Internet Dating Discussion

giantmutantbroccoli

sarahs999 - Thanks, I didn't think of setting up another email address. I didn't put a photo up, not really comfortable sticking my pic up on the web for all to see. The ads are open to the public (and google) and tbh I'd be pretty embarassed if any of my friends saw it Fortunatly I don't mind making friends! I hadn't really thought about it (duh) but I figured it'd be okay to email a bit, then swap pics. Is that a weird way round of doing things?

ditzy

hiya sarahs999 advice is really good :T along with others :j



what always struck me on dating sites, was that any guy who didnt have a photo up was either ... totally minging.. lol married .. or hiding something ... so i would always want to see a photo striaght up myself ..

there is nothing worse than thinking youve found the man of your dreams :Dand then he turns out to look like shrek and be about 89 years old :eek: lol and trust me it happens!!!! :o:o

for me those without photos were deleted without reply once i got savvi

good luck to you!! i hope you find him :D:D

mumOf2wonderfulkids

hiya,

yes it does work, I met a lovely guy 8 years ago and i have been married to him for 5 years this year, im still crazy in love with him love our little family (we also had a DD and DS)
it sounds corny and cheesy i know

i would suggest you speak to them for a while before meeting, get a feel of his personality , chat over webcam, theres nothing worse than meeting up with someone that you really are just not attracted to, if you are going to meet up with someone, always do it in a crowded place and tell someone else where you are going etc, make sure your mobile is fully charged so you can ring out if you need to (god i sound like an old mother haha)

hope it goes well for you

Ladyhawk

Hi - sadly I have a lot of experience with dating websites... and TBH I would rather people just ignore my email than write back thanks but no thanks. You get all excited that someone has replied only to get the crushing "you're not worth my time"... On match.com there is a "thanks but no thanks" button that you can push which I don't mind people using.

I know loads of people who have met their partners through dating direct and match. I have not been so lucky, but have met loads of really lovely guys though it. Yes, you should always be comfortable with whom ever you meet, and meet somewhere public. But don't be completely paranoid about it.

I completely agree about the photo's - I don't even bother looking at their profiles, I just delete them.

Indie_Kid

A friend of mine met his current girlfriend online about 7 years ago and they're still together. They didn't meet on a dating site. I also know many people who are together, met online; but not on a dating site.

Just something to add about safety offline:
Don't agree to go back to their house with them.

Souk08

Hey I've been online dating for about 18 months and have met some guys that I didn't fancy and some that I did but no one awful. I'm basically looking for something very casual and am honest about that so get loads of replies and only respond to ones I like the sound of. Also because it's a physical thing for me I ask for/send pics straight away so that I'm not wasting my time.

It's worked for me. Usual safety rules and all I can add is don't ake it too seriously or expect too much, not everyone will be your cup of tea. Good Luck.

Person_one

You should definitely definitely put a picture up. I agree with the previous poster that I always ignored users without one because I assumed they were either being secretive for some reason (married, 30 years older than they claim) or ashamed of being on a dating site (if I'm on one I don't really want to feel judged by the people I meet on there! I don't feel its shameful or embarrassing and I proudly tell people where I met OH!)

An old friend of mine spotted me on the site I used, but that was because he was browsing himself and thinking of signing up so why should he think any less of me for doing the same? He actually said he was surprised to find me on there as he would have thought I had no problem getting dates and it gave him a bit more confidence to try it himself.

If you're looking to try an actual dating site, I heartily reccommend mysinglefriend.com, you really do get a feel for what the person is truly like rather than a lot of facts and figures or a well chosen few lines.

tincat

A friend of mine is just starting to internet date, and at first was paranoid about putting photos of herself up. She got very few responses, so I suggested that she put up a photo which may be of her in a scenic shot, like on holiday or something, so that the person viewing it will get an idea of what she looks like and her body type, but not so they would recognise her on a bus or something. She's had so much more interest since doing so (only a few days).

While a portrait photo is great for the person viewing, as long as you have one up there at all you will do better than having none at all, as people have the option to block profiles without a picture.

I also think that you should never have anything on a dating site under your own name, as who wants a profile to come up if someone googles you? When you arrange to meet, you can give your real name.

Have an internet dating name (don't choose one that is big headed, like 'sexysue' or anything, just choose a normal name like Kate, or Sarah), and put up a pic.

I actually put in my profile that I promised to respond if the person mentioned a keyword in a sentence to prove that they had actually read my profile, and the more creatively they mentioned it the better. This cut down the number of people who I had to reply to, as many of them just send a bog standard letter out to every female.

Also, be realistic about who you're going to meet. It's unlikely that you will meet the love of your life the first few times, and that people will always live up to their profile, so commit to going on dates that you would not normally go on (although be safe etc etc). So don't close yourself off to anyone unless they reveal something you know would be a deal breaker.

giantmutantbroccoli

Thanks a lot guys! Still reading the advice here, it's good to hear from people who've tried it and got somewhere.
I'm going to have a think about going on a proper dating site, I'm not sure. Not sure I explained properly but the site I put an ad on isn't a dating site, it's a small-ads site. There's not that many ads and only one has a pic.
I've had a couple of replies that start with 'not sure if this is genuine/real' so I guess that's probably because there's no pic.

Odette

Met my OH through OKcupid (which is actually pretty good) last year and were moving in together this month.

Saying that, some advice; do, do the meeting in a public place thing, i met OH about 2-3 times out before inviting him back to MY house and I always told my best friends to text me and make sure Im ok. Be safe and careful and wrap up.

Secondarily, give people a chance, after a first date things can be weird, everyones tense and etc after I met my OH I wasnt really into him but he didnt do anything that offended me, I went on a second and third date (rather than stay in) and now we are inseperable.