Not sure what to make of it

bell12

Just a petty one sorry..I don't have anyone to speak to about this.... just wanted peoples thoughts and to get off my chest.


Yesterday me and husband go to the petrol station, he pays for £5 petrol and says I owe him the money. We make our way to Asda and I offer to buy him a pack of 10 fags and give him my debit card to buy them as I looked around the shop.

He bought a pack of 20 instead and hid them so I wouldn't know.

Same night - after he goes to work I discover hes moved/hidden my jar of money (I save into a jar lol) I counted the money and discover £40 is missing - rung him - he admitted taking it earlier in the week and was obviously hoping I wouldn't notice and he said he was going to replace it on payday.

Said he was skint - well he should have asked to borrow (hes knows I happily would) not go behind my back like that. Then found out about the fags. He says sorry etc etc and says in he does love me and hope I realise his good points outweigh the bad. Until this point I didn't think he had bad points.

Saturday he went to his brothers to help him move and promised that he'd be home at 5. I heard no more from him until he came in at 11.30pm off his face.

Up until now I've trusted him 100% but I don't after this.. I'm shocked he could be so sneaky..why go behind my back....what else could I have missed? I'm asking myself what sort of man have I married.:( How could he be so untrustworthy

tinktinktinkerbell

i would be fuming and be considering ending it

bell12

yes I'm thinking about it but I know he'll start putting himself down and guilt trip me he was the one that made the choices though luckily away tonight..gives me time to think.

tinktinktinkerbell

bell12 wrote: »

yes I'm thinking about it but I know he'll start putting himself down and guilt trip me he was the one that made the choices though luckily away tonight..gives me time to think.

DO NOT let him guilt trip you

he is stealing from you! nip it in the bud, now!

toomanyshoesfortwofeet

tinktinktinkerbell wrote: »

i would be fuming and be considering ending it

Really???? Not sure if I'm being dense and this is sarcasm...

To be honest, I think I'd be a little cross but I'd be more worried that he was acting out of character.

tinktinktinkerbell

toomanyshoesfortwofeet wrote: »

Really???? Not sure if I'm being dense and this is sarcasm...

To be honest, I think I'd be a little cross but I'd be more worried that he was acting out of character.

would i end it if my partner was stealing from me?

hell yes!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Drug addict?

Alcoholic?


Or just a scummy thieving git?


Whatever, I'd lose the dead weight.

bell12

:( so sad

balletshoes

it does sound like he might have some kind of cashflow problem. have you asked him about that? £40 he was presumably going to pay back into your jar on his payday - is that a lot of money for him to need at one time? why did he think you were the one who should have paid the fiver for the petrol?

Jessie11

Lying about money and stealing is definate cause for concern.

Nicki

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Drug addict?

Alcoholic?


Or just a scummy thieving git?


Whatever, I'd lose the dead weight.

Or someone struggling while he waits for the first paycheck to come in after Christmas, traditionally the period in the year when most people have cash flow problems?

This isn't intended to imply it is right to steal from a spouse as it clearly isn't, just don't give OP more to worry about than she needs to.

If OH has always previously been a good man, this wouldn't be a divorcing issue for me. Definitely a "worse" in the "for better or worse" bit, but something which could be resolved between us and forgiven and forgotten.