Whats the best way to ask for money on a wedding invitation?

74jax

We also say it is not a free bar, so keep your money for that.

indiepanda

I have to admit whilst I don't want people to feel as if they have to pay to get their ticket to the wedding, I'd wouldn't be wanting to ask for donations to charity either and I would consider it rude to give away money people had given to me as a present. Come to that a bit silly given my monstrous mortgage (it's affordable, but big and if I don't overpay I'll have it till I am past 60).

A couple of friends of mine got married last summer and they are due to emigrate to New Zealand next year so they said they can't afford to ship lots of things to NZ when they go so a little something towards their new life down under would be appreciated. That made it seem very reasonable, don't think I will go quite as far as emigrating to get round the issue though!

74jax

indiepanda wrote: »

I have to admit whilst I don't want people to feel as if they have to pay to get their ticket to the wedding, I'd wouldn't be wanting to ask for donations to charity either and I would consider it rude to give away money people had given to me as a present. Come to that a bit silly given my monstrous mortgage (it's affordable, but big and if I don't overpay I'll have it till I am past 60).

I do understand what you are saying but when we have said we do not want a gift, we do not want money, why not give us a recipe etc and people still want to give money, at this point I do feel it is giving money for the sake of it.

Neither property is mortgaged so I could not over pay on it. I would feel very strange taking the money to pay my mortgage??

indiepanda

74jax wrote: »

I do understand what you are saying but when we have we don not want a gift, we do not want money, why not give us a recipe etc and people still want to give money, at this point I do feel it is giving money for the sake of it.

Neither property is mortgaged so I could not over pay on it. I would feel very strange taking the money to pay my mortgage??

Oh yes, I get what you mean. It does seem with weddings that some guests want to impose on the hosts their view of what they think they "should" want, not respect their hosts view or think of something really personal for them - like your recipe idea.

The nicest present I ever got was a housewarming gift a friend got me of a picture frame with the photo mount having the words "friends" cut into it so that was what the pictures sat in, and she'd filled it with photos she'd printed from facebook. I'd have something personal like that over cash or a Denby sauce boat any day of the week.

I doubt I'd actually use money given as a gift to pay the mortgage - it would most likely go towards the honeymoon. But unless we decide to go on a more extravagant one if we get gifts of money that's something I would be paying for anyway and so it would mean I was less likely to have to dip further into savings or would have a bit of spare income to put against the house.

jules888

Last wedding i went to,my husbands cousin,we were just asked to the evening wedding do as seems to happen nowadays,havent been to an actual wedding service for years.We were asked for 20 pounds towards a painting they wanted.What i dont like is being told what amount to give.We got married in 1991.We lived together already but still thought of a gift list of things we would like and wouldnt have thought of asking for money.

SandraScarlett

Having followed this thread, with interest, I'll return to the original question:

What's the best way to ask for money on a wedding invitation?

and the answer is - there isn't! As I posted before, you have all ages of people attending a wedding, some can afford more than others, some have to turn the most incredible somersaults just to get to the wedding, and they all have different opinions and views.

If you really are determined to avoid getting gifts, other than monetary ones, and you can't spare the time to field telephone calls, then you've just got to bite the bullet and ask for it. Perhaps something like:

We have sheets, we have towels, we have rakes, spades and trowels
We have cutlery, saucepans and dishes

We've a washing machine, so our garments are clean
But we do have a small list of wishes

Though we have a TV, it's quite ancient, you see
So we're hoping to get one that's new

There's no obligation, but a modest donation
Will help for our dream to come true!

xx

74jax

SandraScarlett wrote: »

If you really are determined to avoid getting gifts, other than monetary ones, and you can't spare the time to field telephone calls, then you've just got to bite the bullet and ask for it. Perhaps something like:

We have sheets, we have towels, we have rakes, spades and trowels
We have cutlery, saucepans and dishes

We've a washing machine, so our garments are clean
But we do have a small list of wishes

Though we have a TV, it's quite ancient, you see
So we're hoping to get one that's new

There's no obligation, but a modest donation
Will help for our dream to come true!

xx

See to me that is a shocking. If you want money, ask for it (as someone else mentioned a few posts back) but do not put in a silly lame copied off google poem. At least be polite and just ask for it.

'if you want, money to buy a tv would be lovely' not an 8 line 'poem'.

SandraScarlett

74jax wrote: »

See to me that is a shocking. If you want money, ask for it (as someone else mentioned a few posts back) but do not put in a silly lame copied off google poem. At least be polite and just ask for it.

Oh dear, I'm sorry you think my poem is silly and lame and googled - it's my own work.:o I'm also sorry you think it is shocking. :eek:

(Slinks off back behind the armchair....)

xx

74jax

SandraScarlett wrote: »

Oh dear, I'm sorry you think my poem is silly and lame and googled - it's my own work.:o I'm also sorry you think it is shocking. :eek:

(Slinks off back behind the armchair....)

xx

But thats the thing, who cares. It is what you like and want to do. If you want to send a poem, you do that. I wouldn't. But its your wedding.

Like you said, there is no 'good' way of doing it.

Because we disagree please do not slink off, its a boring world where we all agree. I do stand by what I said, you do with your views, and that what this forum is about. Everyones differing views.

So pop yourself back on the sofa, because everyone on here loves other peoples ideas, even if we do not agree.

SandraScarlett

74jax wrote: »

But thats the thing, who cares. It is what you like and want to do. If you want to send a poem, you do that. I wouldn't. But its your wedding.

Like you said, there is no 'good' way of doing it.

Because we disagree please do not slink off, its a boring world where we all agree. I do stand by what I said, you do with your views, and that what this forum is about. Everyones differing views.

So pop yourself back on the sofa, because everyone on here loves other peoples ideas, even if we do not agree.

Now you called my poem "silly", and you think my poem "lame"
And you've also called it "shocking", now I think that that's a shame :o:o

For I just tried to be humorous, and be a little funny
Cos, let's face it, you can hardly say "Don't send a gift, just money"

I'm assuming you're a bride to be, and p'raps a little stressed?
Cos I don't think that the words you used were, tactfully, the best

But my wedding, in the 60s, is a distant memory
And, politely, I just tried to help the current brides-to-be!

xx