Grrrr Problems with OH over DMP

Bunnyinthelights

Sea,
I just wanted to mention that you shouldn't give any of your creditors ANY money other than what is going via your DMP-if they see you doing this, they will continue to ask for more and it will be unfair to other creditors-also, they will think your budget isn't correct and will hassel you for more. You will get charges at first BUT it will go down eventually. (I'm a year into my DMP)
I suffer from sciatia and I find sleeping with a pillow between my knees really helps.
As for the kids getting out-it doesn't cost anything to go to the park and they will enjoy it just as much as something that costs! As long as you are spending time with them, they will be happy.
Bunny
Keep up the good work!

firesidemaid

again, similar alcohol issues with OH:mad:

sea, i don't know whether you + your OH have any other pocket money? i would def. agree with other poster re: taking money for xbox out of drink/pocket money. i know it is difficult, but try stand your ground. if he knows you mean it hopefully eventually he'll stop asking. if you all had that amount each for 'extras' it wouldn't work - so let him know how lucky he is.

other thing could be - what he sells of his on ebay he can keep?

i know it's difficult x

Sea78

hi

To be honest I'm a bit lost when it comes to the DMP. I sent letters to all my creditors nearly 2 weeks ago and have heard nothing. CCCS said they'd sort it all and only to contact them if a debt was sent to a collection agency so they knew who to pay. I am not going to make much from ebay (got 69 things listed, 17 selling but after fees, only about £7 profit so far, hardly going to clear debt!) but I just wanted to be proactive. I'll set up another savings pot for income then that OH doesn't know about for this type of money and then if/when it's a decent amount offer to a creditor? I have such large amounts I'm getting disheartened.

Thanks for the advice though - I was just going to include it in the amount I sent to CCCS. Have to send my first payment on 1st March.

Sea xx

Alisonbel

Bunnyinthelights wrote:

Sea,
I just wanted to mention that you shouldn't give any of your creditors ANY money other than what is going via your DMP-if they see you doing this, they will continue to ask for more and it will be unfair to other creditors-also, they will think your budget isn't correct and will hassel you for more. You will get charges at first BUT it will go down eventually. (I'm a year into my DMP)
I suffer from sciatia and I find sleeping with a pillow between my knees really helps.
As for the kids getting out-it doesn't cost anything to go to the park and they will enjoy it just as much as something that costs! As long as you are spending time with them, they will be happy.
Bunny
Keep up the good work!

I had that trouble with DMP, OH was being hassled by Halifax so gave them extra money to get rid of them (ARRGGHHH) but it had opposite effect kept ringing and asking for more. Had to admit to CCCS what he'd done and they said if it happened again they could close down DMP as unfair to others.

SEA are all you creditors on DMP or are you trying to pay back others to?

I've been doing free things with the kids for weeks now, the kids love taking bikes to park etc,I may even lose some weight you never know?!?!?! Our local cinema does kids cinema on a Saturday and Sunday kids are a pound each and adults free, just take your own snacks.
But oh how much could I murder a Mcdonalds? I don't even like them that much.

Sea78

All on the DMP now. but I like to talk things over A LOT and OH doesn't and CCCS is obviously really busy, so I think I'll be on the board more than ever

My mum has paid for the kids to do various things now (tumble tots and dance) but with my back being agony, they've not gone out as OH doesn't really do that kind of thing and I can't at the mo duing to being unable to walk!

Sea xx

ps I'm in north west Lancashire....long way from lovely london.

margaretclare

Hi all

2 thoughts really - apart from a lot of sympathy and big hugs:

One - when you had that huge ten-pound baby, did someone put your legs up in the air to do stitching, and then be a bit careless about how your legs came down again? It's ESSENTIAL to be careful about bringing legs down, must be both together not one at a time, that could be the start of that 'rotated pelvis' and/or back strain you suffered.

Two - what the heck is an X-box, why does it need a subscription and why is it so essential (I don't even know what one is, and I live a full and happy life!)

DH and I watched 'Shrek' last evening on BBC1 and we enjoyed it so much.

Best wishes

Margaret

Sea78

margaretclare wrote:

Hi all

2 thoughts really - apart from a lot of sympathy and big hugs:

One - when you had that huge ten-pound baby, did someone put your legs up in the air to do stitching, and then be a bit careless about how your legs came down again? It's ESSENTIAL to be careful about bringing legs down, must be both together not one at a time, that could be the start of that 'rotated pelvis' and/or back strain you suffered.

Hi
No idea - off my head on the gas and air - legs in stirrups and I was shaking so badly I don't know! Don't think they were together, but couldn't be sure. I am going back to dr on monday to get referred after all the replies on this thread. Just not good enough!

margaretclare wrote:

Two - what the heck is an X-box, why does it need a subscription and why is it so essential (I don't even know what one is, and I live a full and happy life!)

DH and I watched 'Shrek' last evening on BBC1 and we enjoyed it so much.

Best wishes

Margaret

We LOVE shrek in this house -I thik it must have been watched 100s of times. DD is very into films and likes to watch them (so I might look into those £1 cinema things as well) and Shrek is one of those kids films that's for adults too so we can all enjoy it.
OH has an Xbo360 - games console- ad one of the features is being able to link it up to thebroadband and play/chat with others. But cost £40 for the priviledge. He's off sick (into the 3rd month) so can't do overtime to pay for it at the mo, which is what I would have suggested. Howeverm I have a feeling any overtime money will be spent on him going out etc. or other 'necessities' for him.

Thanks

Sea xx

mh1923

Why do we pick men like this and then stay with them so long? I put up with my x treating his marijuana spending as if it was as important as the rent. I was married to him for nearly ten years before I came to my senses, and now I'm with a wonderful SENSIBLE man who would never dream of spending money on himself if I was in pain!

Not saying that you should leave him, as no one could give that kind of advice based on a short forum post, but he is certainly being self-absorbed about wanting his pleasures regardless of the needs of the family.

Sea78

Well, unfortunately things have gone really badly today, ending up with a huge row and now he's staying at his mum's tonight. A lot of things were said, very hurtful things and I'm not sure what's going to happen now. I know if it weren't for the children & financial situation we wouldn't have made it past the first 2 years. But now there are the kids to consider which is the most important thing to me, as I'm sure it is to most people.
I've been 'warned' not to get on the wrong side of his family during a very nasty divorce between his sister and her husband. Said in jest but with serious undertone.

Am feeling quite shocking now, am just cooking the kids tea and trying to keep it together, longing for their bedtime so I can have a cry and a glass of wine!

Sea78

oh and he told me not to ebay anymore of 'his' stuff, hmm...