Whats the best way to ask for money on a wedding invitation?

RainbowDrops

Raksha wrote: »

I think there's a difference between outright asking for cash and saying if we are lucky enough that you are thinking of getting us a present, we are fortunate enough to have just about everything we need, but we could really use a little help with getting together the deposit for a house/honeymoon.

IMO it the same thing

lazer

RainbowDrops wrote: »

IMO it the same thing

Yeah, I think its the same too.

If you do intend to ask for cash, do not put it in the invite, wait until someone asks what to get you, then politely say

We just want you as a guest at our wedding, we don't mind about the gifts, and would appreciate whatever you get us, we don't mind if you just give a token cash present either!

74jax

dorsetlady67 wrote: »

She was going to pop a card in along with the wedding invite but the problem there is that we know that alot of our family members will start looking around for a wedding gift as soon as they get a save the date card, so rather than them waste money on gifts that are not needed we thought it might be better to just do a double sided card so they have been asked in plenty of time, & I think it would be worse sending in with the actual wedding invite??No??

:rotfl:

Are you serious?

A request for money with a STD?

Speechless.

EDIT I have just hunted out your post and wording:

So may we please respectfully request a monetary gift that we may put in the bank towards that day.

I can not believe you would put that on a STD

Idiophreak

burnoutbabe wrote: »

asking for cash is just strange. if you can't afford a honeymoon, don't have one or have a cheaper one.

So you'd really rather see someone go without a honeymoon just so you can buy them that nautical themed butter dish you've had your eye on??

(darnit, I know I said I was leaving...:o)

rosie-lee

This is meant to be in reply to the poster mentioning money requests with Save The Date cards but i didn't add in the quote sorry


I think it depends on how well you know your guests.

For instance, my immediate family all know very well that I would decline that invite upon receipt. Judging by the amount of requests I get, alongside invitations, which often come with the added suggestion of a 'specially discounted' rate of £120 for a bed for the night!!!, my friends obviously don't.

When I get a wedding invitation now, I tend to tott up the total amount it's going to cost me, travel, accomodation, overpriced drinks and the gift. When a monetary request is made that's probably going to add on the £50 I would give against the price of a very thoughtfully, chosen gift for the couple, often bought heavily discounted so far better value!!

Often I will choose to give money but I like to have the choice, in fact, I just don't like being told. Although, I do quite like a gift list, there's usually something I like to buy or it gives me a good indication of the couple's taste. If you think the family will start looking for gifts upon receipt of a STD card, you may get some fabulous surprises, rather than the mundane rubbish you think you may receive.

It's obvious from replies on here, that this issue will always be debated nowadays. There will always be opposing views and just as with, the menu of the day, you will not please all people, so you might as well, just do as you feel comfortable.

Perhaps put the note in with some invites/STD and leave them out for those you think might be a bit sensitive?

My own view would be that, if you do choose to mention the expectation of a gift upon attendance at the wedding, it would be more pleasant to receive it with the lovely invite, rather than with a save the date card.

MrsDrink

I don't have a problem with asking for money per say. What I have a problem with is asking for anything on an invite/save the date. In my opinion it's presumptuous no matter how much you say it's not. It's like like when people say "I'm not racist but..." (well you know what I mean). I think you should wait for a guest to ask you what you want/for a gift list before you inform them actually you'd rather have money.

We are determined to not have ANY gifts at our wedding. But now we're going through it I appreciate that it's not quite that easy and not everyone actually respects our wishes :mad: so we have agreed that if they really must give us something they can make a small contribution to some dive gear that we weren't planning on buying for years. (I certainly don't to want to feel like I'm being reimbursed for the wedding/honeymoon).

burnoutbabe

Idiophreak wrote: »

So you'd really rather see someone go without a honeymoon just so you can buy them that nautical themed butter dish you've had your eye on??

(darnit, I know I said I was leaving...:o)

go without? well then have a cheaper wedding if you want a more expensive honeymoon than you can afford. Its not like the couple is so broke that they can only afford 1 night in a nice hotel, these honeymoons are usually 2 weeks in the maldives type ones (if asked to pay towards it).

I usually give store vouchers if i know where their gift list is. Or so they can buy something for their house from debenhams. £50 towards their elec bill doesn't really appeal to me.

JBD

Well, a honeymoon isn't essential, is it? I wouldn't think a couple were being deprived if they couldn't afford one.
Having said that I personally prefer giving money as I hate shopping and choosing and wrapping up gifts. I don't even care what they do with the money. I suppose it all comes down to personal opinion in the end.

SandraScarlett

loracan1 wrote: »

I have to ask; has it had many replacement heads or handles?

No, it is still intact! When I was engaged, I used to buy things for my "bottom drawer" and I'd buy 2 plates one week, 2 cereal bowls another etc, and I still have loads of my Pyrex June Rose collection!

It really is a great shame if people cannot accept that some guests prefer to buy a gift than give cash. It may be something you have or hate, but if you are that concerned, then perhaps it would be better for you not to ask the guest?

xx

Raksha

Personally, i'd rather be told the happy couple could put money to good use, than be sent a ;gift list' where nothing is under £50