Our DMP Adventure or We Don't Have a Clue!

BlushingRose

miggy wrote: »

Crikey, Rose - that sounds a bit creepy! I suppose it depends on context to some extent but I can understand you aren't happy.

I'm not sure which point he was trying to make, but I think it was the fact that I'd registered in 2008 when there were debts of about £23,000 and then started this diary and they'd gone up by about 20,000. Course, what he failed to realise was that we'd not had our LBM in 2008 and had, instead, taken out a consolidation loan that after we'd done it, realised that we couldn't pay it off without using CCs to live off, which is what we did for the nest few years until last year.
Stupid, but there you have it.
He was also saying that because I referred to the debts as being Mr BR's I was, therefore, not taking responsibility. *rolls eyes*

miggy

Shame he couldn't be bothered to check his facts properly before posting. I think that's a huge down-side to a forum like this, especially as threads get longer: people jump in without reading properly.

As far as I can see, you're not only taking responsibility, you're taking it where it doesn't actually fall to you, and out of dedication to Mr BR.

Hopefully those who know you will understand the real picture.

BlushingRose

miggy wrote: »

Shame he couldn't be bothered to check his facts properly before posting. I think that's a huge down-side to a forum like this, especially as threads get longer: people jump in without reading properly.

As far as I can see, you're not only taking responsibility, you're taking it where it doesn't actually fall to you, and out of dedication to Mr BR.

Hopefully those who know you will understand the real picture.

Thanks honey.
If you want to read the thread concerned, it's here https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4215959

mum2one

Sorry about the other poster, I guess for what ever reason they throught they were being smart, but the thing is in the long run it makes them look stupid, and those that know you from your thread know you and the roller coaster you've had, no ones here is judging you!

You take care xxxxx

PinotGrigio41

Morning Hun,

This is just quick, I will reply properly to you later hopefully if I can.

I did read the other thread via the link you sent. As Ive said before we do put ourselves out there for a certain amount of slating if people wish to do so. Totally disagree with all comments from the other poster, obviously , and re iterate what others have said. We all know your whole story, the rollercoaster, health issues everything and are more than supportive. You musnt let this worry or upset you anymore. Its really not worth the time and effort.

The majority arent judging you, just supporting you in the fact that you have taken on and are making a huge effort to resolve this situation in the best way possible. It wont be easy, we all know that, but we will all get there, that includes you and Mr BR. It wont be 28 years, circumstances will change. Ban the 28 years from your mind and concentrate on the here and now , making the payments you can, living life as best as you can and concentrating on your relationship. Thats whats important, a roof over your heads and having someone you love and who loves you back. End of.

The other stuff ? "Its only money after all !!" :rotfl:

Hmmm that was meant to be quick, Im going now before I ramble more x

BlushingRose

Thanks Pint!

There was a poster on that thread who pointed out that the mortgage should finish before the 28 years (that I'm not thinking about!) was up and so we could put the money towards the debts instead.
I asked Mr BR how long the current (cos the house is re-mortgaged) mortgage is on for and he thinks about 14 years. One of the scary aspects about the length of time is our ages (Mr BR is 10 years older than me) and you think to yourself, wow, I'm going to be 70 when this DMP stops, if nothing changes.
Anyway, me mentioning the mortgage thing seems to make him feel a bit better but then he worries about the length of time more than I do, I worry about lack of money on a week-by-week basis!

PinotGrigio41

If its any consolation which I doubt, our mortgage has 20 years to run ish and as you know I daren't look at our Debt Free Date but it is approx 28 years. I will be 70 also and Mr Pinot 75.

Scary scary though, but it wont always be like this. Things will change.

I am clawing together any odd pennies, money from things I sell and building up a pot in order to offer a full and final settlement way before the end of the DMP. They may not accept my offers but it gives me something to focus on. Take a look at the Full and Final Thread on here, it might give you a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel and something to try and work towards.

I realise of course you have no or little spare money, but even an odd few pounds stashed away if you save a bit on your food bill for example can eventually add up.

It will all come out in the wash in the end, but it will be a bumpy ride along the way !

BlushingRose

Thanks again chuck,

MY plan, which I've mentioned to MR BR and he seemed ok with it, but these things change lol is to think about the wedding in July of his son first, and so all spare (haha) money will go towards getting there for now.
After that, any spare money will be targeted towards the smaller debts like his old OD which is 'only' £1,700 ish as of this month, that will then relase more money for everything else.

Plus my CBT therapist as suggested that she refer me on to psychotherapy (waiting list 4 months-ish) after my CBT finishes, and she wants to send me to an organisation which helps you to find work if you have anxiety/depression, so it's possible I could end up with a job at some point, which would help in so many ways.

mum2one

BlushingRose wrote: »

Thanks again chuck,

MY plan, which I've mentioned to MR BR and he seemed ok with it, but these things change lol is to think about the wedding in July of his son first, and so all spare (haha) money will go towards getting there for now.
After that, any spare money will be targeted towards the smaller debts like his old OD which is 'only' £1,700 ish as of this month, that will then relase more money for everything else.

Plus my CBT therapist as suggested that she refer me on to psychotherapy (waiting list 4 months-ish) after my CBT finishes, and she wants to send me to an organisation which helps you to find work if you have anxiety/depression, so it's possible I could end up with a job at some point, which would help in so many ways.

That sounds really positive with CBT therapist, your really coming on leaps and bounds. Its a good outlook to look forward to.

Your get there with Mr BR sons wedding, - your so determined and your a fighter, xx

BlushingRose

I don't feel like a fighter..