Opinions....Don't know what to do!

aliasojo

Make-it-3 wrote: »

Sounds like she has already decided she doesn't want to go for whatever reason. I do however think that she will have a lot of explaining to do if she goes to the same place a few months later to celebrate her 40th.

Depending on when in May the wedding is, it could be anything from only 4 - 8 weeks later. Just seems too close imo.

balletshoes

Person_one wrote: »

Why is it perfectly ok for the sister to have a wedding that she knows the OP can't attend yet the OP is 'not very nice' for booking her own holiday now that her finances have changed?

The sister created the situation, you can't have your wedding in a location that costs 2.5k to get to and then complain that people don't make it their number one priority!

The sister has already sent a clear message that having her glam wedding in the sun is more important than having her sister there, OP is just going with the status quo if you ask me.

normally I'd agree with you - but as the OP originally said it was the cost that was the problem with attending, and now she does have money to go abroad on holiday (to the same country her sister is getting married in), then I don't understand why she wouldn't want to at least look into finding a holiday near to the same resort, to go to her sisters wedding? Unless the cost isn't the real reason, and she was using that as an excuse?

RadoJo

I will add my voice to those who think your plan is reasonable - not wanting to shell out 2.5 grand to watch someone get married at a time and place of their choice is fair enough under any circumstances, but especially if money was tight when the plans were first made. And although you are going to the same country, there could be a WORLD of difference between the holiday the OP has planned and that which they would get if they attended their sister's wedding.
I agree that people who choose to marry abroad run the risk of people not being able to afford to attend, and if those circumstance have changed then she should be pleased for you rather than expecting you to now fork out even more to attend her wedding.

claire16c

OP - yes I think your sister has the right to be upset with you if you book your hol to Turkey just a few weeks after her wedding. If you really wanted to be at the wedding you would just make your hol earlier - and in May its likely to be cheaper anyway - July is the most expensive time to go away so seems odd you would pick then if youre trying to save money- especially if your birthday is in Sept? Going then at least going then would tie in with that - why are you going on July if youre not even 40 yet if its for your 40th? Also, I would personally avoid Turkey like the plague in July, the temperatures will be unbearable, we once went in May and it was 35-40C then.

Why not just do what people have suggested and just move your hol a few weeks earlier? I dont see why you cant just stay in a cheaper hotel - just because someone gets married abroad doesnt mean you have to stay in the same place as them?! You have the same hol as you had planned - you just spent 1 day out of the 7 at her wedding.

Saying you found a last minute bargain will just sound like a lie - and it would be a lie anyway. Gone are the days of booking hols the day before and paying 2p for them. You can find bargains all year round.

Are you sure its more that you just dont want to go to your sisters wedding wherever it is?

balletshoes

RadoJo wrote: »

I will add my voice to those who think your plan is reasonable - not wanting to shell out 2.5 grand to watch someone get married at a time and place of their choice is fair enough under any circumstances, but especially if money was tight when the plans were first made. And although you are going to the same country, there could be a WORLD of difference between the holiday the OP has planned and that which they would get if they attended their sister's wedding.
I agree that people who choose to marry abroad run the risk of people not being able to afford to attend, and if those circumstance have changed then she should be pleased for you rather than expecting you to now fork out even more to attend her wedding.

from what the OP has said, I don't think she's really looked into cheaper alternatives - she's only looked at the specific holiday hotel and dates etc that the rest of her family and sister are going to. If she found a suitable lovely hotel in her budget nearby in May, she could presumably have exactly the holiday she was planning on, just in May (more bearable weather in Turkey then than in July) with the addition of being able to attend her sister's wedding on the day of the nuptuals.

claire16c

EdgEy wrote: »

Holidays are one of the few things in this world that really perplex me. I can't believe otherwise rational people spend such inordinate amounts of money for a bit of sunshine and some naff tourist resort.

You clearly just havent been on a good one

although I have to say I wont be going back to Turkey again, not the part we went to anyway. There are much nicer places in the world. Unless my sis was getting married there of course lol

Person_one

The OP has a son, its entirely likely she can only go away in school holidays anyway.

peachyprice

Except she's planning on going away for 10 days at the beginning of July. Schools don't break up until 20th.

Running_Horse

Am I the only one who thinks it totally unreasonable to get married abroad and expect other to pay thousands of pounds to be there?

peachyprice

Running_Horse wrote: »

Am I the only one who thinks it totally unreasonable to get married abroad and expect other to pay thousands of pounds to be there?

No, not at all. I wouldn't spend £1000's going to someone's wedding.

But I just don't understand why anyone would want to rub their sisters nose is it by not going to their wedding, then going to the same country 8-10 weeks later at a more expensive time, it seems unnecessarily spiteful to me when there's a whole world out there to go to.