No idea how I got here but need to get out of this place!

missrlr

so mortgage application might have hit a wall apparently they can't get their heads around the fact I am employed contractually but self employed for tax purposes.
We shall see I have the accountant on the case (goodness only knows how much that will end up costing me).
I wish people would LISTEN to what I am telling them rather than make it up as they go along!
In other news the stair carpet which has been a death trap for a while and we have finally decided has to be replaced is going to be nearly £400. Time to get saving. So we won't be able to do anything on that score for a couple of months.
I have bought myself a new windproof waterproof coat for outdoors stuff, in the sale so quite happy about that. Would have been better if I had this at the start of this week but I am sure the UK weather will remain wet so will get sufficient use out of it.
DH had a boot up the bum from me, he has still NOT SORTED his blinking pay out! 3 months now! I ask you - it is not as if I can do this for him he has got to get on and get it sorted.
That aside I am struggling with DOING exercise - I want to hibernate and not do anything when I get home. To be honest if I had the choice I would not get out of bed most mornings.
Struggling with motivation here. I know when I get into the groove of going to the gym I will be feeling better, more awake, energetic and so on but the only time I can get to the gym is after 7pm which is after I have been back home, seen DH, sat down got warm and so on. Very difficult to pry myself out of the house then. And all I need is for the work to get a problem in the evening so DH sits being grumpy with dinner on the table (and mine in the microwave) so I HAVE to eat when I walk through the door then bingo no gym til 8pm and you can imagine that one being a great motivational start can't you!
feeling blue, cold, naffed off.
I managed to drop avocado down my pale blue just been washed and pressed skirt this morning. The colour combo is NOT to be recommended.

missrlr

I give up - how blinking complicated can it be - at some point all people must be self employed and not have 3 years worth of accounts available!

DH now reckons he has been waiting for some woman to send him an email so he can send it to someone so they can send it to payroll to sort his issue out. Has he chased her - NO. So I suggested he does that and was met with grump grump grump
Boss has come in throwing he weight about and shouting as next door have parked in spaces designated for us so he had to walk from the other designated for us spaces which are all o f 10 meters further away - apparently I have to go and tell them it is not reasonable and to move their cars even though it now makes naff all difference to him as he has parked and in grumpily sitting at his desk huffing and puffing.
Oh ain't this shaping up to be a joyous afternoon!

missrlr

More daft emails asking for things I don't have so I am beginning to lose the plot with them.

Nearly the end of the month, pay in bank today so can start to play the money shuffle games for the coming month.

Should hopefully have a bit more money to play with to get on DH debts.

Piquant_2

Keep a smile plastered on. They'll wonder what they've missed!

It will get better, just keep plodding...

missrlr

OK day one, smile firmly fixed on face, finances of DH not quite a he thought, mostly because he had not accounted for the window fixing bill in this month's shenanigans - unfortunately we cannot live with a window that leaks substantially with water every time there is a bit pf precipitation .... and it has been budgeted for the past 6 weeks.

Oh well. I guess the emergency fund will be used again - this fund never seems to be increasing and always seems to be being used, no matter what. So back to the beginning with that one! I suppose if it wasn't there then it would be even more of an emergency wouldn't it!

I keep thinking that what I need is a small lottery win, well I say small but really to make a difference it is quite huge ....

NewLeaf_2

sorry about the emergency fund being used again x

missrlr

Ah, well actually on that score, the window repairs were half the price we expected. DH paid and I have just transferred my share to him (he failed to find the joint account cheque book I had left for this purpose - not sure if this is a good or bad thing ) and they "wouldn't take a card" despite the fact on the invoice there are little vis@ and m@sterc@rd symbols ....:cool:
So good news is the slush fund is more intact that I thought it would be :T
Nearly all bills are paid for the month (oh it is so exciting the firt few months and then checking the accounts "just in case" becomes so depressing I wish my life away) and I have the mini amount left for lunch with a friend in 2 weeks time. :rotfl:

And I have found another mortgage broker who might actually listen ........ I am not holding my breath.

missrlr

Read the So tired OS thread - it has had me in hysterics over the past four nights - I have now read the whole lot. I was / am feeling like a complete failure, we have been decorating (and for this read completely renovating) the house for the past forever. Which means there is next door to no point in cleaning, if you start then it never stops and also when glossing it is very important not to create dust eddies - which hoovering and dusting both do. About twice a year we would stop vow the next project was not going to happen for a few months and so clean so we could invite people over (read Christmas and birthdays). So then the whole house got scrubbed - wardrobes changed for the seasons, blah blah blah. We even got rid of the places where "stuff" got dumped. Vain attempt to make sure we didn't accumulate "stuff". We boarded out the loft - MISTAKE there's loads of stuff in the loft now! We even designed and built the blinking garage with a loft (it is now crammed with stuff too). How do two people manage to get so much stuff. I had the perfect ornament free, easy clean house before I met DH - literally nothing aside from the boxes for my crystal glasses, 2 suitcases and 2 boxes of Christmas decs in my loft, nothing on sides, 2 chairs a sofa and a TV in the living room. Minimal was not it. All helped by the fact I had no money so purchasing of stuff was unnecessary and I discovered the joys of being donated stuff and if I didn't like it / use it I would car boot it - making money to pay whatever bill loomed next.

We have been super organised, attacking one room at a time and we now have the hallway / landing / stairs left. And we built a mahoosive cupboard in above the stairs (gets rid of that really irritating long drop all stairways have - fantastic). Now we have stripped walls, paintwork, rewired lights, plugs and so on, plus generally made a mess we now have the walls and ceiling painting done and just the gloss work to do, and this means every flipping door in the place because they all access the hallway / landing.

This means EVERY single room is affected - you can't get from anywhere in the house to anywhere without using this space. In the process of getting married I have slumped:
stopped making gloop and started buying washing stuff instead
purchased proprietary cleaning products (which work better than the homemade stuff and at least the dog wont try and eat this which he does with St@rdrops for some unknown reason)
been unable to exchange wardrobes and thus have more clothes that any one person actually needs
not hoovered since before Christmas
not dusted since above - even though the telly is revolting and I have given up trying to see it so go upstairs to watch TV or use the iPad now (ahem)
Failed in growing veg (garden no longer can sustain this) due to change in garden
Car gets taken to the lovely men who for the princely sum of a £10 will scrub and polish it inside and out (even taking stuff out of the boot and off the back seat to clean it properly and now even chuck out the wrappers, empties and so on fantastic) - returning it to me gleaming which happens about 4 times a year unless I have to use it for work - then work pays and after the extremely sarcastic comment I now have a organiser who calls them to work and they do it in situ for me - and then work pays - great.

no fruit in my fruit bowl - we have in no particular order in said fruit bowl:
2 pairs of 3D glasses
1 pair of sunglasses
house keys for 3 other properties
spare car keys
post-it notes - both clean and used - some with way out of date info in them
a random selection of pens
a more random selection of paperclips and bulldog clips
a wind up torch
a defunct remote opener (but what for is a mystery)
a ruler
a half used pack of Stanley knife blades
a loyalty card for the local taxi firm
a glasses case - but no glasses in them
a plethora of stamps of every denomination you can think of and few you probably can't
several shopping lists and meal plans from some point in the mid and distant past
a business card of someone who constantly tries to sell me wine

Where does the fruit live?? - well mostly in the drawer of my desk at work, with an odd bit in the fridge. Don't ask!

Windows - well these are present in the house still I think - we had to have a few mended, and the workmen cleaned them with some magic stuff, but only inside. Outside the rain takes care of this (well sort of), actually it was so irritating knowing how dirty the outside was it could not get dark enough early enough for me. I do need to find a window cleaner - but there is no way I am up for monthly window cleans - twice a year will suffice thank you. Or these are likely to stay until I get on and do something constructive on that point.

Washing, well I have perfected the art of ensuring DH takes out of machine and hangs up - as long as I remember to stick it in the machine and add powder and turn it on. This can be challenging. I have been known on many occasions to put stuff in forget to either or both add detergent / turn on. SO clothes emerge rinsed not washed - have had some very odd conversations about stuff not smelling clean / needing to use hotter wash and change detergent (see not about not making gloop anymore). I can also successfully manage to not iron for 6 weeks (told you I had a lot of clothes). But as I have a responsible job for which I have to be presentable, this results in a MEGA iron session (currently accompanied by the rugby) in front of the telly. Usually whilst DH sleeps (he works nights) although I have learnt that consuming wine whilst doing this does not make for a good outcome.

Last summer I scalped the lawn in a vain attempt to stop the weekly cutting necessity - failed because of the blinking rain and it got so long the dog refused to park his bum on it as it was longer than he is tall - so that meant he would do the necessary on the patio (closer to house and so smellier somehow). So this year I am (if I CBA) going to have a camomile lawn. Doesn't need cutting - perfect. Just have to plant this - chances of this happening NIL. I also have to either get the blade sharpened in the current grass decapitating unit or get a new grass decapitating unit ..... or get a gardener in. How not OS is that?

DH has done the dirty on me - he bought a proprietary foam based cleanser for the bathroom so on his turn to clean, he swooshes the foam about (fails to scrub) and rinses, which does NOT clean a bathroom so when I get to do the bathroom the next week it is get the old fashioned scrubbing brush out and burn the calories that way (well save going to the gym that day) and the only reason I know this is he was seen smuggling the empty one into the bin and it slipped out from under his jumper!!!! So now I have to get some super un OS to fumigate the bathroom. Oh and I CBA to get the bicarb out to sort out the mould on the value shower curtain so I chucked it and bought a new one.

There are a pile of magazines in the living room, goodness only knows how old they are but I CBA to move to the recycling bin. So I just plonk my cups on top of them - added advantage of no rings on the table then!

I do make everything (usually) from scratch but snaffled a YS MR T finest bacon, leek and chicken concoction so we had that
As for veg peeling- really?? WHY? scrub and cook - never failed yet.

However, when the painting is finished and we have new carpet on the stairs we will have a mass clear out to put the house into order. I so want a housekeeper. How was it I used to run a spotless house, which contained said dog, large garden with substantial veg patch and flower beds and all sorts, and have a more than full time job, social life, regular gym sessions, horse and everything was mended sorted and up together but now I am married I can't? I need an OS boot up the bum - I need to get back into the swing of doing stuff. How is another matter.

missrlr

DH is not happy. I had a quote done for an alarm on the house, he was not interested in this whole topic and TBH I did not stress the point I said I wanted it to happen, he said nothing didn't get involved and so I just got on and did it. We have had a LOT of burglaries in the very near area over the past few months, steadily getting closer to us. The last one was within sight of our house! These seem to happen when houses are "empty" or perceived to be empty. It's difficult to tell empty or not status with our house as we mix up where the car is and try to randomise the patterns of being in / out with car present /absent from the house as much as possible. But basically there are times when one of us comes back to the house alone and I don't want to find the place burglarised .....

And I know - it's money we don't have - but I can access money to get it done (it's money I know I have coming in from work) and I know I can pay it over several months as I have given this company a lot of work by referrals in the past few years. What price peace of mind? I know it *should* go on debt but really I am concerned about this and I think that the

Anyway I had the survey done, and a quote and left it in the kitchen - nothing. So I moved it to the study and "suddenly" he found it. And then decided I had been "sneaky" and "underhand" about getting the quote done, and he wanted to be involved in this and should have known it was going on. I do understand I had not done the usual level of remind, give him a calendar request, remind again and so on, I just mentioned it and then got on and did it, but he showed as much enthusiasm as an unenthusiastic thing about the whole subject. TBH I could not face the huffing and puffing about it. He had the opportunity and didn't get involved.

So now he wants to "be there" when they come back to have another survey done, and he wants no holes drilled in things and carpets being lifted and so on. OK I get that. But really for someone who managed to avoid the debt question to the point where avoidance was lying he is honestly trying to make out like this is some sort of trust issue that I have broken his trust by getting this done and not telling him about it or letting hi get involved and it just is not as far as I am concerned - now Am I Being Unreasonable?

Having been quite upset about this all last night - I decided that there is no point being mopey about it and having reread the missive above I really need to get a grip - a large one at that and sort my life out. So I have signed up for another week's worth of classes at the gym (quite enjoyed it if I am honest) and have made a plan of attack for the house and life in general.
We have friends staying next weekend so I have 8 days to lick the house into shape, get a workable plan of action so I can split the housework into manageable chunks each night and then keep on top of it. So far I have decided that between now and Monday I will:
HALLWAY: cannot do any more painting to this as need to pull carpet up to do the last of paint work, however the rest of the paintwork is now done and dry and so there is nothing stopping this from being cleaned (as the dust now can't adhere to the paintwork in a bad permanent way). So this can be dusted, mopped, hoovered,scrubbed, cleaned and generally made lovely (with the exception of the grotty carpet, but this can be hoovered).
Then remaining tools can be stored in the new cupboard until these are used to finalise the paintwork AFTER the weekend when friends have visited or put in the garage out of the way. We are NOT pulling up the carpet before friends weekend.
In the process of all this I will go through the coats by the front door and wash those which are in need, and pack away the ones which are not being used as out of season e.g. the summer mac!
I do also need to get on and clean all the (previous occupant of the house) bad attempts of painting which is all over the window frames - there is only 1 window so this really needs to be done.
Then I will have a very clean decluttered hallway.
I do need to get on and buy a blind for the top of the stairs and next door have a search and rescue strength bulb on PERMANENTLY which shines from their landing window into ours - so bright it wakes both Doglet and I up when it is turned on unless I have the bedroom door shut! This is lower priority than the cleaning though.

GUEST ROOM: sort through clean washing on bed and add to ironing pile, bin anything which is not paired / respectable. Put the rest away.
Strip and remake bed, wash current bedding and put it away.
Check in storage under bed and remove stuff that is not relevant any more
Check through wardrobes and remove irrelevant clothing to either sell or chuck or give to sister.
Box up all stuff we have for MIL and put on shelf in spare room wardrobe.
Dust everywhere, clean the windows hoover including the top of the curtains and top of the wardrobe.
wash net curtains
SHUT THE DOOR WHEN I HAVE DONE THIS TO STOP IT GETTING MESSY WITH A NOTE SAYING STAY OUT!!!!!!

STUDY: file all paperwork, shred the shreddy pile, sort through the 3 drawers and 3 shelves of "stuff" and either make it a home or chuck it.
Do the ironing mountain and hang it all up where it should live.
(note this may lead to a wardrobe clear out if there is insufficient space for it all)
Put pile of stuff on newly cleared landing to be put in loft (this is right under loft hatch so logical)
wash net curtains

BEDROOM: go through all wardrobes remove items which are irrelevant
ditto under bed storage
ditto shoes and boots (and make a pile of to be mended shoes then take them to the menders).
Dust it all
clean windows
wash net curtains
hoover

Go to tip with stuff to chuck or if I get this done by Monday then leave for bin men.
Go to menders with shoes
Mend clothes that are needing mending.
All nets to be done at once and then rehung (so they don't crease)

fall asleep in a big heap.

Then I have to clean bathroom, dust, hoover and generally clean living room, downstairs loo and kitchen scrub. So the plans for these are:
bathroom and loo do Wednesday in deep clean mode, then Sat am quick swoosh round before visitors arrive.
Kitchen - attack Left side Monday, right side Tuesday, then Thursday after dinner floors and round edge of hob.
Living room Friday night - move it all and then hoover, dust skirting (won't be too bad as did a year ago when we decorated it!) wash nets, hoover curtains, wash dog bedding

That means on Sat am I have to do relatively little, just after we have bathed swoosh the bathroom

Plan for weekly clean as from previous experience this can work is:
Sun - wipe out fridge BEFORE we do Mr T Shop - minimal food in fridge at time so easy, mop floor go to Mr T so floor dries when out, empty bins in preparation for Bin Day and alternative weekends recycling so sweep house for this. Dog bed wash and other dog walking accoutrements as needed
Mon - wipe out bins when removed bin bag, also spray outside bin to prevent honkiness with dilute bleach
Wed - bathroom night - towels to be in machine when I go to work then out to dry by DH when he arises in the day
Sat - change our bed (can be done Fri if away for weekend and left to air)

Goodness me that sounds organised.

Right now off to speak with DH about this whole situation - it really is silly.

missrlr

Mortgage not going to happen - B00GGER need another plan. And just chucked food all over the kitchen cupboards and floor so now not going to gym but will be spending several hours scrubbing that. Well it will get it off my list I suppose.