Moving near the other woman...???

HomeMum_2

Seanymph wrote: »

but I feel that perhaps we are all hoping we have given her sufficient pause for thought....... and maybe she has reconsidered?

Well, thank you all so so much for your considered responses. It has helped TREMENDOUSLY. Whilst the decisiion was always mine alone to struggle with, the input from you all has really been comforting.

The final decision was made in an instant, after leaving said house thursday evening, after another look around with the children, we got into the car which was facing towards the OW's end of the street. DH went to do a three point turn so as to exit the other way, i told him its fine, dont be silly. He then drove up the road, but there is a turning to the right before her house on the left, and he turned down there, and weaved way out of estate the longer way without saying a word. I sat there and had a lightbulb moment ....
he turned right so as to save me any upset. And we were planning on living there permanently. Not great. Not fair on either one of us, me nor him. Nor children. As numerous posters far more sensible than me have pointed out

ALSO we had worked so so hard to move forward and put the affair behind us. We were proud of our achievements in this, and i feel this has put me back two steps for all my bravado. I now have to once again get the images to leave my head. Whereas, on the whole, they already had. So, for the sake of my marriage, and for my sanity (although that may have left the building years ago at child number 5's arrival lol :rotfl:) i told my husband i no longer wanted to move AT ALL, anywhere. And guess what? He admitted that he never had wanted to move, he simply wanted to make me happy, and would have done ANYTHING to ensure that i was.

So, long story, short ending. Staying put.

With thanks to you all xxxx

victory

I am so pleased, you have made the right decision, your sanity is important:j:D

moneypuddle

well done on coming to a decision. In my humble opinion, it was well informed and the right one

kelloggs36

HomeMum wrote: »

But it IS a lovely house ..............................

Yes but it is only a house and there will be others. Seriously, don't do it. Will moving improve your lives that much anyway? Keep away from her, out of sight, out of mind is what I think. If she is nearby then regardless of what hubby says, I would be worried that he would be tempted. Personally I would think long and hard about whether I wanted to move away from a home that I love just for a change (if you see what I mean). Otherwise, if you really do want to move, there will be other houses, but without the added stress.

kelloggs36

I missed the last post by the OP - OP you have made the right decision - well done! And good luck xxxx

Bogof_Babe

I was about to come back to this thread with a further thought - there's no need now but I'll say it anyway...

I got the impression that the whole reason for moving house was to make a fresh start post-affair, so it really would have been a no-brainer to risk moving closer to a reminder of all that happened. You seem to have coped remarkably well with getting over it without having made any lifestyle changes whatsoever, so there would have been very little point going through the upheaval of a move, in any direction.

If there was a question of whether your current house was big enough/in the right location/affordable for you then I could understand you considering a swap, but as you seem perfectly contented where you are, and have dealt with any affair demons already, why on earth bother?

So well done, I'm so pleased you have come to what most of us believe is the right decision. Here's to your future happiness. :T

bagby

I know if I saw her my stomach would turn and no matter how strong I felt on the outside would still feel that twist in my stomach - even years on never mind year so no I would not move closer to the woman.

peachyprice

I think you've 100% made the right decision, I hope it doesn't take too long to undo the hurt Thursday night caused, you KNOW you can feel better just be patient with yourself and more importantly honest with yourself, there are no prizes in life for 'putting on a brave face'.

((((((())))))

HomeMum_2

Im so touched by all your kind responses. Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart.

Onwards and upwards, 2012 WILL be my year, life will only get better. :beer: I have so much to be thankful for, my youngest daughter is in remission, my eldest daughter is now happily settled at uni, my other children are good, respectful, happy young people, I have a good, if quite poor (:o) life, (luckily i am of the opionion money does not make you happy - good job really as we honestly have very little ) a couple of lovely friends, and a relationship worth fighting for with a man I love despite his failings. He also loves me, perhaps he wasnt sure he did for a while, but as i have said previously, and meant, things DO happen in life, and they are not always good things, Its how we choose to deal with them that matters, that makes us who we are.

A great 2012 to you all xxx Thank you so much again.

yvonne13_2

OP, I am so glad you made the right choice for you and your family. xx