Internet Dating Discussion

sarahs999

Trust me. Join a proper dating site (I met DH through dating driect, Match is also good) or better, get a friend to write you up on mysinglefriend.com. It's great because someone else says what you're like, so you get a much more balanced (and funnier, usually!) write up. Keep it sharp and snappy, a little offbeat, and you'll find lots of men interested. But you do need a photo, I'll say it again. You've seen how many women on here have said they just delete profiles with no photo on - it's true for men too, probably more so.

It's nothing to be ashsamed of! I think the days of the interenet dating scene being only for weirdos died out some time ago. My best friend also met her husband online (we're now both Mrs Smith!). You can have a great evening with girlfreinds and a bottle of wine, going through your matches and making a shortlist of prospective dates. It's great fun. Just enjoy it!

Steel_2

giantmutantbroccoli wrote: »

Has anyone on here tried dating off the internet? Did it work out for you?
And does anyone know how to spot a dodgy reply?
I put an ad on a dating website as a sort of spur of the moment thing, not expecting any sort of response. I didn't really think about it. Checked my emails this morning and I've got a bunch of replies and I'm not exactly sure what to do with them :eek: What's the ettiquette on this sort of thing? If you get a reply you're not interested in, do you email back saying "Sorry" or just ignore them? If you get a reply that is interesting, how do you sort it out so you can meet the person safely?
I'm a bit lost tbh, I feel like there's some sort of code I'm missing

Worked for me. I'm married to one of the guys I met! I used a username and did not tell anyone what my real name was. I tended to ignore photos as I knew they'd be out of date or out of focus or something.

You have to sort the guys who are after sex only from the genuine ones. And the way to do that is to email for a while and NOT meet! Unless you are after sex, in which case do the opposite of what I suggest below!

The ones who are after sex will try to get you to a meeting with them as fast as possible. If you simply explain that you'd like to get to know them by email first, they very rarely bother. If you really don't want to reply, just don't bother.

I had 17 replies after the first 48 hours and sent some of them back a short note. If they'd emailed me nicely with some general chat, I was happy to email back. If they sent a smiley they were ignored, because as far as I'm concerned that is rude. They wanted me to do all the running and chase them. There's no effort on their part at all to even be sociable. So is the phrase "Hi. Your picture looks interesting. Have a look at my profile and see if we have anything in common". No. Lazy sods. Get off your !!!! and make an effort. You can bet your backside they didn't look at your profile once.

Also, don't be guilt-tripped into replying to someone either. If they start that silliness, block them. If these guys start behaving like sh*ts so soon, it doesn't get any better. Remember you're looking for someone decent who deserves you. Also don't touch the ones who tell you their wives died a few months ago. 1) If they did they are in no state to be dating so soon 2) They're gits that are simply playing on your emotions to try and get you to feel sorry for them and sleep with them. Probably not even married at all.

Hubby and I emailed each other every day - he emailed, I replied. His emails were genuine, chatty, never rude or suggestive. A lot of the other guys fell by the wayside because they couldn't be bothered or gave up after 5 or 6 emails. One did get my phone number but rang at odd times of the night, would never ring when he said he would and occasionally was quite obviously drunk and obsessed by Aston Villa's latest result. I simply let him slide and he didn't kick up much fuss (I think he knew he blew it after the 1am call).

After a few emails hubby asked if I would like to meet up and I asked for a raincheck later in the month. He agreed and never pressured me about it. After month he asked again, as it was obvious our emails were getting longer and more frequent. We had progressed to being friends - we expressed sympathy over crap days, shared stories about holidays and growing up, compared notes on our cats etc. I agreed and gave him my number (and my real name!), we spoke on the phone first to arrange a time and then we met in a public place for a quick meal and a drink.

Our first date I wasn't sure he was my type, but I carried on because of our friendship and how we got on via email. Plus of course when you're really nervous things can look different from reality. Second date we relaxed and things started clicking, third date very relaxed and I was certain the friendship would go further. Fifth date he got in my house for a cup of tea, which he still laughs about as he was dispatched home about 10 seconds after he put his mug down in case he got too touchy-feely.

Moved in with him at 6 months, engaged at 13 months, married at 2 years 3 months, now been married for 3.5 years. He is truly the best man I have ever met and I can't believe how lucky I was to find him.

xmaslolly76

Ive got to agree with Ditzy a photo is a must. Another way to spot the married ones is if you are in the middle of a conversation and they just log off without saying goodbye especially if it happens more than once. You can guarentee it will be the wife or girlfriend walking in on them . :-)

Errata

If you find a possible, don't waste weeks faffing about emailing, msn ing, txting, yakking on mobiles. Fix a date asap, if the chemistry's there it's there from the get go. If you suggest a Sunday pre lunch drink and ther's a lot of humming and hahing - there's another woman around. Blokes can slide out of most things, but Sunday lunch en famille is never one of them.

[Deleted User]

me and my hubby met on a dating site.

we moved in together just 2 weeks after meeting for the 1st time, got engaged 2 weeks after that, married 2 months later, and heve been married almost 4 years and have 2 kids together:D:D:j:j:j:j:j:j

we are very happy and so are my 4 kids from a previous relationship

blinko

ilikethesimpsons wrote: »

me and my hubby met on a dating site.

we moved in together just 2 weeks after meeting for the 1st time, got engaged 2 weeks after that, married 2 months later, and heve been married almost 4 years and have 2 kids together:D:D:j:j:j:j:j:j

we are very happy and so are my 4 kids from a previous relationship

a great story although moving in togethr ater 2 weeks speedy gonzales

mackemdave

Think people are making too much of the posting a photo...I was disappointed on more than one occassion when meeting people who had photos posted and pleasantly suprised by a couple of people who I met without seeing photos...agree about the meeting up asap ,some people on these sites are just interested in chatting via emails and txts and then shy away from meeting ,which to me is wasted time

mumof3mk

Hiya, just thought i would share my past 5 years...... in feb 05, i was contacted throu hot or not site which i was on, by a lovely man. whom lived roughty about 20 miles away ( now my hubby).
we spoke on hot or not, msn, chatted on the phone daily, when he was awkae and not working his nightshift job..

We finally met in the march, after many weeks of everyday emailing, chatting on phone etc, chatting via cam, and i invited him to come over to my place .

Well, nerves got the better of me, n got him bit tipsey on my pernod, and then he flittered between his house and my house and work.....

in july 05 he properly moved in with me and my 3 children from prevoius.

june 06. we had our little boy Aaron together .

aug 08. we married, and we are still as happy as the first day we met......... ...

im still so in love with him.....he my soul mate, my rock, and hubby and the children are my world.!....

SailorSam

Steel wrote: »

You have to sort the guys who are after sex only from the genuine ones. And the way to do that is to email for a while and NOT meet! U
.

I imagine the same advice can be applied to us men when women are only wanting us for our bodies.

Ladyhawk

Hi Everyone,

I have been single for far too long and recently turned 30. I have been on internet dating sites on and off for a few years. But am still yet find the one - the most number of dates I have been on with one guy is 3... usually I just end up having a really nice night out but not clicking with the guy. Generally people say that I am attractive and I have some good pics on my profile.

I was hoping that I might get some helpful feedback on my profile as recently I have not been having much luck.

So here goes:

My friends would probably describe me as very independant, fun and having a fairly dry, dark sense of humour. I tend to take my work quite seriously, though try not to let that spill over into real life.

I bought my flat a while ago now so am slowly getting rid of the bad taste wallpaper and tidying up the jungle/garden. I'm not particularly good at this DIY lark though I have enjoyed making my flat my own.

I am quite sporty and have given most sports a go at one time or another to varying levels of success. From darts, which my friends won't let me play anymore because I can't hit the board to representing my university in hockey. I love skiing was was really pleased last year to finish Europe's longest black run without too much problem (except jelly legs from the slushy snow!)

So what am I looking for? I am quite tall, so would definitely prefer a taller man - preferably tall enough to allow me to wear heels when we are together. I would also like him to be strong - I like a good debate so would need someone who would stand up to me (is that a weird thing to want?). Basically what I want is someone that I bring out the best in and he brings out the best in me. Otherwise... I am open minded!!

So - please be gentle and give me some hints as to what I am doing wrong?