MSE Pregnancy Club 24

robyn297

Congrats to all those who've had babies since I last posted. and Good luck to all the boldies, hope you don't have to wait to much longer for your mummy cuddles.

We went for a 4D scan a few weeks ago, was amazing to see our little boy in so much detail, as with the 12 and 20 week scan he had himself in an awkward position. She suggested I go for a brisk walk and have a Walls Twister(she said she has had a lot of success with these as they high in sugar and cold so get baby moving, just in case anyone else wants to try it before a scan). The walk and the Twister woke him up but he still didn't want to "perform" so we going back in a few weeks for another scan.

Now time for my irritated pregnant woman rant :-) My grandmother has definate ideas on what is suitable for babies to wear, she's taken it on herself to get hold of as much "suitable" baby clothing as she can get her hands her on to make things easier for me. Another family member passed on all her baby clothes and my gran decided to go through it for me so as not to "overwhelm" me with the quantity(in other words, throw out anything that had a funny phrase/cartoon character on and jeans, etc) Babies should be dressed in white sleepsuits and hand knitted cardigans apparently. So I'm totally over run with baby clothes that I don't really like. I don't want to sound ungrateful but its driving me mad! She's now taken to stocking up on baby toys from the charity shops, again, not wanting to sound ungrateful, but I'd rather he have fewer new toys than be swamped with second hand toys that I have no idea where they've been.

My grandmother is also obsessed with my weight gain, I know I've put on weight since I fell pregnant, but its the last thing on my list of concerns at the moment, my midwife has no concerns with my weight, baby measuring right on average, so in my opinion nothing to worry about it. I was a size 12 before falling pregnant and am currently wearing size 14 maternity clothes as well as a lot of my old tops/tshirts. After every midwife appointment my gran phones me and the first thing she asks is if i've been weighed and whether the midwife thinks I've put on too much, she sounds very disappointed when I tell her midwife is not concerned and baby is average. I met a friend for lunch yesterday, hadn't seen her in a while and when I got home my gran phoned and asked what my friend thought of my weight and whether she had asked if I'd eaten all the pies!!

On a happier note we start our NHS classes tonight, anyone been to them? My midwife told my DH about them when I was sorting out a urine sample at my last appointment and he can't remember what she said. And he has the cheek to say I have baby brain ;-)

fluffnutter

oh robyn, I empathise. My MIL is a nutter about my pregnancy, not as bad to be fair because she's not giving me loads of stuff I don't want, but she's still a pain.

Is this just your grandmother's personality or has something about the baby brought out this side to her? If the latter, then perhaps she just really wants to be involved and is getting a little overexcited. If so, then she might be able to be 'encouraged' in the direction you want her to go in, say be asking her to buy you something specific but giving her a bit of free rein which allows her to indulge her own ideas.

Fact is, some things about babies stay the same for ever (they hurt coming out) but other things change from year to year. It's unlikely that a woman who's old enough to be your grandmother is going to understand the fashions and concerns of someone having a baby now. This is the main reason why my MIL spouts so much sh1te. Frankly, things were different nearly half a century ago, so when she tells me 'what's what', I really do have to take it with a pinch of salt.

If it's just her personality then there's not much you can do about it really. With the weight stuff, just laugh it off. Tell her you've put 9 stone on and change the subject. You don't have to answer her questions; you don't have to justify anything about this pregnancy to her. Just go 'mmm' a lot and start talking about something else. Be non-committal. There's no point having a row about things; you're never going to get her to see your point of few, she's doing what she thinks is best.

Re. the second hand toys.. if you don't want them, pass them back to the charity shops, safe in the knowledge that at least she didn't pay much for them. You could tell her you don't want them, but why bother hurting her feelings? Just let her get on with it, then do your own thing.

It's maddening isn't it? But for the sake of the baby, it's important to encourage these relationships. Just sometimes you've got to do it through gritted teeth

robyn297

Thanks Fluffnutter. She's always been obsessed with other peoples weight, not that she has any right to as she could do with losing a few pounds herself! I also think it may be due to the fact that I don't wear "suitable" maternity clothes, I'm happiest in jeans and fitted t-shirts whereas if she had her way I'd be wearing "smocks" like they did in her day to hide the bump. I'm proud of my bump. She borders on being a Hyacinth Bucket sometimes, always matches her handbag with her shoes and belt, etc and is very concerned about what others think, so much so that she takes M&S bags with her when she goes to charity shop/car boot so that the neighbours won't know where she's been.

I don't think that we can stop her buying stuff by giving her a specific item to buy as most of the stuff she buys is on impulse and because she "just couldn't resist".

I am very tempted to dress the little man like this for his first birthday just to see her face :rotfl:http://tattooclothing.ca/product_info.php?products_id=152http://

MissMonkeyMoo

LMM no, some maternity trousers are just a standard zip and fastening which surpised me too! I bought some mamas and papas ones off ebay, and was very surprised to find that there was no give in the waist whatsoever! had to stop wearing them a few weeks back but at least I didn't pay masses for them. mum bought me some topshop maternity trousers that she found in a charity shop for a quid - these are the ones I have on now and though they have standard fixings at the front that have elastic loops in the sides. Still not much extra give though! Not as bad as Isabella Oliver jeans though, got some of those of ebay and to be honest would have struggled to have got into them pre-pregnancy never mind now!

Fluffnutter (re your post to Kitten on gender 'change') I love your posts, you really do make me laugh!

Kitten great news on your scan, congrats!

Jovi wow, 23 days! That doesn't seem long at all does it? Lol.

Robyn you've def got my sympathies, but Fluffnutter has given you some good advice above. My gran is a complete nightmare and (don't judge me for this) I haven't been to see her since I got pregnant! We don;t have a good track record anyway - when i was growing up she used to be vile to me and make comments about my weight all the time. My sister and cousins were all very slim and I was the fat tomboy; she used to ask me what I had been eating and she also used to ask me if I was drinking lots of fluids (I think she had this theory that if I drank loads the fat would be flushed out of me). I was also bullied at school, so she sometimes used to go on abotu this to me as well. This went on for years from when I was about seven years old so you can understand why i had problems with body image growing up! When I was about sixteen, she told a load of lies about me to my cousins and their parents who were over for a visit; they were really stupid trivial lies but lies all the same. We had a big bust up over it and I didn't speak to her for six months. Although my Mum actually backed and supported me on this, it was hurtful to the family as a whole so I started talking to her again, but she has never dared set a foot out of line with me since! She knows that I won't put up with her shananigans so she plays it staright with me but with the rest of my family she is quite manipulatice still and tries to play them off against each other. Sorry, I've really digressed there! Didn't mean to give you my life story, but just know how maddening and thoughtless relatives can be! As for how you deal with your Gran that's a tricky one. It isn't worth a full blown argument and you could just grit your teeth and give away the clothes and toys, but you don't want the feelings of resentment to grow. I would try and talk to her about it, or could you Mum/Dad speak to her instead? As for the weight gain, as long as you are happy and baby is healthy then that is all that matters. I am going to sound awful now, but next time you see her I would get in first by putting on a shocked expression and asking her what SHE'S been eating recently! People rarely like a taste of their own medicine! x

robyn297

MissMonkeyMoo And I thought I had it bad with my Gran. :eek: My mums had to put up with the comments her whole life so knows what I'm going through, my mum lives in South Africa, which suits her just fine as she only has to have her weight analysed about once a year when she visits. My gran phoned my mum after my last visit to tell my mum just how much weight I'd put on and my mum told her that she's glad and relieved that I've put on weight as I hardly ate in my first trimester and had awful morning sickness. Not quite the reaction my Gran was looking for . I'm not sure whether its worth chatting to her about it, she lives over an hour away and DH works 6 days a week we only see her every 3 months or so. Will probably only see her once before the birth, so might just grit my teeth to keep the peace.

little_miss_moneysaver_3

Glad your scan went well Kitten there's going to be lots of potential MSE bfs for your LO
Robyn, it may be worth just gritting your teeth. Especially as you say you don't see her that often. Do you go to her or does she come to you? If she comes to you it may be worth keeping a couple of the toys to put on show and giving the rest back to the CS. I agree with MissMonkey, tell her she's put on a few pounds next time you see her. Like you said, there's more important things at this stage than worrying about the weight we've put on. I love that tattoo all in one too. DId you get any "nice" clothes from the other family member? Sounds like her heart is in the right place, maybe if your mum isn't in this country she feels she is trying to look after you and support you so to speak?
Jovi, that really doesn't sound like very long!! At least you can start planning for the dates now.
I'm being a good girl and actually typing some uni work up so just taking a break and having a nose. Studying makes me crave sugar, but think I've eten way too many choccy biscuits now as feeling quite sick think I'll do another 5 minutes of reading on here then back to work.
Hope everyone is having a good afternoon

fluffnutter

How often does your little wriggler get hiccups? Mine's forever twitching away - she's doing it right now. Feels like my mooer's pulsating. Have I just got a particularly gassy child? :eek:

fluffnutter

Serious question...

When you register a birth do you have to take your baby with you as proof? After all, there could be massive fraud opportunities in creating a completely fictitious person so surely they don't just take your word for it...?

rjh090384

Re hiccups: my daughter I had them all the time. Not so much with this wee man

Re births : when I went to register daughter they looked up on a computer system when we said what date she was born and what hospital. Unfortunately the hospital put the wrong day down so registrar couldn't find it. Sorted eventually tho

Hope everyone had a good day. I had a full day in Uni. Passed a clinical assessment which was good but with this pelvis pain I'm finding it very difficult to get comfortable when treating patients. Afternoon full of lectures from straight off clinic as we had a lunchtime one so been sitting on my bum all afternoon back ouch. Thinking of being naughty tonight. Fancy a dominos lol.

fluffnutter

rjh090384 wrote: »

Re hiccups: my daughter I had them all the time. Not so much with this wee man

Re births : when I went to register daughter they looked up on a computer system when we said what date she was born and what hospital. Unfortunately the hospital put the wrong day down so registrar couldn't find it. Sorted eventually tho

Hope everyone had a good day. I had a full day in Uni. Passed a clinical assessment which was good but with this pelvis pain I'm finding it very difficult to get comfortable when treating patients. Afternoon full of lectures from straight off clinic as we had a lunchtime one so been sitting on my bum all afternoon back ouch. Thinking of being naughty tonight. Fancy a dominos lol.

OK, so there's correlation between what you say and the hospital records. I guess also that if you have a home birth the midwife probably does some paperwork somewhere...

But what if no one attends the delivery? Unlikely I know but even so, can't be completely unheard of.