Nice people thread part 5 - nicely does it

HAMISH_MCTAVISH

Knew there was a reason I don't read that board....

SingleSue

I know I shouldn't but just could not resist that one, especially as it was on a subject I live and breath every day.

At first it seemed so sad that the poor man had not received the help he so desperately needed...but then I got peed off at the attitude.

I'm almost at the swearing and being blunt stage now, very unusual for me.

zagubov

SingleSue wrote: »

I know I shouldn't but just could not resist that one, especially as it was on a subject I live and breath every day.

At first it seemed so sad that the poor man had not received the help he so desperately needed...but then I got peed off at the attitude.

I'm almost at the swearing and being blunt stage now, very unusual for me.

I looked at the thread and found it frustrating.

As you know, DS has Aspergers and it dominates our routines. I'm off to bed. Good luck with the gig, BTW!

vivatifosi

Sue, on the subject of Aspergers, and I have to tread carefully here, I meet Aspies through my line of my work and most are children. Parents seem to take to very different views on how they interact with their children. You will get some parents, who like you, totally embrace the child's "speshulness" and you meet the kids, have a chat with them, find out what their wants and needs are and serve them accordingly. You then have a different group of parents who for want of a different expression wrap their kids in cotton wool and are desperate to protect them.

FWIW I'm not convinced that this attitude is unique to Aspergers. I've seen people do the same with kids with physical disabilities too. Does anyone else remember growing up with some disabled friends and you'd chat to them at school and you'd say "let's go play xxx" and some disabled kids would say "yes let's" and others would say "my mum won't let me do that". It's sympomatic of the same thing. I don't for one minute think that the parent/wife/husband/partner/guardian loves the individual any more or less, they just deal with the issue in different ways. However if I'm honest, its those kids who are well socialised and try things in spite of their differences who probably do better in life, just my 2p worth...

In the case of the husband I think it is very much down to what he wants to do. For sure Aspies, as with people with any disability, have troubles in the workforce. We've only got to look at Pastures who is clearly bright, funny, hard-working and wanting to get on to know that. In that respect it is right that a different safety net exists for differently-able people. However it may be that she (the wife in the thread) is coming to terms with all this and doesn't know. I've tried looking for the thread but couldn't see it so can't put it into context beyond that.

I know why it is winding you up and dare I say it is something you may be a bit too close to, but if someone did say to the wife "please also realise that Aspergers doesn't mean that your husband can't work" that wouldn't be a bad thing either. Please don't get stressed over it.

lostinrates

zagubov wrote: »

I looked at the thread and found it frustrating.

As you know, DS has Aspergers and it dominates our routines. I'm off to bed. Good luck with the gig, BTW!

I didn't know that.

SingleSue

I didn't know that either!

Viva - people have said that to her but she is insistent that he cannot work, that nothing at all can be done for him and that they should just leave him alone forever. My frustration comes from the fact that something can be done which could improve his life...I just hate it when people with autism are written off, they have just as much to give as a non autistic person. It doesn't make them incapable of doing everything for their whole lives.

I agree they do find it harder in the work place but working is not impossible for them, if they can find something which suits their autism, it can be a huge success...but I just can't understand the stance of not trying in the first place.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3898003

JonnyBravo

Davesnave wrote: »

Always seem to return with an electrical gadget I don't need, some fab ice cream, great meat and...well, not what I set out to get!

OMG!

I know who you are!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11fCIGcCa9c

PasturesNew

SingleSue wrote: »

In the benefits section....a woman wants her husband written off permanently from working because she believes he has autism.

Yeah... that autistic lot ..... write them off

PasturesNew

vivatifosi wrote: »

We've only got to look at Pastures who is clearly bright, funny, hard-working and wanting to get on to know that.

Or, from an employer's perspective: a poor communicator who is impossible to manage, beligerant, inappropriate and rude.



I would say though ... that that would be the viewpoint of an idiot employer.... as I'd point out to them.

LydiaJ

SingleSue wrote: »

I didn't know that either!

Viva - people have said that to her but she is insistent that he cannot work, that nothing at all can be done for him and that they should just leave him alone forever. My frustration comes from the fact that something can be done which could improve his life...I just hate it when people with autism are written off, they have just as much to give as a non autistic person. It doesn't make them incapable of doing everything for their whole lives.

I agree they do find it harder in the work place but working is not impossible for them, if they can find something which suits their autism, it can be a huge success...but I just can't understand the stance of not trying in the first place.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3898003

She's astonishing. She claims that her husband's autism makes it so difficult for him to cope with any kind of change that he couldn't possibly handle the disruption of having to attend even a single interview. She ignores all attempts to point out that he has evidently adjusted to the changes involved in getting married and having twins. She also finds it outrageous that anybody could suggest that she should put her twins in childcare and go to work herself, because she wouldn't be able to concentrate on work knowing that her children were with somebody else, and seems unaware that any women before her have had to do this.