Opinions....Don't know what to do!

*Louise*

Tbh it sounds like you're just looking for excuses or for people on here to make you feel better.


I wouldn't spend 2.5k going to someone's wedding either (even if I could afford it) but if I was going on a cheaper holiday anyway to that area, it is a bit off not to make the effort to at least try and move the dates a bit to see your sister get married.

Wedding = 1 day of the holiday
That leaves 7 days left over (2 for travelling) for celebrating your 40th and doing things you want to do with your family.

I would certainly be pricing a nearby hotel for May before even contemplating the July trip.

Spendless

I've been in a similar position only I was the bride. It narked me beyond belief that the close relative that said they couldn't afford to go (though they'd said they could afford it when we 1st put it to them) was then making noises about going on a different holiday instead! As for why we chose to get married abroad, we had initially booked a wedding in this country, only I was pregnant and we'd booked a day round the suitability of the year old we thought we'd have, when we lost him in tragic circs in pregnancy we didn't want any reminders of the day we'd thought we would have. In my case the relative didn't go on either hol or to wedding.

Initially I thought the hol in July incorporated your actual birthday so I could sort of see that perhaps you had a small point, but re-reading your post your birthday isn't until September so no reason why you can't mark your birthday with a May hol rather than a July one. As said I'd look into cheaper options than the hotel where the couple are getting wed.

January20

Sometimes, I really wonder if this is a money saving forum!

2.5k to go and see your sister getting married abroad? You're joking aren't you? If your sister really wanted all her family at her wedding, why didn't she decide to get married in the UK. I'm sorry but people who choose to get married abroad in expensive resorts and locations have to accept that not all their friends and family are going to be able to go too!

Are you spending 2.5 k on the family holiday in July? If not, then it's a no brainer isn't it?

As B&T said, the best thing to do is to keep quiet for the moment - also that will not make your sister feel bitter on her wedding day - and just tell people nearer the time of the holiday. Even if you have to say it's was a last minute deal, etc.

msb5262

I still don't really understand why people choose to get married abroad if they want family and friends to attend - it often costs less for the bride and groom, but invariably seems to cost a fortune to their guests! Also it means they are effectively dictating how all their friends and family spend their holiday budget for that year...where and when they go...I can't get my head round it. (The other bit I find odd is that often, weddings abroad mean that your honeymoon is spent with family and friends en masse - most odd!)

Person_one

Spendless wrote: »

I've been in a similar position only I was the bride. It narked me beyond belief that the close relative that said they couldn't afford to go (though they'd said they could afford it when we 1st put it to them) was then making noises about going on a different holiday instead! As for why we chose to get married abroad, we had initially booked a wedding in this country, only I was pregnant and we'd booked a day round the suitability of the year old we thought we'd have, when we lost him in tragic circs in pregnancy we didn't want any reminders of the day we'd thought we would have. In my case the relative didn't go on either hol or to wedding.

Initially I thought the hol in July incorporated your actual birthday so I could sort of see that perhaps you had a small point, but re-reading your post your birthday isn't until September so no reason why you can't mark your birthday with a May hol rather than a July one. As said I'd look into cheaper options than the hotel where the couple are getting wed.

The thing about weddings abroad is that it isn't really a holiday for the guests in most cases. You don't get to choose the date, or the destination, you have commitments to keep and you have to spend the time with people you might not want to be on holiday with!

I see no contradiction between not wanting to shell out for a wedding abroad but still wanting to go on holiday the same year.

aliasojo

joanne0620 wrote: »

Any thoughts? x

Yup. What you are proposing to do is not very nice (imo) and you shouldn't be surprised if this has a longer lasting fallout/effect than you are anticipating.

If you go, then for goodness sake keep it quiet and do as others have suggested about touting it as a last minute good deal that came up unexpectedly.

Person_one

aliasojo wrote: »

Yup. What you are proposing to do is not very nice (imo) and you shouldn't be surprised if this has a longer lasting fallout/effect than you are anticipating.

If you go, then for goodness sake keep it quiet and do as others have suggested about touting it as a last minute good deal that came up unexpectedly.

Why is it perfectly ok for the sister to have a wedding that she knows the OP can't attend yet the OP is 'not very nice' for booking her own holiday now that her finances have changed?

The sister created the situation, you can't have your wedding in a location that costs 2.5k to get to and then complain that people don't make it their number one priority!

The sister has already sent a clear message that having her glam wedding in the sun is more important than having her sister there, OP is just going with the status quo if you ask me.

Spendless

Person_one wrote: »

The thing about weddings abroad is that it isn't really a holiday for the guests in most cases. You don't get to choose the date, or the destination, you have commitments to keep and you have to spend the time with people you might not want to be on holiday with!

I see no contradiction between not wanting to shell out for a wedding abroad but still wanting to go on holiday the same year.

I don't see why it shouldn't be. Other than the actual wedding day and maybe a get together just prior there's no reason why the OP shouldn't do their own thing. They've already pointed out they wouldn't be able to stay in the same hotel, and the destination is the same as the one they are contemplating going on. They don't even have to arrive and depart on the same days as long as they're there when the couple wed.

Person_one

Spendless wrote: »

I don't see why it shouldn't be. Other than the actual wedding day and maybe a get together just prior there's no reason why the OP shouldn't do their own thing. They've already pointed out they wouldn't be able to stay in the same hotel, and the destination is the same as the one they are contemplating going on. They don't even have to arrive and depart on the same days as long as they're there when the couple wed.

I was talking more generally.

Make-it-3

I'm sure the OP could have thought for herself about staying somewhere else and still going to her sister's wedding now things are financially better.

Sounds like she has already decided she doesn't want to go for whatever reason. I do however think that she will have a lot of explaining to do if she goes to the same place a few months later to celebrate her 40th.