Moving near the other woman...???

globetraveller

really pleased to hear the news about your youngest daughter!
Perhaps this may have some positive out of it( the non moving). You have come out of the denial that anything was still wrong and he has admitted he didn't want to move but didn't want to upset you. However, he can't continue like that. He knew moving was a bad idea and should have spoken to you about it. I can see why he did that but its not being truthful and its not good for either of you.
Now that the worst part of it is over( the shouting, accusing etc) you can try to think about the next stage- really talking together and being honest about feelings.
I really wish you well- but take things slowly and begin to build again what you had before. Good luck and I hope it all works out for you both.

kaylee*

I just want to add, I admire people who forgive their cheating partners.
I could never do it.
It would eat me up and I couldn't look at him without wanting to kill him


I'd rather be alone than take them back.

You are made of stronger stuff than me.

*Louise*

Oh thank goodness, I'm glad you have come to this decision, it really is all for the best - good luck for your future together

DVardysShadow

HomeMum wrote: »

The final decision was made in an instant, after leaving said house thursday evening, after another look around with the children, we got into the car which was facing towards the OW's end of the street. DH went to do a three point turn so as to exit the other way, i told him its fine, dont be silly. He then drove up the road, but there is a turning to the right before her house on the left, and he turned down there, and weaved way out of estate the longer way without saying a word. I sat there and had a lightbulb moment ....
he turned right so as to save me any upset. And we were planning on living there permanently. Not great. Not fair on either one of us, me nor him.

What interests me is that you would not have had this moment had you not been prepared to face down the issues and stop him doing the 3 point turn.

Bogof_Babe

kaylee* wrote: »

I just want to add, I admire people who forgive their cheating partners.
I could never do it.
It would eat me up and I couldn't look at him without wanting to kill him


I'd rather be alone than take them back.

You are made of stronger stuff than me.

It's different when you've been together for a very long time and you're knocking on a bit, plus having your finances and house all jointly owned. Not saying the OP and her husband are anywhere near as old as us, but you do have a lot of history to walk away from, and there is usually some love still there too, despite the big shock of an affair. It's hard work forgiving but it can be worth it.

HomeMum_2

I wanted to quickly update all the lovely caring "mse'ers" who were kind enough to give me advice and opinions on my original post.

We have now found a lovely property,actually so much lovlier than the one round the corner from the OW! It is in the complete opposite side of town, across the river so a good 6 miles away! On a private development of newly built (well 6 years old) homes, with just 12 HA homes of which my new home is one. It is a lovely area, with a real feel of community.

I am happy I took your advice, life is good, and i have a lot to look forward to :T
Would i have been happy with my original idea?? Well, now I shall never know, but neither do I need to know either!!

whitewing

What a lovely post, HomeMum, it is good that you are getting a new start in great surroundings.

Bogof_Babe

I couldn't be more pleased for you. Time to put the past trauma right where it belongs, in the dustbin, and move on to enjoying the rest of your life. Your new home sounds fab :T :beer: :j.

victory

HomeMum wrote: »

Would i have been happy with my original idea?? Well, now I shall never know, but neither do I need to know either!!

No you don't need to know and now you are so happy it is better to enjoy the moment now than look back:D

bugslet

I think that sounds great Home mum! Mine had a four month affair, ooo 6 years ago now. I'd still not like to have to meet the OW.

I think it makes life easier not to have to deal with feeling that you don't knw if you have or not.

Hope you are very happy in your new home.