Internet Dating Discussion

elfen

I have done online dating, and have met a few nice people, some of whom are still my friends. But I met Pint (my OH) at the pub, so I don't think ti matters, just remember, if you're not looking for it, it'll usually come get you

Person_one

SugarSpun wrote: »

I met my husband through an expat group who have a forum and arrange group meetings online. It's not quite the same thing, but it worked for us...

If someone doesn't appeal to you, write back and thank them for their email but say you're not sure you're compatible. Manners cost nothing.

I seem to be in the minority on this one! Maybe it just my personal experiences speaking but when I was first online I used to send a very polite 'thanks but no thanks' e-mail and on more than one occassion I got quite nasty replies and one guy wouldn't give up telling me I was wrong that we weren't suited! I was never offended by someone not replying to an initial e-mail, however I do think that if you've replied once and are in a 'conversation' you then have to say something if you've decided they aren't right for you.

SugarSpun

I think if the person replies after you've said thanks but no thanks, you can feel free to ignore their email, or respond and say thanks again for making sure you didn't second-guess yourself and then block them. Blocking them just for not being what you want seems a step too far, but my opinion's only that and other people might feel differently

Zazen999

Person_one wrote: »

I seem to be in the minority on this one! Maybe it just my personal experiences speaking but when I was first online I used to send a very polite 'thanks but no thanks' e-mail and on more than one occassion I got quite nasty replies and one guy wouldn't give up telling me I was wrong that we weren't suited! I was never offended by someone not replying to an initial e-mail, however I do think that if you've replied once and are in a 'conversation' you then have to say something if you've decided they aren't right for you.

Nope, I'm with you here. Just delete, and block. Then you've not started anything. It's not like you are ever going to have contact again, so blocking is the filter mechanism best used.

MrsTinks

Don't bet on never speaking to them again... I actually came across someone I spoke to on a dating site through my work channels... it was... uhmm... awkward Problem was we both have quite distinctive names so there was no chance of mistaken identity either LOL

Errata

Does internet dating work ? The odds are good, but the goods can be odd.

Person_one

elfen wrote: »

I have done online dating, and have met a few nice people, some of whom are still my friends. But I met Pint (my OH) at the pub, so I don't think ti matters, just remember, if you're not looking for it, it'll usually come get you

I'm pleased things worked out this way for you elfen, but for lots of us, it just never will!

I worked in a female dominated profession, had mainly female friends and already knew all the male friends they could potentially set me up with, also I have some fairly specific requirements in a partner so the chances of him just appearing magically out of nowhere were pretty slim!

Sometimes taking the initiative to find what you're looking for can be the only way to actually get it!

LydiaSophia

I met my husband on line - at plentyoffish.com

You soon get to know if someone is genuine or not. Just communicate through the website to start with and only send phone numbers etc when you are comfortable.

giantmutantbroccoli

Thanks guys, lot of useful advice there!
It's more of a personal ad website than a dating website iyswim, so any replies I send would be via email - I'm probably being a bit over-cautious about not giving my email address out. It's not like they could do anything spectacularly bad with it, apart from spam me. I'm assuming when you say 'blocking' you mean something to do with the site you're on, not just blocking the email?
I'm not saying which site because there's so few ads on it, but you post the ads anonymously and get replies via email, not on the site. I don't know how many weirdos that sort of site attracts but I haven't had any dodgy anatomy pics yet. However, there's still time, it's only been up 1 day.
I do have manners! That's why I'm asking about replies. I wanted to know what people expect. If I respond to something on a website I don't automatically expect to get a reply but I figured the rules for dating (rather than buying junk off gumtree) might be different.
I think most if not all the messages I've got are genuine, or at least they look genuine. SO either they're genuine or they're from really GOOD scammers There's one from an American guy who's coming over here on holiday later this year and wants to meet up then which sounds a bit off to me, but that's it.


Thankyou to everyone who replied to say you met your OH online, proof that it does work!

sarahs999

Hi.

I would set up a special email address just to deal with this. THen you can rest easy that youhaven't given out an important address to an idiot who'll keep annoying you.

I met my husband on line. I replied to everyone who emailed me, unless it looked like a mass email they sent to every girl. Look for detail - have they read your ad and responded to what you've written? Or have they just said 'you look great, let's meet?' Dump the generic responses. Personally I think you should reply to people who take the time to try to get to know you. Lots of people I just said 'thanks, but I think we won't be compatible, good luck,' that kind of thing. I had 75 emails too, so it took quite a while!

Also, did you post a photo? Photos are really important in this game. If there's no chance that you;ll fancy them, or them you, you're just wasting time. You might be compatible friends, if it's all done throughout photos, but what's the point if when you meet you just don't fancy each other? After all, we're looking for romantic partners, not friends.