Moving near the other woman...???

victory

kazmc wrote: »

Hi OP,
Curious to know if you have you made a decision yet??

Me too and I agree with euronoris if it is to make yourself feel better, that she did not win, that you now have to prove a point that you are superior to her, or even if it is the old saying of keep your friends close and your enemies closer, is that not too much of a self destructive adrenalin dangerous high octane level to live off?

peachyprice

HomeMum wrote: »

it has made me decide that IF the chance to move is there, i am certainly not going to let one person (ie OW) dictate my future, ive had a crap past year, and am looking only forward. So to hell with the fact she lives around the corner, if i move into the house and look out the front door, i wont see her or her house. Nor out the back either. But you know, if i did? I would think, a sad lonely woman lives there with no respect for herself. And be glad its not me. I am stronger than that, the past year has proved it. So onwards and upwards people.....watch this space. I promise to update, and to those who will be concerned, thank you, but i do think i am going in with my eyes wide open. (anyway just think how awkward she WILL feel lol) And yes, if he was a fool enough to do it again, then i would rather be living in a nicer area on my own and they would definately have to move away :rotfl: But im joking, i trust him. Mistakes are made, by everyone. We are all only human. So im certainly not going to pass up an opportunity. :T

According to this post she's decided it a great idea.

Seanymph

but I feel that perhaps we are all hoping we have given her sufficient pause for thought....... and maybe she has reconsidered?

victory

Seanymph wrote: »

but I feel that perhaps we are all hoping we have given her sufficient pause for thought....... and maybe she has reconsidered?

I do hope so because if a positive and negative list was made the negative con list would be huge and the pro list not so big:D

peachyprice

I'd like to think so.

At least there's no guarantee that the person who loves in the house wants to exchange with her.

Bogof_Babe

peachyprice wrote: »

I'd like to think so.

At least there's no guarantee that the person who loves in the house wants to exchange with her.

Freudian typo? :rotfl:

We drove past the pub today where he took her for lunch on that fateful day when the penny finally dropped, and I had to grit my teeth and look the other way. Nearly two years ago and it still makes me cringe and feel angry. I can't imagine having to pass it (or even risk passing it) every day or week. Just being on that side of town (she lives a couple of miles further on) put me on stress mark 9!

peachyprice

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

Freudian typo? :rotfl:

Ooops! :rotfl:

Hanging_by_a_thread

I get the impression that the OP is trying to live life as if nothing happened. If the affair hadn't taken place, then a move to a nice house, near to good schools etc would be what they would be doing as a family.

If the affair hadn't happened it wouldn't matter a jot that this woman lived up the road. She wouldn't have any impact on their lives. All would be okay wherever they were.

It is like she is trying to make rash, inadvisable moves forward as if living in denial of what went on. If you discovered an affair and gave yourself time to face it, deal with it and decide what happens next you would be able to clearly see that moving down the road from the OW was a crazy idea.

I find it difficult to believe that after such a short time since discovering her husbands affair this poor lady is as okay as she says she is. It takes months if not years to get over and move on from a betrayal of that magnitude. Some people never do.

It comes across as if this lady is trying to put this all behind her before dealing with or addressing what happened. By doing this it is as if her husband didn't go behind her back for 4 months. To be able to say 'these things happen' over something like this suggests to me someone who is living in denial.

Cherry_Bomb

You're either insane or in complete denial.

That is all.

londoner01

Wow, I was really surprised to glance through this and see most people going for the "not even if hell freezes over" approach.
I would definitely consider it. And not for the house per se, but for the family that you imagine you could be in that house. If it ticks all your boxes and no other offer comes around that matches it, why not? The big decision was whether to take your husband back or not, and you've already taken it and you don't seem to have doubts over that. That means that you trust him again, and you trust that he will ignore that woman just as you and your kids will.
If you're still having doubts I would talk it over and over with your family, but I wouldn't say no in principle just for it. She's stopped having any bearing on your life seven months ago, and that should include influencing when you move.

Best of luck anyway!