Opinions....Don't know what to do!

krlyr

meritaten wrote: »

but it could be seen as a slap in the face if you holiday in Turkey at the same time as the wedding. either go elsewhere or go another time if you can.

OP said the holiday would be in July and the wedding in May.

Why not speak to your sister, tell her that your new job means you can afford a holiday later this year but it's a holiday at a fraction of the price of her wedding trip, and you wanted to let her know so that she didn't think your excuse was a fake one to avoid her wedding. Communication is the key, tell her the truth and if she decides not to believe you then it's her problem.

fannyanna

If you were my sister and went ahead with what you're planning I'd be very upset. Thankfully my sister would never do that to me and I'd never do that to her.

aneres

I'm getting married in Crete in September and there are quite a few people not staying in our hotel. I will have to pay more for them to come in to our hotel for the day but the way I see it is they have travelled all that way to see us get married then paying for them to come in to the hotel is a small price to pay.

Ames

Surely your sister knows that things have changed, and isn't going to be daft enough to think that having a job now meant that you had money months ago?

Although I agree that going to the same place a couple of months later is a bit off. Surely there are other places you can go on holiday instead?

rachbc

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

sister's (second and much less important imo) wedding

Ouch! Thats a bit harsh...

However I agree with those saying go at the same time as the wedding but to a different hotel

peachyprice

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Why tell anyone about your plans ahead of time? If you can't afford to go to Turkey for your sister's (second and much less important imo) wedding then just don't go.

But she can afford to go to Turkey, she just couldn't at the time the wedding was booked, and is now planning to to Turkey at a much more expensive time. I can see why questions will be asked and why her sister will be miffed.

faerie~spangles

a) You couldn't afford to go when your sister announced her plans.

b) You can now afford to go as you financial circumstances have changed.


y) However as the wedding is in May will you be able to get the time off?

z) Are you willing to pull your son out of school in order to go to the wedding?

If the answers to y and z are no then your sister / family are being unreasonable in expecting you to attend.

balletshoes

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Why tell anyone about your plans ahead of time? If you can't afford to go to Turkey for your sister's (second and much less important imo) wedding then just don't go. For all anyone knows you could have found a last-minute deal for £100 a head or got a bonus from work in June. Tell no-one. Why should you have to explain? You've explained why you can't go to Turkey already so why feel that you have to explain all over again?

the only way I can see that working is if the OP and her husband and son manage to keep quiet about their holiday to Turkey until after her sister has got married - then they can say they got a great deal for July. Otherwise, considering cost was the reason the OP gave to her sister in the first place for not being able to attend her wedding, I think it could cause a family falling-out over it.

The only other thing I'd add OP is - how do you feel about missing your sister's wedding, when you now presumably do have the opportunity to go (even if you're not all at the same hotel)? I'd really want to be there (presuming you get on with your sister and the rest of your family) and I wouldn't want to miss it, if I could now afford to go.

kendalls_cave

If I was your sister I'd be really pee'd off tbh. Why can't you stay somewhere different and cheeper and have a holiday around the time of the wedding? So you get a family holiday and to go to the wedding?

It's just not worth a family fued that could go on for years.. believe me I know

VfM4meplse

Feel no guilt. You're 40th only comes round once in a lifetime, and this is your sister's second marriage. Your blessings don't need to cost you anything financially, nor your peace of mind.