Grrrr Problems with OH over DMP

Sea78

kent_lady wrote: »

And I am completely with you on the "not knowing if I'm bothered now" feeling as my best friend is in the same place - OH making an effort after more than 2 years of not bothering and she's passed the point of no return now. Not saying that you have too - but it's clear that you feel SO much stronger, I can't tell you how much I cheered when I read your post !!!:T

You have found that strength - just as so many posters on here have said you would - well done! Keep it up and remember you are in control now - if he wants to stay with his family then he has to make an effort to be the kind of father and OH that you and your kids need.
xxxx

Hi

Thanks - it's nice to know that the 'not bothered' feelings are normal and that others get them! I don't know if I have passed that point - we'll see how fast the counselling comes and what happens in the meantime. I am sceptical about whether he can stop the drinking at home after so long and without any outside help.
We'll see...

Sea xxx

hypno06

Hi Sea, what a really positive post from you this morning. As others have said, it is your strength that shines through - you found this when it was needed and it got through to OH. What's more you stuck with this strength, showing that it was not just a flash in the pan. You have proved yourself over these past few weeks and that will be invaluable from now on.

I truly hope that things work out, but keep that strength with you - don't brush it to one side, because as soon as you show any sign of allowing old habits back in, they are bound to take over again.

Keep going, and stay strong x

1_step_closer

WELL DONE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fantastic, whatever you decide to do in the future, will come from strength and courage and your own belief. All the best!

Sea78

Thanks

Well, he lasted 3 days but then tonight came back with beer - he'd had a long hard stressful day. Well. I guess it was a start and we'll see what happens.

I am thinking more and more that it is too late as I just don't know if there's anything there anymore, if you know what I mean? I am still up and down emotions wise and so it's difficult to really know.

He doesn't really see the problem in drinking every so often and didn't go out tonight despite all his mates going out. I'm having a cheap pamper night with a friend at her house on Sat night - making our own 'take out' (will be looking on OS board later) which will be cheaper and also be on my diet!! Also enjoying a little drink and watching Eurovision!! I told him, rather than the usual, will this be ok attitude.

Sea xxx

1_step_closer

He really has no idea!!!!! Better off out of it love, in my opinion.

Enjoy Sat night! We are out to friends for a Eurovision evening.............don't really want to go but said I would.

Sea78

hi all,

not much to report. I've been good on th emoney front though, menu planning for the week and checking that I still have enough money for everything.

Apparently I'm not making enough effort!! :rolleyes: I'm getting tired now - then today he's asking if we should go to London for a long weekend (staying with friends & family though so free when there). Arghhhhhhhh

So now I'm planning a (not very DFW) night out with school this friday. My dad gave me a little money so I'll be using that to pay for it He told me not to use it for family or debt!!

Hope all are well.

Sea xxx

jinky67

Hi sea
How are things now?
Havent heard anything for a while.
Hope you are ok

Sea78

jinky67 wrote: »

Hi sea
How are things now?
Havent heard anything for a while.
Hope you are ok

Hi

Started a debt diary and just let this go really - currently trying to work it all out. However, things haven't really changed and the huge transformation that was promised hasn't occured.

He's still drinking, although has 2 nights off a week now which is much better, but hasn't made it up to my mum, who he was awful to. Seems to think there is no need.

Also we've been having 'discussions' over the kids surnames - I asked him to consider putting my surname on with his for their surnames (currently just have his and mine a sa middle name). I am not meaning that we HAVE to but now it's let loose a stream of abuse of my family and how stupid it would be. I think it would be quite nice actually!

Anyhoo, enough of the moaning, I was hoping things were changing but I don't know. He was meant to be arranging us marriage guidance through his work but this hasn't materialised.

Thanks for asking

Sea xxx

Sea78

:spam: Don't click on this - could someone report it though as I can't.

Thanks

xx

cindymacherie wrote: »

http://www.pink-martini.org/missions/bannieres/fr/Banniere_468.swf?oc=1|2|7|1|7070617|1q5I0e5licY2VpbrMeOJ7Lhf6Vu5L

SarahNeedle1872

Sea78 wrote: »

:spam: Don't click on this - could someone report it though as I can't.

Thanks

xx

Just done it for you

Sarah x