Grrrr Problems with OH over DMP

emzig123

Hi Sea, I think I read earlier you are a teacher? If that is so, get on to your Union and see if they provide you with legal help or similar for things in your personal life. Worth checking out!

Good luck xxx

beanielou

DO NOT move out of house at the mo, whatever OH wants.
As to debt you are liabale as thinhs stand but as ZTD says this can be taken into account in any settlement.
Go to CAB ASAP , have a sickie if need be
Take care
Huggles
Lou x

Bunnyinthelights

Sea,
It sounds like a real mess and I can only offer my sympathy.
Look after you and the children, the BIG child can do as he has always done (by the sounds of it) and look after the most important person in HIS life-him.
My I ask how old the children are?
Be strong in front of the kids, but feel free to have a melt down to any of us...
Bunny (((hug)))

Alisonbel

Really sorry to read whats been happening, how is he going to look after the kids and work? Please don't leave the house until you've got some good legal advice, put yourself and the kids first.
I agree with the posts above I'm sure if theres a terrible atmosphere in house your better apart for the the kids sake then together.

Sea78

Bunnyinthelights wrote:

Sea,
It sounds like a real mess and I can only offer my sympathy.
Look after you and the children, the BIG child can do as he has always done (by the sounds of it) and look after the most important person in HIS life-him.
My I ask how old the children are?
Be strong in front of the kids, but feel free to have a melt down to any of us...
Bunny (((hug)))

My dd is 4 and ds is 18 months. I am feeling a bit numb now but thanks for all the support. I've contacted relate anyway, although the initial consultation is £40 :eek: I was thinking even if it's gone past the sorting out point, it might help us sort out what's happening with the house, kids etc.

On top of that I've got the Health Visitor coming soon to do a 'introduction' meet as I've just registered with the doc.

Btw, I was up at 7.20 ish with ds - OH didn't get up til 11.30. Am writing it all down but feel guilty now about it all.
OH says I'm a hormonal psycho. Am beginning to feel ike one. Maybe it is my fault, but it obviously can't continue like this.

Thanks again everyone. Makes me feel beter to know I have this board!

Am also going to have a nosey at the finanacial sites and see what kind of financial situation I'll be in!

Sea xx

hypno06

Have a go on the Entitledto website and put in some theoretical combinations to see what benefits you may be entitled to if you need to rent etc?

Good luck and stay strong x

PigginSkint

:grouphug: Big hugs to you - you have my utmost sympathy. This sounds so similar to my own previous situation!
Get yourself a good solicitor now! If you have children he cannot throw you out - you have to provide a home for your children and the best place for them is the one they live in now.
My ex decided he wanted the house, luckily I managed to make him see sense about that as he was in a position to buy another house whereas I certainly was not - I only just about earned enough to take on the existing mortgage.
I had very similar problems with my ex - a complete selfish pig! He could never see any reason for giving me any money, at all, for anything. I used to have milk delivered so that I would not be in a position of being stuck in the house with a very young child having run out of milk and having no money to go and buy any.
My story is a very long one so I won't bore you with it but this is just a snippet!!
He cannot make you leave and to keep you in the strongest position possible legally you must not.

Life does get better. I have now been with my lovely OH for 4 years. We may be very very skint but we are very very happy!

Bunnyinthelights

Sea,
My DS is 20 months and weighed in at 10lbs 1.5 oz (ouch) I had SPD with him but luckily, I've been loads better-time does amazing things! DD is 4 as well! Spooky.
I'm going to be bold again-if there were no children involved, would you want to be with your hubby? Do you like him? Do you respect him? I always try to think of my relationship and what I am teaching my children...perhaps the £40 towards Relate could be better spent elsewhere....
(tell me to shove off if you want!)
Bunny
ps
Have you spoken to a Dr about PND? I had it after DD and it was hell-my husband couldn't understand it-but then, neither could I!
PM me if you want to ask any questions hunny x

Littlemiss-lotsofdebt

Hi Sea

I've just caught up with this thread and am so gutted for you. It sounds like you're having a real time of it at the moment ((((hugs))).

I think the other posters have offered some really good advice and it would be a good idea to see maybe the CAB when you're feeling up to it.

Don't be bullied into anything, you're obviously working your socks off to run the house, look after the children and cope with a demanding, selfish OH.

Best of luck and keep posting xxx

Sea78

Bunnyinthelights wrote:

Sea,
My DS is 20 months and weighed in at 10lbs 1.5 oz (ouch) I had SPD with him but luckily, I've been loads better-time does amazing things! DD is 4 as well! Spooky.
I'm going to be bold again-if there were no children involved, would you want to be with your hubby? Do you like him? Do you respect him? I always try to think of my relationship and what I am teaching my children...perhaps the £40 towards Relate could be better spent elsewhere....
(tell me to shove off if you want!)
Bunny
ps
Have you spoken to a Dr about PND? I had it after DD and it was hell-my husband couldn't understand it-but then, neither could I!
PM me if you want to ask any questions hunny x

No, we wouldn't be together if not for the children. We have both said this in the past. He is currently thinking over the options - the pros and cons of each one. He's at his mums now. Not sure when he'll be back. I think he's a little shocked as he expected me to apologise and crawl to him, rather than say let's call it a day.

Until he actually talks I can't do much really.

I don't think I have PND - I have no issues about anything apart from him!! He often shouts for me to go to the doctors as I'm obviously mad.

I am painting him in a really bad light, and he obviously isn't that bad or I would have gone a long time ago, but he's not that great either.

Sea xx