MSE Pregnancy Club 24

Rups32

i want to scream at times too and storm off, but i dont even have the energy to do that so when i am angry i just cry. lol. already am thinking of the washing up in the sink (after i had cleared up) and i dont want to go back home! think todays stress is making my side hurt.

little_miss_moneysaver_3

Rebekah it's probably better that your hv knows you've had past issues as they can offer extra support from the start. And also look for any signs you're struggling and try and prevent any depression from setting in. They asked me at my booking in with the midwife she asked if there'd been any referral to ss in my family I said no. But later I said to OH that was wrong, he should have known as my sister was in foster care for 4 years. Oh well! That's neither her nor there now. And you know your dad is not going to be a risk to your LO and I'm sure if you did you wouldn't put your baby in danger. Try not to worry yourself, if your open and honest then there's nothing to bite you on the @rse at a later date

Ikkle these boys. My OH will tell me he doesn't want me to make dinner if I'm in too much pain etc. which Is really sweet but He doesn't cook, he suggests takeaway instead lol! Any excuse for a kebab!

silly_moo

If I didn't cook my DH would just make fish fingers and chips - just about the only thing he can make apart from ready made meals. Luckily he does help with cooking, i.e. cuts up the meat, drains potatoes etc, whatever I ask him. I usually make dinners for 2 days so only need to cook every second day.

Some of you get really good pay packages - my work doesn't pay ANYTHING on top of SMP so money is going to be tight

RebekahR

Yea trying not to worry. The depression bit im ok with. Just the abuse issues didn't know if right or not to give them amo! So you might have done the right thing. Hey ho just have to be firm with them.

Need the sun to shine or the rain to dry up here! I got 1 load of laundry waiting to be put away, 1 on the line indoors, 1 wet waiting to come out the machine and 1 waiting to go in the machine. Please give me hot sun!!! ...

Kitten_Pie

My work also pays SMP only which I have been on and survived for the past year (ish) I am just trying to get out of them what will happen this time with regards to my holiday and SMP - apparently I am entitled to it but they haven't confirmed when it will start or when I am due back etc.

Getting a little worried that my pay will stop and we can't survive on nothing.

MissMonkeyMoo

Kitten/SillyMoo I am dreading the drop in pay and OH doesn't want me to go back to work afterwards at all! We've agreed to see how we go when baby is here before making any final decisions, but going from two wages to just one is v. scary. I did read about a woman the other day who was in the same situation and she became a frugal expert and has written a book on how she coped with it all and gives tips on how we can do the same - woll dig out the info tonight and post the details! X

LittleMoog

Kitten, while you've been on SMP your holiday should have accrued as normal plus any bank holidays - count up from when you started, and when you get to 39 weeks, that's how much SMP you get.

I think you should be able to officially "return to work" and take your full years holiday allowance and days in lieu for bank holidays (at normal pay), and then go back on maternity leave for this baby, starting a new period of SMP. The only other issue is your earnings during the "Qualifying Week" which are used to set your wage for the 6 weeks of 90% pay - if you were on SMP during this week (I think week 25?) you won't get 90% of your normal wage, just SMP instead.

Kitten_Pie

MissMoneyMoo, I recon if we seriously tightened our belts we could survive on my OH wage but this would mean no once a month takeaway no holidays (not that we have had one since the honeymoon which was a lastminute.com one anyway )

I am looking to work part time after mini_cub so that we have some spare cash that can be used for family holidays and treats etc. Possibly even night work so that we wouldn't have to get childcare. I used to work nights so think it could be an option. Even if it just goes into savings that would give us some buffer, not sure our savings will last long although we realised mini_cub fund should be at 3K when she arrives which isn't bad.

Kitten_Pie

LittleMoog wrote: »

Kitten, while you've been on SMP your holiday should have accrued as normal plus any bank holidays - count up from when you started, and when you get to 39 weeks, that's how much SMP you get.

I think you should be able to officially "return to work" and take your full years holiday allowance and days in lieu for bank holidays (at normal pay), and then go back on maternity leave for this baby, starting a new period of SMP. The only other issue is your earnings during the "Qualifying Week" which are used to set your wage for the 6 weeks of 90% pay - if you were on SMP during this week (I think week 25?) you won't get 90% of your normal wage, just SMP instead.

That is what I have worked out, with my holiday pay included in the qualifying weeks I will get more than I am currently getting, obviously not full pay but anything is good.

I just want it confirmed so that I can breathe a sigh of relief. I don't want to count on the extra money if we aren't going to get it but £1000 (ish) of holiday pay would be very nice in the savings pot.

little_miss_moneysaver_3

RebekahR wrote: »

Yea trying not to worry. The depression bit im ok with. Just the abuse issues didn't know if right or not to give them amo! So you might have done the right thing. Hey ho just have to be firm with them.

To be honest I completely forgot. I wasn't prepared for all the questions about my familys social history, it's just how it was. I mean we're talking about a complex situation that happened 12 years ago. My dad died 6 years ago, my mum lives 300 miles away and my sister has gone from monster troubled teen to being a good mum herself so the family dynamics are very different now.
I think what it is now, especially after horrific cases like Victoria Climbie there's a lot of safeguarding and identifying children who may be "at risk" and it's horrible to almost be suspected as a potential child abuser just because you had a bit of a rough time as a kid. But they're just doing their jobs.

Just had a major vomiting session, have felt ikky all day, think its the lack of sleep. Am tucked up in bed now hoping to have a nap to feel more human. I've got a wedding tomorrow so need to feel half decent.