Not sure what to make of it

KiKi

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Hell no - you do whatever W.H.A.T.E.V.E.R you can to bump up your post count, as the more 'controversial' you are, the more people argue with you and the more self satisfied you can be about how engaged you are in other people's lives without lifting a finger. :T:T:T

This made me absolutely :rotfl:. Not often I do that.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Forty quid just happens to be the going rate for a couple of bags of gear on tick plus the ones for the next week.

If it were normal to steal in the middle of January, there would be anarchy in Sainsbury's by now. So being a bit short doesn't wash.


And if he has your PIN, check your statements for cash withdrawals double what you expected them to be or a second one, just moments after the one you knew about or feasibly on the way home to you after going out/AWOL.

pink_princess

toomanyshoesfortwofeet wrote: »

Well I wouldn't raid just anyone's wallet, just the one human in the world I had promised to love in sickness and health, for better and worse, make babies with and promised to grow old with.

To be honest, we pool all our money, even the spending - sorry savings jar, and I just can't get my head around this 'stealing' malarkey.

I must "steal" from my husband 1-2 times a week if this is the case.
I always need change for parking for work, I get up earlier then my husband so can not ask him due to being so disorganised(2012 I will stop procrastinating in my home life ) the night before:o
I do not see this as theft as my money is his, his is mine. It merely moves around single/joint accounts or wallet/purse.
The difference being is that we would trust each other.

bell12

It's not about the amount. It's the fact he went about it the way he did...taking it and not telling me..hiding the jar like that.

Fags - told him 10 because I had some on me already so didn't seem any point getting 20 when I could give him those as will.

He'd insisted on me paying back the £5 and got the 20 fags and hiding them whilst knowing he'd already taken £40 from me earlier in the week. Just seems wrong.

Hes better off than me money wise.. just occasionally runs out towards payday and that's it. no gambling or drinking problems.

I don't know

KiKi

bell12 wrote: »

It's not about the amount. It's the fact he went about it the way he did...taking it and not telling me..hiding the jar like that.

I don't know

Precisely. So you need to TALK to him. Have a conversation. Ask him. Explain how you feel. Until you do that, you'll never know.

KiKi

salena

My hubbys always taken money out of my purse and ive never seen it as a problem. He only tends to take it if he doesnt have any cash on him and he needs bus/taxi fare or he's nipping to the shop to buy something we need (milk etc).

I will say though an ex of mine started to act shifty like this (when there really wasn't any need for it) and when i finally confronted him and told him i had noticed items and money disappearing he finally opened up and told me he had gambling issues. I really hope this isnt the case for you but i think you will get a lot further if you just sit down with him and talk calmly.

If what he's say's is forgivable then tell him you will accept it this time but if he pulls such stunts again in the future you wont be so forgiving x

one_hot_minute

Calling to end a marriage is needlessly reactionary! No wonder the divorce rate is so high if people call to bail at the first niggle in a marriage.

There's no stealing in my marriage but there is financial support. We both keep separate accounts but know how the other is faring and if I was short he'd give me enough to get by and vice versa. It's strange to think that if he had no cash for petrol / lunch At the end of the month that I'd give him money intending to get it back. You're married, you run a household. It's essential that there's financial unity or you'll end up in trouble or with resentments.

sarahg1969

bell12 wrote: »

It's not about the amount. It's the fact he went about it the way he did...taking it and not telling me..hiding the jar like that.

Fags - told him 10 because I had some on me already so didn't seem any point getting 20 when I could give him those as will.

He'd insisted on me paying back the £5 and got the 20 fags and hiding them whilst knowing he'd already taken £40 from me earlier in the week. Just seems wrong.

Hes better off than me money wise.. just occasionally runs out towards payday and that's it. no gambling or drinking problems.

I don't know

The problem here is not the money. If you're even discussing owing your partner a fiver, then you really need to sit down and talk. You're married, for heaven's sake. Frankly, I find it a bit weird.

newcook

One of my friends and her hubby have ‘his and her’ monies and it seems to work well for them. They have a joint one for bills and another for savings but they also have their own amount of cash.

If one of them nips to the shop but doesn’t have any cash on them, they borrow it from the other and give it back later – in their eyes they have both said every month we will have £100 spends each so if one borrows £10 it means the other has less disposable.


I certainly wouldn’t end a marriage over it (what a ridiculous response!!!!) but I think a chat is in order and maybe see whats coming in, whats going out and if theres a way to reduce this to make both of your disposables increase

Teenie_D

claire16c wrote: »

Tbh all I read was this and wondered if hes your husband or your mate.

Who owes their husband £5? Or 'lends' it in the first place.

Just odd.

I agree! I know lots of couples have his and her money and it works for them but I don't really get it, especially when it comes to borrowing and paying back one another!

OP I totally understand why you would be upset and like you said it's not the amount but the sneakiness. Like others have said you need to sit him down and just tell him you're a bit concerned over his behaviour all of a sudden. The only thing that stuck out for me was when he mentioned was that he loved you his good points outweighed the bad, not sure why he would say this unless he has something to hide, but maybe I'm reading too much in it? I just found it an odd thing to say.