So - your 8 year old is having a tantrum... do you?

cazbust01

sueeve wrote: »

Apologise to the other customer. You might well not win if you try to get your child to do it. Then take said child home to eat bread and cheese or similar.
Knowing how to behave out is an important part of scial develpment, and an 8 year old has to learn this. 8 is too old for tantrums.

not if they are autisitic

melancholly

CHRISSYG wrote: »

i fully understand how to deal with a autistic child as i have one , my questions were regarding the sweeping statements from someone claiming to be a teacher.

as an outsider, i think there are a lot of sweeping statements being made - there is no single way to deal with any child, especially when move into areas like ASD. what works for one child won't often work with another (especially when you factor in other comorbid disorders like language problems and ADHD). i can understand not liking a sweeping statement from someone else, but to me, you've replied with an equivalent one......

sassyblue

CHRISSYG wrote: »

i fully understand how to deal with a autistic child as i have one , my questions were regarding the sweeping statements from someone claiming to be a teacher.

I hope you're not going to turn this thread into a rant? The OP may have typed something that came across as a sweeping statement but IIRC you? (or someone else) rightly challenged her about it, why make something more out of it?

shays_mum

Ok disability aside, a profuse apology from me (if it was my kid that did the hitting) & a hidden short sharp pinch (hidden of course, don't want some busy body reporting me to social services!) for my tantrum throwing 8 yr old & no dinner that evening. Its not pc i know, but when i was growing you would not dare to act out in public & if you did you knew what was going to happen when you got home!!, ok you can flame me now....!

LittleMissAspie

Padz wrote: »

Plus it was a girl and autism is less common in girls.

Sorry but that's a stupid thing to say. Just because something is less common doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It's just less common.

Even if the child was autistic, they should still be taught that when you hit someone by accident you say sorry. That's an easy rule to learn.

jellyhead

Saturnalia wrote: »

Low blood sugar can cause aggressive tantrums in a person with diabetes or hypoglyceamia especially if they are a bit late eating - though that can probably be ruled out as if thay were the problem, the parent would be rushing to get something sugary into the child and quickly.

Yes, if the child was still in school uniform at teatime they might have walked to gymnastics etc. after a day at school and are now really hungry. My 6 year old comes out of gymnastics really hungry, even though he has a snack on the mile or so walk to get there.

Also, I don't know what 'junior' school is (here they go to primary at ages 4-11) but I have a giant of a child who could have been mistaken for an 8 year old when he was only 4 and had only just started reception class. I suppose people might say a 4 year old shouldn't be having tantrums, but it's possible after a long day of school and after school activities.

My 6 year old is not autistic (he is currently being assessed though) but he doesn't like red meat, so if we were at the carvery and they had no chicken or turkey I'd probably tell the people behind us to go in front of us while we discussed whether he wanted to just have the veg etc. or if he wanted to go elsewhere.

The mother probably could have handled this differently, however none of us are perfect, and depending on circumstances might not behave in the way we thought we would in this situation.

I would apologise to the woman who'd been hit, but if she demanded an apology from a child who was in meltdown she'd have a long wait. My eldest might have had a tantrum at age 4 or 5, but I probably wouldn't have felt like offering explanations about special needs blah blah blah, especially when so many people don't 'believe' in special needs anyway.

The mother in this situation now realises that it's probably best to move the child away from the queue before having the discussion. The child would have been holding up the queue anyway. I'm sorry you were hit, OP. If it had been my child I would have apologised, as would most parents, even the ones using the 'disability' excuse.

System

melancholly wrote: »

. i can understand not liking a sweeping statement from someone else, but to me, you've replied with an equivalent one......

where exactly ?

System

sassyblue wrote: »

I hope you're not going to turn this thread into a rant? The OP may have typed something that came across as a sweeping statement but IIRC you? (or someone else) rightly challenged her about it, why make something more out of it?

sorry thought this was a open discussion forum !

melancholly

CHRISSYG wrote: »

where exactly ?

you apparently understand how to deal with any autistic child..... it's as much a sweeping statement to say that you know everything there is to know about dealing with any given autistic child.

i'm not trying to demean your experience, not at all. just pointing out that no single person's experience with their own children (or teaching children) allows them to say anything about every other child.

autistic children are all very different, with their own personalities. they vary massively in terms of their social behaviour, from very extreme to barely noticeable issues to an outsider. i completely understand that you have personal experience, but you are doing exactly what you accuse others of (imo) - making a sweeping generalisation.

Padz_2

LittleMissAspie wrote: »

Sorry but that's a stupid thing to say. Just because something is less common doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It's just less common.

Even if the child was autistic, they should still be taught that when you hit someone by accident you say sorry. That's an easy rule to learn.

Wit the greatest of respect if you read my post again, carefully this time, you will find that I did not say that autism does not exist in girls. I said it was less common.

There is a great deal of research to back that up as well as my personal experience. You could Google it and find it for yourself.

However if you still wish to believe I post stupid things - be my guest.


HTH