Not sure what to make of it

LandyAndy

Teenie_D wrote: »

I agree! I know lots of couples have his and her money and it works for them but I don't really get it, especially when it comes to borrowing and paying back one another!

.

We have his, hers and ours.

Ours, which is almost all of it, pays all family, household, joint stuff etc.

His and Hers is to spend as we each see fit with no questions asked by the other.

Works for us.

And to the OP. You need discussion not separation.;) There are a few very sad and bitter people on here who like to project their experiences on to everyone else, possibly in the hope that someone else can be as miserable as they are.

adamantine

definately do not end the marriage over this! you have many more serious things to deal with in married life than this and if you cannot handle this then tbh you shouldnt be married in the first place imo.

sit down and talk!!! tell him its not ok he took it without asking and in future if he just says "im borrowing £x ill give it back on y day" that would be ok.

davetrousers

Him knowing your debit card PIN will be breaching the Ts & Cs of your account. If any fraudulent activity occurs on your account then the bank will have little sympathy for you.

Lotus-eater

davetrousers wrote: »

Him knowing your debit card PIN will be breaching the Ts & Cs of your account. If any fraudulent activity occurs on your account then the bank will have little sympathy for you.

Only if you tell them. Big brother isn't watching us that much yet, AFAIK.....

motherofstudents

Did you seriously put £5 of petrol in ? Hardly seems worth stopping at the petrol station for that.

dizziblonde

motherofstudents wrote: »

Did you seriously put £5 of petrol in ? Hardly seems worth stopping at the petrol station for that.

All I'm putting in my car at the moment (it's going to the big scrapyard in the sky at the end of the month so I'm just putting little splashes in when it hits the red line so the scrapyard ain't getting like half a tank of freebie fuel).

I'd be keeping an eye on your bank account - I had an ex who did similar sorts of things, and when I investigated further (after I caught him with his trouser-snake somewhere it shouldn't have been - but he was a general all-round slimeball of a man) turned out he'd been pilfering tenners here and there out of my bank account as well when I was asleep - no wonder I was constantly hitting overdraft... got rid of him and my account mysteriously started running fully in credit.

As for the his and her money - my parents run theirs like that to this day - one runs the direct debits, one runs the shops and day to day spending and keeps a total and they square it up equally at the end of the month... having seen the financial mess my first dad left us in when he, like my slimeball ex couldn't keep his trouserworm in his pants, with bank accounts frozen so his own kids couldn't eat and all sorts - I understand my mum's need to make sure that situation never ever happens again... and the system works for them.

ska_lover

People are so quick to get out of marriages these days.

This thread reminds me of the 'I caught my husband and father of two having a crafty spliff - now im kicking him out'

People don't know when they are well off- or at least 'not that badly' off

Pick your arguments people, not everything is worth splitting up over surely

adamantine

his and hers money is a very good idea for people like me who have been left screwed over by our wonderful ex's.

i wont be having a combined money in any future relationships where as before i couldnt understand anyone not combining their finances.

LudaMusser

I think ending a marriage because your partner took £40 from your savings jar is a bit harsh. If he had slept with another woman it would be different. He was probably to embarrassed to ask for the money. I`m not saying he is right to take it though.

I have a friend who`s wife uses his credit card all the time for clothes then he moans, all he needs to do is change the pin and it`s sorted but he won`t. Personally I would get on his case, don`t leave any money lying around and don`t let him borrown your cards. If he does you need a receipt and keep an eye on your statements.

Talk to him about his money problems

charlieann

davetrousers wrote: »

Him knowing your debit card PIN will be breaching the Ts & Cs of your account. If any fraudulent activity occurs on your account then the bank will have little sympathy for you.

This was my initial thought when reading thread.
You do not trust your OH with money and he knows your pin number.
You need to change your pin ASAP and do not share it with anyone.