Nice people thread part 5 - nicely does it

PasturesNew

I am in "packing avoidance mode" .... I keep putting it off, putting it off.... and stuff I was supposed to sell/get rid of 5 months ago has never happened. I did try to sell one item this week though - not a sniff, no takers. Looks like the charity shop might end up with some goodies.

GDB2222

PasturesNew wrote: »

I am in "packing avoidance mode" .... I keep putting it off, putting it off.... and stuff I was supposed to sell/get rid of 5 months ago has never happened. I did try to sell one item this week though - not a sniff, no takers. Looks like the charity shop might end up with some goodies.

Come on, what do you have that can be packaged up and posted? It's probably against forum rules, but the mods may make an exception if you list a few items with prices on this thread.

LydiaJ

GDB2222 wrote: »

I have not read the particular thread you are talking about, but people with autism have their ups and downs. Anxiety can be a particular issue. I know a young man who was able to complete a university course, but was totally unable to find a job. Indeed, he ended up in hospital for over a year because of the anxiety issues. So, based on the little I know about autism, I think it is possible that the woman you are quoting is telling you the truth about her husband, even though it seems implausible from your point of view.

As far as her going out to work is concerned, that is surely a financial issue? For anyone without decent work skills, childcare is going to cost as much as she can earn (or more). Did she say whether her husband could provide childcare?

I know this all seems like a complete insult to you, as you have overcome greater difficulties. However, you are highly skilled and exceptionally well adjusted.

Her main issue with childcare is that she cannot bear the thought of leaving her babies. I sympathise with that. Lots of women feel that way. But she did choose to get pregnant by a man that she considers unable either to work or to look after the children, and that probably means she can't have the luxury of choosing not to work.

Yes, childcare would be expensive, but if she worked 16+ hours a week, she'd get 70% of it paid for by tax credits, plus extra tax credit money, unless her income was high enough for her not to qualify - in which case she'd be able to afford the childcare anyway. She says her husband is not capable of looking after the children, and I assume she's right about that.

It may well be that her husband is not able to work. She is putting everyone's backs up, though, by insisting that the DWP should continue to pay sick benefits to him on the basis of her assertion that he's permanently unable to work, and that it is an outrageous infringement of her rights for anyone to make any attempt to explore whether he might be able to be helped to cope with life better, and eventually to do some form of work that might be be within his capabilities.

Read the thread and compare her attitude with Sue's and you'll see what I mean.

It's kind of you to say that I'm highly skilled and well adjusted (:)) but, no, I didn't find your post insulting. I've never had to deal with ASDs, and I have the utmost respect for those who do - Sue, Pastures, Zag, and various RL friends of mine.

LydiaJ

PasturesNew wrote: »

The workplace can be a very difficult place.... and full of annoying idiots, incomplete instructionss ....

I find I am often asked to do stuff I am not able to do - and not given the resources to do it ... yet still expected to. This puts your head in a spin.

e.g. I was once employed as a project manager - and the first task was to research the marketplace and make a recommendation to the Board and do a full presentation to the Board to advise how to proceed.

Researching the marketplace, in an industry I didn't know at all was difficult enough - but presenting (and making a presentation) to the Board, with my recommendations, in my opinion was bad business practice. I was, effectively, being asked to determine the company's direction and platform for delivery.

Heck - I wanted to project manage, not be the Business & Technology Development Director of an international business in an industry I didn't know and had no experience in!

So - although I managed it, it was very stressful as I didn't have the confidence in my choices and had no basis on which to form my opinions, opinions which were taken as gospel because I'd made a presentation.

There was nobody looking at what I did, advising, conferring.... I researched and presented my findings. And it was done.

I don't like "final responsibility". I like to manage a project that's been chosen from somebody else's decisions.

I deliver on time, on budget.... their decision. I advise of risks and issues. I document projects and communicate.

I don't do decision making!!

Sure, there are things you can't do. If it comes to that, there are things I can't do, and wouldn't want to have a job that required me to do. But you are not like this woman or her husband, Pastures. You know that there are things that you can do, and you find ways of doing them that enable you to earn some money - at least you do when your family circumstances aren't preventing you. You do not sit about demanding that the world owes you a living.

GDB2222 wrote: »

Come on, what do you have that can be packaged up and posted? It's probably against forum rules, but the mods may make an exception if you list a few items with prices on this thread.

Or if not here, then "elsewhere".

sss555s

LydiaJ wrote: »

Finding a solution to this requires some out of the box thinking. Can the combined creativity of all the NP come up with anything?

It always comes down to the income's V's the outgoings. If the income's aren't going to change much then the best thing to look at is the outgoings (costs).

My example is when I converted my loft. I had a few quotes between 70k-80k + vat and with me using my own man to do all the electrics and supplying the bathroom items.
In the end I found a good Joiner + helper, that would do the work at weekends, after work and holidays. The total cost was around £30k in the end and with a better finish than originally quoted for.
The downsides were it took a bit longer and as I was sourcing all the materials and it took a bit away from my own earning potential.

I think lir could easy source materials. The hard part is finding good tradesmen who will work out of hours for a reasonable amount or even a small company, they are out there, ask around.

Also, don't buy as much cheese

lostinrates

Yeah...

Pn put what you want to sell up elsewhere with prices. All of it. One of us might know someone prepared to pay for a courier for big things too....you never know.



Frustrating day, everywhere we sink a spade for two plants i want to plant we hit rock.

misskool

at least you can get outside. everytime i go out, i get hail or rain.

and the ground is so damp, no point digging anything up....

And i really really want to glyphosate the lesser celandine but it's raining!

lostinrates

misskool wrote: »

at least you can get outside. everytime i go out, i get hail or rain.

and the ground is so damp, no point digging anything up....

And i really really want to glyphosate the lesser celandine but it's raining!

Well, rain has driven us in now, but when we go out dh is gonna take a pick axe to the ground for me.

PasturesNew

GDB2222 wrote: »

Come on, what do you have that can be packaged up and posted? It's probably against forum rules, but the mods may make an exception if you list a few items with prices on this thread.

Nothing much ..... to be honest. And I'd rather somebody collected.... not keen on all that packaging and posting malarkey. Lugging it down to a Post Office (where you can't park), to eventually be served by somebody whose character would fit into a dark comedy film.... "we're a local Post Office... for locals".

PasturesNew

Aaaah lunch .... three sausage rolls from a 6-pack from the Co-Op... and some Cadburys Twirl Bits from some posh pouch bag (reduced price though). Also bought some more chocolate digestives as I'd hate to run out of those on a Saturday night!