 months ago, I do feel for you. I went and cried at my doctor who was very helpful . In my case she suggested CBT which I was only able to use a bit but what I could do was helpful. Turns out the library has a collection of books which are recommended for self help with anxiety, so if ever you think this might be of use please pm me and I'll send you details. I know this isn't for everyone though.

I've just realised how late it is and I really ought to get some sleep but I'll come back to see how things are... take care, and I hope you can sleep better tonight.

PinotGrigio41

Morning BR, just checking in to see who you are today.

Miggy has some great suggestions there re your anxiety, Mr Pinot bought me some herbal tablets from boots, "Quiet Life" I think they are called. I take them about 2 hours before I go to bed and they've helped me really a lot. I sleep a little better ( not great but better than before) and also the weird dreams have calmed down. I also take them during the day as well if Im feeling particularly anxious.

I'm not sure though if you would be able to mix them with anything else you may have already been given by the docs. In fact I doubt that you could , but if you aren't taking any other medication they may be worth a try. I have read on here of others who also swear by relaxation tapes to help them.

I hope you have a better day today .

Pinot x

downnotout

Morning just ready your diary, that dfd will come down. The one thing that causes the most rows in our relationship is the grocery shop. We do look back at it later and laugh about how we argue about coke or crisps as a treat I have been a single dad for years and quite used to going without, whereas MrsDNO has only been like this for the last 12 months or so, before that she wanted for nothing in the security that the bank of mum and dad was open 24/7. I guess it affects her more but we are both determined to get through this, and whilst we are arguing over coke or crisps we are not arguing over anything else ;D good luck with the debt busting, the one thing you have to hold on to in times of hardship is that at least your in the right place on here and among people that are living it too, next time your walking down the street or doing a monthly shop, just have a look around at those that have yet to have their LBM

BlushingRose

miggy wrote: »

Hi, I saw your post over on one of Mr B's threads and managed to find your diary and a couple of other threads about your SOA... I don't know if I've got them all but I've read everything I could find!

Excellent stuff, I love stalkers xx :rotfl:

miggy wrote: »

I can see this is a very difficult time especially as your new budget is settling in and funds haven't built up in the various 'pots'. As time goes on that should be less of an issue though of course we all get nasty surprises from time to time. It did occur to me though that once you find work that distant DF day will jump a lot closer.

I'm hoping that now the budget's changed for us that we'll feel more relaxed about taking money out to put into the 'pots' which will gradually give some piece of mind about spending when it's needed. And yes, you're right, if I can get some work that will help a lot. Unfortunately, billions of people tend to apply for everything

miggy wrote: »

You mentioned you were concerned about one of your cats... any news there? Hoping things are okay. I know the PDSA has already been mentioned so you may be able to get help with vet's fees.

No news I'm afraid as we don't have enough money to take her to the vet until Friday. She seems happy in herself though, doesn't seem to be bothering her at all. However, payday is vet day! (we haven't told her yet!!)

miggy wrote: »

I also noted these possible panic attacks you've had, and how your sleep is affected. Having been through a hugely stressful time myself 18 months ago, I do feel for you. I went and cried at my doctor who was very helpful . In my case she suggested CBT which I was only able to use a bit but what I could do was helpful. Turns out the library has a collection of books which are recommended for self help with anxiety, so if ever you think this might be of use please pm me and I'll send you details. I know this isn't for everyone though.

Thanks chuck. I am on a waiting list for therapy although this was when it was all just kicking off, so hopefully that might happen soon.

miggy wrote: »

I've just realised how late it is and I really ought to get some sleep but I'll come back to see how things are... take care, and I hope you can sleep better tonight.

Thanks hon x

BlushingRose

downnotout wrote: »

Morning just ready your diary, that dfd will come down. The one thing that causes the most rows in our relationship is the grocery shop. We do look back at it later and laugh about how we argue about coke or crisps as a treat I have been a single dad for years and quite used to going without, whereas MrsDNO has only been like this for the last 12 months or so, before that she wanted for nothing in the security that the bank of mum and dad was open 24/7. I guess it affects her more but we are both determined to get through this, and whilst we are arguing over coke or crisps we are not arguing over anything else ;D good luck with the debt busting, the one thing you have to hold on to in times of hardship is that at least your in the right place on here and among people that are living it too, next time your walking down the street or doing a monthly shop, just have a look around at those that have yet to have their LBM

Yay, another stalker!!! xx :rotfl:

Yeah, money is a pain in the neck, I've decided. It causes more trouble than it's worth, literally.
I know (cos he's told me) that I sometimes get on Mr Br's nerves when I say 'can you do this' or 'will you look out that' or 'we need to check the account' etc etc. Today he said that I'd become the household accountant. I managed not to reort that 'some has to be' :rotfl:
The bank of Mum & Dad is open for me, actually, but we're trying very hard not to taken them up on offers of help. This is partly cos they have no idea how deep we are (and they cannot help us that much!), I don;t want to worry them, but plus they're pensioners and although they have a bit on money knocking about, I want it to be for *them* They're both in their 70s. Saying all that, though, they do know that we're very poor, newly without credit cards and have said that if we need a lump sum for something, then to ask them and they'll try to help.