So - your 8 year old is having a tantrum... do you?

blue_haddock

pigpen wrote: »

BUT... it is quite possible a child of that age having a tantrum may have an unseen disability such as Aspergers or other autistic spectrum disorder or learning difficulty.. while many children run amok, many middle aged women are too quick to jump to the conclusion it is the parent at fault.

or alternatively the kid could just be a little !!!!!!!

meritaten

I remember Nicki's thread too - and tbh I NEVER explain about the childs disability - I just apologise for the behaviour and remove them.
I dont think you need to 'explain' - Just apologise! its no-one elses concern that the child has a behaviour disorder - and tbh I feel it gives the message to the child that they can 'get away' with bad behaviour just because they are Autistic/Aspergers/ADHD or whatever invisible disability they have!
besides which, any punishment needs to follow the 'crime' very swiftly - and getting them out of the situation is a priority.

Padz_2

sassyblue wrote: »

And she proceeded to have a go at you?! :rotfl: I think you've sadly encountered what l call a chav family, no regard for anyone else but themselves and no manners to boot.

As for the disability bit, my judgement is based on my SIL who always made excuses for her autistic son but l think even when you're out situations can be dealt with without the child needing to lash out and if they're prone to do that then you make doubly sure they're not near people or in places where they can causes such a scene. (My SIL would have offered up the excuse 'he's autistic' as if that excuses all behaviour, it doesn't IMO!)

Yes I'm sure you're right. No regard for anyone else and no manners. Not a very good role model for her child.

make_me_wise

I cant believe that an adult would actually buckle and decide to eat elsewhere, because an 8 year old is having a tantrum, due to their favourite meat not being available at a carvery.

Who is the adult and who is the child in this family? I ask this because why would an adult consider having a stand up row with another adult who has been hit by their spoilt out of control child. They have a right to complain without the person losing it. Maybe the childs behaviour reflects the way their parents carry on.

seven-day-weekend

Padz wrote: »

Your child is kicking off because the carvery restaurant have run out of gammon and turkey and you need to go somewhere else. You've given the child the choice of staying there and eating something different from the menu but she demands a carvery. You decide to go elsewhere and tell your child but your child says "But I wanted to eat HERE!" and throws herself round in a temper hitting a stranger on the arm in the process.


A) Apologise to the poor innocent middle-aged woman in the queue who was struck by your child flailing their arms around in a temper? Or maybe ask your child to say sorry?

Have a stand up row with the stranger because they complained about being hit?

Thoughts appreciated. Thanks.

A. No question. And child goes home and doesn't eat at all.

missmontana

My child wouldn't dare behave like in the first place, never has done, he knows it a treat to eat out, and if he didn't behave he wouldn't go again!

System

Padz wrote: »

I'm 100% sure that the child was not autistic. I've been a teacher for more years than I care to admit and I can usually tell. Plus it was a girl and autism is less common in girls. Child was wearing a sweatshirt from local Junior school.

can you tell by looking that someone is/isnt autistic? i doubt theres any real evidence girls are less likely to be autistic , autistic children do attend mainstream schools surely as a teacher you must realize that !

seven-day-weekend

pigpen wrote: »

Apologise to the lady who was hit.. it wasnt deliberate.. take my child home and send them to their room and they would get toast later if they were lucky and Id treat myself to a takeaway.

BUT... it is quite possible a child of that age having a tantrum may have an unseen disability such as Aspergers or other autistic spectrum disorder or learning difficulty.. while many children run amok, many middle aged women are too quick to jump to the conclusion it is the parent at fault.

That is still no reason for the child to be allowed to get away with unnacceptable behaviour, you jusdt deal with it differently.

Padz_2

CHRISSYG wrote: »

can you tell by looking that someone is/isnt autistic? i doubt theres any real evidence girls are less likely to be autistic , autistic children do attend mainstream schools surely as a teacher you must realize that !

Are they genuine questions? I'll answer them if they are.

gardner1

make_me_wise wrote: »

I cant believe that an adult would actually buckle and decide to eat elsewhere, because an 8 year old is having a tantrum, due to their favourite meat not being available at a carvery.

Who is the adult and who is the child in this family? I ask this because why would an adult consider having a stand up row with another adult who has been hit by their spoilt out of control child. They have a right to complain without the person losing it. Maybe the childs behaviour reflects the way their parents carry on.

loads of parents do because they are spineless
people we know bend over backwards not to upset their daughter and now she knows which buttons to press
she stayed with us a few times threw a tantrum and my wife gave her look which said do that again and see what happens....she was good as gold after that