No idea how I got here but need to get out of this place!

ani_26

missrlr wrote: »

Would appear I may be able to do my job. Now do you reckon I can use this to get another salary paid to me as I am doing 2 roles in 1?

Not a chance. The more you do, the more they'll expect, and after all, you are saving them money.

dorothy52

Oh my goodness me, who are you, Superwoman?! Well you really have bared your soul to us my lovely, and have been given some really good advice.

The thing that jumps out at me is that you are so stressed at work that everything else seems much worse than it is, by that I mean that I feel sure you would be able to cope better with the financial situation and relationship issues if you weren't so damned worried and exhausted.

It is so very, very clear to me that you are extremely intelligent and competent, and you have now had that verified at work, and very pleased I am too to hear it. Things can not continue in this vein and I feel that this is the issue that you (with our support and encouragement) must address in the first instance. Let's all get our heads together missrlr's mse friends and see what we can come up with to adviser her to best approach her employers regarding this patently unsustainable situation.

I completely understand your regrets regarding life not turning out as per plan a, however life has a habit of going off at a tangent, and often you seem to go backwards for a while. This was certainly the case with me, yet what an interesting journey it has taken me on, and my goodness how many reserves of strength did I discover that had hitherto remained hidden.

As regards retiring at 55. Well all I can say is that I am 55 and have more vim and vigour than I ever had in my twenties and thirties, and the thought of retirements frankly horrifies me. The difference between us (apart from several decades methinks) is that I control my career (such as it is) rather than it controlling me.

My two pennorth for what it's worth:

When you face a source of frustration you have 3 options:

Accept the situation and tolerate it with resentment.

Try and change it.

Walk away from it.

Chin up Darling, we will stay with you until it's all sorted then have a big party - woo hoo

missrlr

Career control

That is the name of the game

Let battle commence

Piquant_2

You neither speak or write drivel!

I'm sorry you're having a rough time at the moment. I am always here if you need me.

Piq x

Mara_uk7

Totally understand how you feel, Im in a senior management role at work, and plenty days I feel like someone will ask me hard questions I cant answer, and They will find out Im really a 11 year old playing at offices with her mothers old mail order catalogue forms !!
Sounds like you really need a wee break, Can you get away just for a few days ? Really away, not at home, cos you know you wont really relax there !! :cool: :cool:

missrlr

Oh well that was a blinking awful start to today - assessed all the info provided by said consultant yesterday explained this will take 9-12 months for me to do given my current workload and someone full time to take 4-5 months.
Suggested a consultant to get this moving forwards and was shouted at across the office "we are not spending money on a consultant it is not happening you will have to sort this"

missrlr

Right in a fit of pique and because I don't like being made to cry at 0900 in the morning I have a decided to do some job hunting today.

I have just realised I combine Quality, Regulatory and Operations management in my role - no wonder its a bit full on and difficult

missrlr

well that failed, sat down and said you need to read this and was told:
he is touting for business (consultant who did this work)
Its too expensive to employ him
How does he know you are going to take 9 months to do this
How does he know it will take him 4 months to do this
How does he know what you do
No it's not going to happen go away and work out how long it is going to take you with a project plan for each part and then do it

I know what I would have to do and I know it is going to take me MONTHS so I now have to do all this work to say it going to take me months to then be told to do it in a shorter time period anyway.

WHAT IS THE POINT??

missrlr

Tough times don't last, tough people do
I have decided there is more to work than meets the eye. There has to be a reason for the vile and bullying way I was treated today, combined to the extraordinary workload they seem to be setting me up for failure.
Both bosses actively practice Machiavelli and this would be right up their street with the whole pressure, oh give it a go then you failed and fire you scenario.
Took thoughts to a former long standing colleague of boss and they confirmed this thought without my prompting so being super super careful about ensuring I have covered my back and checked all facts etc before I get anything on email or past my lips. Sad way to work and live isn't it, for them as much as me.

missrlr

So it's raining, grey and miserable. Bit like my mood.

I recounted the nasty comments thrown at me yesterday to DH and it struck me as I was telling him that this was exactly the sort of thing he would say, and before I could censor it out popped "and I thought how does this happen I work with someone who speaks to me like crap and then I come home to a husband who does exactly the same" he looked a bit taken aback and said "oh thanks" so I just left it. Who knows maybe it made him think.

I am going to try really hard and focus on just work between 0900 and 1730 today OKo soi make that 0930 and 1730. I am hoping I will get the bulk of this how long will it take me with evidence sorted and then I can write it out and have the conversation about needing some assistance.

I feel completely drained, emotionally, physically and mentally. I can barely string two sentences together and I keep finding myself panicking about the whole job / household income and how I can stop myself from simply bursting in to tears. Must get a grip this is most unlike me and I don't like crying so it needs to stop.