Can't bare to have toddler son sleep on his own in his bedroom

Viz_2

I also think its about time the 3 y.o. slept in his own room.
My daughter has been in her own room since the age of 7 months.

conradmum

HappySad wrote:

Are you like me?

Son now 3 and baby on the way. I cannot bare to think of son having to move into his bedroom to sleep there on his own. I know all about those SuperNanny and TinyTearAway programs all working hard with parents to get their child to sleep on their own in their bedroom.. I just don't want him to.

I personally don't like sleeping on my own and I love sleeping in a room with Dh & son. When I was single I did not like sleeping on my own and teddy would then serve the job of pretending to be a person.

Will wait until new baby is 2years old then older and younger child can then go together into their own bedroom. So they will have company in the night.

this sort of thing is normal in my family but in many families the children go into their own rooms when they are babies.

Son has no issues with confidence and being away from both parents and can happily stay with friends + nursery confidently.. so no attachment issues there.

Do other families work the same also?

I know of a few other friends that operate in this way also. And it has only been in the last few generations that we were able to afford to each have our own bedrooms and in lots of countries around the world it is quite normal for everyone to sleep with company.

Wow I can't believe all the negative replies you've had on this thread. You're quite right in that it's us British who are the 'weird' ones in forcing our children to sleep apart from us from an extremely early age. There's an obsession in this country stemming from Victorian times, that even the tiniest babies have to learn to be by themselves and 'independent'. Crying for your mum is thought to be 'clingy', despite all the evidence that shows that babies deprived of maternal comfort grow up with a lack of feeling for others. And then we wonder why our teenagers are the worst behaved in Europe!
My 3 year old son sleeps with me. He loves it and I love it. He's extremely independent and not remotely clingy. He goes to nursery full time and runs off without a backward glance when I drop him off. He'll continue to sleep with me until he chooses to sleep by himself. He already occasionally spends the whole night in his bed and tbh I'll be a bit sad when he no longer wraps his arms around my neck in his sleep.
The idea that forcing young children to be alone is going to make them independent is madness. We're social animals. Social animals do everything together, including sleep.

socks_uk

Sorry about this but do you plan on increasing your family after child no 2?

If the answer is yes, what will you do when your 3 year old wakes up while you are making or just practising baby 3? Or will you be refraining from such acts until baby no 2 and child no 1 are eventually in their own room. A 5 year old child should not witness it's parents making love.

My 'baby' is almost 19 years old now and I still worry she can hear my husband and I! Luckily she goes out with her friends a couple of times a week.

Becles

My eldest lasted 1 and half nights in our room. He made snuffly noises in his sleep (still does!), and I never dropped off to sleep because I was lying there thinking he was going to wake up in a minute. I slept better when he was in his own room as I couldn't hear the snuffly noises, but I could hear him when he woke crying for a feed. My youngest son went in a cot in his own room from day 1. He's a wriggler and I can't stand having him in my bed when he's ill, never mind all the time!

Be careful how long you keep the children in your room. My neighbours have a 10 year old girl who has always slept in their bed. Once she got bigger, the Dad moved out into the spare room, and the girl and her mother sleep together. Now she's starting to get to the age of sleepovers, but won't stay at anyone elses house as she doesn't want to sleep without her mother, and won't have people at their house in case they laugh at her for sleeping in her mothers bed.

I don't know what it's done for the marriage either, as I wouldn't be happy if my husband started sleeping in another room.

I know it's an extreme situation, but I thought it's better to tell you what can happen, so you can avoid getting into this situation in the future.

Red_Fraggle_3

There is nothing wrong with a night of getting on the bed together and reading a book or watching a movie before bed (me and DD did every Sunday night when she was smaller) sometimes we would fall asleep together and sometimes she would go to her room.

You both need your space - certinaly think the little one should have some space before the baby comes - or he may feel left out then baby comes along and makes 4 in a bed - give him somewhere he can be big bro - rather than in the same bed where he has to move up - like 10 in a bed.

Good luck

Red_Fraggle_3

There is nothing wrong with a night of getting on the bed together and reading a book or watching a movie before bed (me and DD did every Sunday night when she was smaller) sometimes we would fall asleep together and sometimes she would go to her room.

You both need your space - certinaly think the little one should have some space before the baby comes - or he may feel left out then baby comes along and makes 4 in a bed - give him somewhere he can be big bro - rather than in the same bed where he has to move up - like 10 in a bed.

Good luck

code-a-holic

My first old son slept in the marital bed until he was 2 and a half - not my plan, he wouldnt ever settle anywhere else! When our 2nd child arrived it was a few months before the first went in to his own room - he then slept the best he ever had and transformed - he needed the sleep! My 2nd son joined him in the 'boys room' at 6 mths old. He had never slept through the night in our room but as soon as the cot was in with his big brother he has been a perfect sleeper. He's 2 and a bit now and they are in bunk beds - both walk themselves to bed at 7 and are asleep 10 minutes later for the night - i think thats the result of good and regular bedtime habits. My 3rd - a girl is now 1 and a bit and has been in her own room since she was 6 mths old, she sleeps like an angel 7-8, unlike when she was in with her mum and dad.
From my experience being in their rooms has been great for them, they sleep better and it shows during the day. It is hard on the first night to part with them, its the first step of independance....but that has to happen some day, and i know from a lot of tears, its better sooner rather than later.

Red_Fraggle_3

There is nothing wrong with a night of getting on the bed together and reading a book or watching a movie before bed (me and DD did every Sunday night when she was smaller) sometimes we would fall asleep together and sometimes she would go to her room.

You both need your space - certinaly think the little one should have some space before the baby comes - or he may feel left out then baby comes along and makes 4 in a bed - give him somewhere he can be big bro - rather than in the same bed where he has to move up - like 10 in a bed.

Good luck

Red_Fraggle_3

There is nothing wrong with a night of getting on the bed together and reading a book or watching a movie before bed (me and DD did every Sunday night when she was smaller) sometimes we would fall asleep together and sometimes she would go to her room.

You both need your space - certinaly think the little one should have some space before the baby comes - or he may feel left out then baby comes along and makes 4 in a bed - give him somewhere he can be big bro - rather than in the same bed where he has to move up - like 10 in a bed.

Good luck

jamgirl

personally i wouldn't want my children in the same room as me but if you are all happy with the situation then who are we to say different?

the only question i would ask myself is for whos benefit is your son sleeping with you.
his or yours?
he may be perfectly happy to have a room to call his own