What would you do? ...

shiny76

elvis86 wrote: »

I'm sorry, but your brother sounds like a bit of a d!ck. He made you choose between having your dad and him at your wedding, but then fell out with you when you suggested that you might not be able to attend his?:(

Harsh. I read that as the bio-Dad issued the ultimatum

elvis86

shiny76 wrote: »

Harsh. I read that as the bio-Dad issued the ultimatum

Apologies if I got that wrong, I read it as her brother refusing to attend the wedding if her (their?) dad attended.

If I was wrong, I still think that falling out with the OP, giving her the silent treatment, and only agreeing to a truce on the proviso that she attended the wedding (ie on the proviso that he got his own way) makes him a bit of a d!ck.;)

daska

elvis86 wrote: »

Apologies if I got that wrong, I read it as her brother refusing to attend the wedding if her (their?) dad attended.

If I was wrong, I still think that falling out with the OP, giving her the silent treatment, and only agreeing to a truce on the proviso that she attended the wedding (ie on the proviso that he got his own way) makes him a bit of a d!ck.;)

I read it the same way and agree.

Sligo

I live in West of Ireland but often stay in Dublin for work. If you want a hotel at Dublin Airport then Bewleys Hotel is good and free shuttle bus between the hotel and airport runs 24hrs (only takes 5mins). Also I stayed in Travelodge Dublin Airport South last summer on way to ferry and found it very good with lovely rooms - 2 rooms for €40!! Not the nicest area but it was only a place to sleep. I think they may have transport to airport too.

Really you need to stay whatever side of Dublin is easiest to travel to where the wedding is. 30 minutes can take you a good distance from the city. Irish weddings can be very big - I've been to 3 this year and between 250 -300 guests at 2 of them and 400 at the last one!! So very easy to avoid anyone if necessary. Also, it is the norm to give money as a wedding gift here and that's how they afford to pay for the big receptions. It would be expected that you give at least €150 per couple and that's just for a friend or friend of the family's wedding. It's more for family members! They can be an expensive day out and 3 in one year was financially challenging!!

~_Dragonfly_~

If it's just truly about the money then I totally understand where you're coming from. My sister has now decided it's USA for her wedding!! We don't have that kind of money, our holidays are always in the UK.

You don't go you're being horrible, you do and you have to go without every basic thing you do have in your life to pay for it.
My OH cousin got married abroad and lots couldn't afford it, caused no end of rows that are still strong today.

elvis86

~_Dragonfly_~ wrote: »

If it's just truly about the money then I totally understand where you're coming from. My sister has now decided it's USA for her wedding!! We don't have that kind of money, our holidays are always in the UK.

In fairness, the OP's situation is completely different in that respect, as the wedding is only in Ireland, and it's there because her SIL2B is from Ireland.

Incidentally, there's nothing inherently "wrong" with anyone deciding to marry wherever they want to. So long as she accepts that you may not attend, choosing to marry in America is your sister's decision.

~_Dragonfly_~ wrote: »

You don't go you're being horrible, you do and you have to go without every basic thing you do have in your life to pay for it.
My OH cousin got married abroad and lots couldn't afford it, caused no end of rows that are still strong today.

What is wrong, IMO, is choosing to get married abroad and then making anyone feel pressured to attend when it would involve significant cost to them.

belfastgirl23

You can also get to Dublin from GB by bus or by train. See this website http://www.arrivatrainswales.co.uk/SailRail/

or this http://www.eurolines.co.uk/

Time consuming but it might be cheaper than flying, depending where you're starting out from.

You could also consider flying over just for the wedding ceremony itself and a little bit of the reception and returning the same day on the last flight.

You could also think about alternative accommodation - eg couchsurfing.

Cookiee

Thanks for your replies x

It was my brother who said that if our B-Dad attended, he would not go. This is also a point we argued about and when we spoke yesterday he appologised and forgot about this detail.

My mum is 65% disabled and my stepdad (who I call Dad) is one of her carers. He works in a medium job and they are also struggling with money (I have actually been helping her out with their debt ) so they are not selfish. My "sister" has fleeced the £8k over 6+ yrs and it was only when I added it all up from their c.cards etc that I noticed the total. They didn't realise either how much.

My nephew was a wonderful surprise as they were using protection (both of them ) and whilst her family were not happy, they were very against abortion. My brother loves the bones off FSIL and I also get on very well with her too (she is my irish sister lol)

Both my brother and her family are contributing to the wedding, which is why my brother is slightly up a river without a paddle about the hotel rooms. Now I have calmed down I can understand about the rooms.

Whilst I can understand some of peoples comments about my brother being a D**K, this is a very stressful time for them and he is under a lot of pressure. We rairly fall out and as you can see from my previous posts we are normally close.

As for the "sister". Apparently my brother has spoken to her and he has told me that other people have been asked to keep an eye out to ensure she does not start.

Phew!! :T Compaired to how I felt a few days ago this has totally flipped around.:j

Ok, back to the money saving

I will be flying into Dublin Airport Thursday 21st June and need to fly back Saturday 23rd. Need some hotel suggestions please. Also would it be cheaper to hire a car than taxis? I dont drink so no worries about drinking & driving

belfastgirl23

Where exactly is the wedding? Or at least is it countryside or city? Wouldn't recommend driving in Dublin city centre unless you really have to, it's a bit mad and parking etc is expensive...

Cookiee

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

Where exactly is the wedding? Or at least is it countryside or city? Wouldn't recommend driving in Dublin city centre unless you really have to, it's a bit mad and parking etc is expensive...

I cant remember exactly (will pop back tomorrow and advise) but I know the hotel has a sea view. I remember my brother saying its about 20/30 min to the airport (approx 10km) ...