school insisting my autistic DS wear shorts

Gingham_R

I had a nightmare in PE, from age 11 onwards. My primary teachers were lovely. I never even noticed I couldn't do what the others could until I moved schools. (Though I did used to wonder why i was always picked last!)

jellyhead

I always thought it was because I had asthma ... it never occurred to me that it might be because I can't catch a ball and I fall over my own shadow

My 6 year old is very aware that he can't balance. They were dressed as monkeys for their gymnastics show, and several people commented that he didn't fall over when he had a tail. I think he misses his tail

Sorry, off topic

Unless OP's son is clumsy, in which case the shorts might be relevant. 6 year old informed me yesterday that the reason he doesn't ever want to wear shorts is because he falls over so often, and long trousers protect your knees a bit, whereas he feels vulnerable in shorts. (we were discussing his gloves at the time, because they'd been left on the radiator at home and he didn't want to run to school without wearing them - in case anyone thinks I was telling him to wear shorts in January!)

Gingham_R

That's true. Nothing like skint knees on a gym floor to make you feel like crap for the rest of the day!

duchy

So many ASD kids are dyxspraxic too (sorry just finished work and am too knackered to check the spelling) too. We call it "two left feet disease" in our house.

concerned43

My DS is dyspraxic as well - ok with his hands but his feet don't work (his words not mine)
My DS has a card that allows him time out - but when he is anxious he freezes and cannot move and therefore does not use the card.
my problem with CAHMS is that we were referred their because is anxiety got so bad he was having chest pains - I was under the impression that they would offer DS counceling to help him manage the stress/anxiety...it was serious and they did not offer him help but instead went into assessments - he has had 8 so for and not one bit of help for his anxiety. i also told CAHMS that I did not want my DS formally diagnosed as I do not want to limit his career options nor his options for later life relationship/children wise.
I did read about the case where a father was denied custody of his kids because he had aspergers! is scared me!!
CAMHS however seem hell bent of continuing assessments while my DS continues to become more and more anxious. CAMHS say these assessments can take up to a year!!! how come? its not even being done by a psychologist but a social worker who has been trained to carry out assessments!
I just want CAHMS to forget the assessments - I/we don't care what he is on the ASP scale we just want the relevant therapy to help him control his anxiety! why can't we have a say in this - why do they take the decision away from the family and decide themselves?

daska

Have you spoken with your son's GP about this, they should be getting feedback and therefore might be able to explain why CAMHS are proceeding as they are, or more particularly, why they are resistant to adopting the approach you want. There's also the possibility that the GP might be able to make a different referral that might deal with the specific problem you feel needs addressing, if it's appropriate.

concerned43

daska wrote: »

Have you spoken with your son's GP about this, they should be getting feedback and therefore might be able to explain why CAMHS are proceeding as they are, or more particularly, why they are resistant to adopting the approach you want. There's also the possibility that the GP might be able to make a different referral that might deal with the specific problem you feel needs addressing, if it's appropriate.

thnks daska - I was thining about going to his GP, I will raise it again at CAHMS today and if no joy then I'll get on to his GP.

Lunar_Eclipse

duchy wrote: »

I suspect you'd find teaching a lot more rewarding if you thought of children in better terms and not always someone else's problem.

I didn't think Daisiegg's post read that way at all. In fact, it brought tears to my eyes to see how much she cares about her pupils. It's clear that she goes the extra mile, but she is still human and will not be the perfect teacher, every day, to every child. That's life.

I think it possibly (and understandably) hit a nerve with you in terms of your own child's needs. I was going to report your post because I found it very aggressive and rude, but hey, we can all have our moments.

jellyhead

Perhaps they can't proceed with counselling until they have the correct diagnosis? I don't know, it was different for us because they said he wasn't bad enough to get a diagnosis, and said that his dyspraxia and autism traits come from me. So, they went straight into counselling for my son, and he didn't need much.

It's tricky, deciding whether a diagnosis is a help or a hindrance. I was told that my eldest would not need a label because he was already statemented and was getting all the help he would ever get, and a label would make no difference. The paediatrician was not keen on labels for mild cases.

He was fine until he got to high school, then as somebody said earlier it was like throwing him to the lions! Also, mine are summer birthdays so not only are they 'behind' for their age, but their age is also lower than everyone else's!

The SENCO at high school said she thinks a label is sometimes helpful for the child's own self esteem if they think they are different but they don't know why they are different. Also, they might need a label to be allowed to type in their exams, which might mean the difference between getting the grade they need for a college course, or not.

My 15 year old is feeling quite prickly at the thought of being diagnosed with autism and he has started refusing to use the laptop in lessons. He's got a girlfriend, and he wants her to think he isn't 'spesh'. He doesn't want a diagnosis, but he doesn't have a formal diagnosis of dyspraxia yet, and he will need that if he continues to say he wants to go to college and university. If he chose something else, a job where it didn't matter that nobody could read his hand writing, then he wouldn't need a diagnosis.

My brother did a dyslexia course at the special needs school and he needed help to get his car mechanic qualification. Since then he's not told a soul that he's dyslexic, except for his wife. He needed the diagnosis to get the help he needed for the after-school education, then he just forgot about it and didn't let it define him. I'm thinking that my teenager might need to do that, because he can't just blindly follow the path he wants to follow, not if nobody can read his writing. If he wasn't typing in exams he wouldn't even get the 5 grade C or above that he needs for college.

I know what you mean about not wanting a diagnosis, OP, but if they can't get into their chosen career without it then what can you do?

jellyhead

Sorry for that long post!!