Our DMP Adventure or We Don't Have a Clue!

BlushingRose

Well, I thought it was about time I started a diary, somewhere to offload thoughts, panics and bewilderments and hopefully get some advice and encouragement on the way, so here goes..

We started our DMP in Jan this year (2012). Technically, as we're not married and all the debts are in Mr BR's name, it's Mr BR's DMP but we live together and it's ours in actuality.
We have no children living with us, although there is a young adult at uni but he's financially independent of us (just as well really!). We also have two mental cats. We also have a very old (well, 12 years) car which atm is costing us waaay too much money.
I can be prone to negativity and so I can't promise that this diary will be upbeat and/or inspiring, but you never know!

We had out LBM in December 2011 although we'd had 'almost LBMs' a couple of times before, took out more debt to cover ourselves and then got lulled into a false sense of security. Eventually the credit options ran out and we had to face facts. We now owed just over £48,000. How the hell did that happen? Well it WASN'T on holidays, designer handbags or anything exciting, worse luck. Some of it was simply bad decisions, followed by worse ones and some of it was general living expenses. Towards the end, the last few years, we'd been mostly living off credit cards as the payments to the loan and indeed the card meant we had no actual money to live on, buy food/petrol...and so something had to give.
December, as I'm sure you're aware is not the best time of year to have one's LBM as it can be an unusual month for expenditure and we struggled...but got through.
Our DMP officially started in January with CCCS who take payments on the 10th of the month. So far, so good, the creditors seem to be reasonably happy and the only real struggle is worrying about whether we have enough money to live on over the course of the month. Still learning how the hell to budget and make it all work.
Unfortunately, this last few weeks have been expensive, car-wise, which means that the CCCS are now not taking anything at all for Feb. We will be making token payments and hoping that the creditors don't kick off too much as everything should be back to normal in March.

I'm also on a diet while all this is going on, so far it's been going well, started in September and have so far lost over 2 stones, so something's going right at least.

PinotGrigio41

Found you !

No time to read at the moment but will drop back in later and I will subscribe ! Well Done, I really do think this will help you, there are so many lovely people on these threads x

BlushingRose

Thanks hon x

LittleHippyHop

Well done on starting a diary I too am really struggling to budget on my new DMP and things seem to keep cropping up which makes it so much harder.

Good luck on your DMP journey! (Subscribes)

BlushingRose

Thanks HippyHop x

BlushingRose

Well how depressing - thought I'd have a look at Martin's budget thingy and see how much my mobile phone might be worth if I was to sell it. Well, it turns out that it's so old now that it's not even on the list of phones to get a price for!

PinotGrigio41

Did you take look at a few different mobile phone buying sites ? I found earlier in the year when I was looking to sell one of our old phones, some companies would and others wouldn't offer us anything . If all else fails would you get anything for it on ebay if anyone is wanting the parts ? Just a thought.

I have had a chance to read your initial post now, don't worry if you sometimes post negative things, we all do at times, but thats what your diary is for. You can rant and moan away to your hearts content if it helps. I have moaned about all sorts on my diary and I'm sure theres plenty more moaning to be had in the coming years !

I sometimes wonder how the hell we got into the mess we did, and say the same as you, if I had a wardrobe full of designer shoes and bags then I could partially understand it, but I don't. I have decided there is absolutely no point wasting my time one the what ifs and buts and anything else for that matter, I just need to deal with the here and now and get this sorted. You will get there BR, by hook or by crook

BlushingRose

Well, today Mr BR and had a row. It was over money. What set it off? Discussing what to buy in the way of groceries...
I'm already fed up with having to be so strict with ourselves...although I try to have a 'menu' for the month, and this month we did a massive shop for everything straight after pay day with the idea of 'topping up' through-out the month, and I think it's working, however due to various things, we've not kept to the menu list and so now, half way through our month, we seem to only have tins of stuff in but nothing substantial. We were going to buy some roasts too but just never did and so that's 8 meals planned for that just have never happened. Mr BR said that he'd assumed I'd go out and get them except he's the one with the money...urgh - MEN!
I wouldn't mind, but if I'm honest, I feel a bit that this is his fault all this, I'm really struggling to be happy at the moment, I feel like everything's bringing me down and that although he says that he wants me to be happy, nothing changes.
I don't actually know what to do for the best - we won't be debt free for at least 8 years and yet two months in I'm feeling like this? I worry for the future of our relationship sometimes.

PinotGrigio41

Money or lack of it causes so much stress all round. Believe me we have had so many rows over it and whose fault it is , why it happened etc etc . I think once we committed to the dmp, had a plan and focused things have really settled and we are both so much happier. It's still such early days for you both and you've had a few hiccups in your first month or so. I am confident things will settle own for you.

Sending big hugs your way xxx

BlushingRose

Thanks hon, I hope it'll settle soon.

As you say, it IS early days, we're still learning about how the budget might work, what's the best way to keep track of everything and all that sort of thing.

I do feel like I'm doing all the DMP related work though. It's me who rings CCCS to ask them stuff, or to request that they don;t take so much (now nothing) this month so that we can pay for car repairs. It's me who asks Mr BR to look online at statements to see if they tally up with the CCCS estimate that we got recently (he still hasn't). It's me who has to ask him to dig out paperwork so that I can think about reclaiming PPI on his biggest CC. Granted, he writes the letters to creditors when needed, but who tells him what to say?? *sigh*

ani*fan

Hi there BlushingRose and welcome to diary land! :wave:

Isn't it overwhelming to start with? Trying to cope with the light bulb moment and full in-your-face realisation of the mess, whilst at the same time trying to make positive changes? There's loads to learn but you'll not find a friendler more supportive place than here do it. You have SO come to the right place.

I'm off to subscribe and look forward to keeping up with your progress.

Best of luck.

AFx