What would you do? ...

Dinah93

We travel to Dublin a lot as my DH is Irish but flights to his part of the west coast from our neck of the woods are in short supply.

See here for hotels http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/travel/cheap-hotels. Personally I like trivago as there are often bargains, but even just a quick look on hotels.com shows the Carlton chain have several hotels in Dublin for less than £50 a night any day of the week in Dublin. It's still not cheap, but it's cheaper.

Secondly do you know who you'd fly with? Ryanair prices especially are very up and down, sign up to their website to get emails when they have sales on (roughly every fortnight it seems). You don't need to book just yet, just wait for the right sale to come up. DH and I have flown for 99p per person per leg including all taxes and charges in the last 18 months, but we've never paid over £45 per person for a return flight.

You clearly love your brother, find a way to be there for him and don't let this falling out with your sister ruin your relationship with him. In his shoes I would be feeling like I didn't matter as much as she does if you can't put your differences aside and just be civil for the one day.

Cookiee

Dear all

1stly thank you all for replying to my thread. I want to clear up a few things 1st then explain what has happened since my rant last night:

My brother and FSIL lives just outside Dublin (approx 30 mins). I live in Northamptonshire.

The main reason I was not sure about going was to do with my sister. I guess with the help from this website, I would have found a way to save the money for both myself and OH to attend.

My sister had me and my brother arrested and my brother charged with assult 6 years ago. This caused a huge issue in our family and resulted in my brother having to pay her then BF compensation because he felt he was being attacked. My brother never touched him and the then BF was over 6ft and a body builder!! He lost his flat, job, some friends and even to a degree family because of her lies. I was the only one to support my brother, emotionally and financially. I helped him find a job, flat and eventually he met his lovely partner. She became pregnant with my cheeky nephew and moved to be closer to her family (very strong catholic family).

Since then she has taken from my mum & dad almost £8k and has had 4 engagements in 13 months. The last time she lived with my mum (she moved out but is now back in with my mum) she had over 12 men come into their house without my mum's knowledge. She also caused my mum to have a heart attack when they were arguing.

It is not like I have tried to get on with her. I have given her chance after chance but when she accused my OH of hitting on her and said he wanted to pay her for s*x it was the final straw. I have respected my mum and brothers choice to forgive and forget but I am having difficulty doing this.

The main reason why my brother is upset is because we are very close and like you all can't understand why I can't put my feelings aside for 2 days. Unfortunately it does have to be 2 days as they are getting married on Friday at 11am and he needs me over there the night before to go through some details and meet FSIL mum & dad.

I have been in pieces all day today. My brother called me and we have sorted out our arguement as long as we go. He has promised me that I wont be near her and as a destraction I have been given Auntie Cookiee duties with my cheeky nephew :rotfl:

He wants to have a dance with me, like he did with mine (he gave me away at ours). I think it was also difficult point becuase I wanted my biological dad at my wedding but because he would not come if he was there, I did'nt invite him as my brother means more to me than my BDad.

However, I would like to end this thread on a positive note

Due to being a complete mess this morning at work, my boss pulled me a side and i poured my heart out about the wedding. He made me a cuppa then said that I need to put aside my feelings about my sister (like 99% of you all have advised ) and make this special about my brother and FSIL. He said that it is hard especially with what has happened with my sister, but, irish weddings (and this one is going to me massive according to my brother) are very busy and no-one really gets to see everyone lol

Now that fantastic bit. He (with the blessing of my MD as long as I dont tell anyone) has authorised me using the business hotel account to book a hotel for the 2 days :T He said that he will personally also pay for the flights for me (which I can then pay him back when I save the money - gives me a breather and longer to save), which only leaves me having to find money for food for 1 day and taxi to and from hotel (going to book hotel near Dublin airport as going to fly out from Luton) I have the BEST boss ever :j

I have explained this to my brother and he is also happy I am going :T. I know that it is going to be difficult with my sister there but as many of you and my OH and boss have explained it is my brothers day and I need to be the bigger person. If she starts (and there is a big possibility this is the case as she has told my brother she does not want me there too - another reason why he was upset) he has said that i will be too busy dancing to notice her x

Once again thank you for all your replies. I do kind of which that I hadn't started it but things done in haste, blow up in your face :rotfl:.

PoorCharleyBear

Glad it sounds like things are working out.

But instead of getting into debt, look at cheaper options for the hotel. I used to work in Dublin and stayed in hotels and B&Bs galore. Most of the B&B were fabulous and so friendly.

Have a look at http://www.booking.com/place/ie/-1505239/rathmines.en.html?aid=333518;label=rathmines-o_XdnTg8LwRPXZ_mfZSgPAS5120121822;ws=

for some ideas on reasonable prices!

squibbs25

Hi OP,

Fantastic news that your all sorted to go.
Hold your head up high and have a fantastic time.

newcook

PoorCharleyBear wrote: »

Glad it sounds like things are working out.

But instead of getting into debt, look at cheaper options for the hotel. I used to work in Dublin and stayed in hotels and B&Bs galore. Most of the B&B were fabulous and so friendly.

Have a look at http://www.booking.com/place/ie/-1505239/rathmines.en.html?aid=333518;label=rathmines-o_XdnTg8LwRPXZ_mfZSgPAS5120121822;ws=

for some ideas on reasonable prices!

Sounds like the company is going to pay for OP’s hotel – she will only need to repay the cost of the flights

elvis86

Cookiee wrote: »

My brother and FSIL lives just outside Dublin (approx 30 mins). I live in Northamptonshire.

Hopefully this will shut those people deriding the OP's brother's choice of "selfish" wedding venue...:cool:

Cookiee wrote: »

The main reason I was not sure about going was to do with my sister. I guess with the help from this website, I would have found a way to save the money for both myself and OH to attend.

If this is the case, then I'm glad you've decided to go. Refraining from attending because of her would only have meant you missing out (and probably ending up looking silly).

Cookiee wrote: »

My sister had me and my brother arrested and my brother charged with assult 6 years ago. This caused a huge issue in our family and resulted in my brother having to pay her then BF compensation because he felt he was being attacked. My brother never touched him and the then BF was over 6ft and a body builder!! He lost his flat, job, some friends and even to a degree family because of her lies. I was the only one to support my brother, emotionally and financially. I helped him find a job, flat and eventually he met his lovely partner.

I'm not surprised you've found it difficult to forgive her!:eek:

Cookiee wrote: »

She became pregnant with my cheeky nephew and moved to be closer to her family (very strong catholic family).

They can't be that devoutly Catholic if she had your nephew out of wedlock!:D

Cookiee wrote: »

Since then she has taken from my mum & dad almost £8k and has had 4 engagements in 13 months. The last time she lived with my mum (she moved out but is now back in with my mum) she had over 12 men come into their house without my mum's knowledge. She also caused my mum to have a heart attack when they were arguing.

It is not like I have tried to get on with her. I have given her chance after chance but when she accused my OH of hitting on her and said he wanted to pay her for s*x it was the final straw. I have respected my mum and brothers choice to forgive and forget but I am having difficulty doing this.

The main reason why my brother is upset is because we are very close and like you all can't understand why I can't put my feelings aside for 2 days. Unfortunately it does have to be 2 days as they are getting married on Friday at 11am and he needs me over there the night before to go through some details and meet FSIL mum & dad.

I have been in pieces all day today. My brother called me and we have sorted out our arguement as long as we go. He has promised me that I wont be near her and as a destraction I have been given Auntie Cookiee duties with my cheeky nephew :rotfl:

Wow, that was big of him...:cool:

Cookiee wrote: »

He wants to have a dance with me, like he did with mine (he gave me away at ours). I think it was also difficult point becuase I wanted my biological dad at my wedding but because he would not come if he was there, I did'nt invite him as my brother means more to me than my BDad.

I'm sorry, but your brother sounds like a bit of a d!ck. He made you choose between having your dad and him at your wedding, but then fell out with you when you suggested that you might not be able to attend his?:(

Cookiee wrote: »

However, I would like to end this thread on a positive note

Due to being a complete mess this morning at work, my boss pulled me a side and i poured my heart out about the wedding. He made me a cuppa then said that I need to put aside my feelings about my sister (like 99% of you all have advised ) and make this special about my brother and FSIL. He said that it is hard especially with what has happened with my sister, but, irish weddings (and this one is going to me massive according to my brother) are very busy and no-one really gets to see everyone lol

Now that fantastic bit. He (with the blessing of my MD as long as I dont tell anyone) has authorised me using the business hotel account to book a hotel for the 2 days :T He said that he will personally also pay for the flights for me (which I can then pay him back when I save the money - gives me a breather and longer to save), which only leaves me having to find money for food for 1 day and taxi to and from hotel (going to book hotel near Dublin airport as going to fly out from Luton) I have the BEST boss ever :j

I have explained this to my brother and he is also happy I am going :T. I know that it is going to be difficult with my sister there but as many of you and my OH and boss have explained it is my brothers day and I need to be the bigger person. If she starts (and there is a big possibility this is the case as she has told my brother she does not want me there too - another reason why he was upset) he has said that i will be too busy dancing to notice her x

Once again thank you for all your replies. I do kind of which that I hadn't started it but things done in haste, blow up in your face :rotfl:.

I'm glad you got it sorted, but I have to say I feel very sorry for you. If your parents can afford to bail your sister out to the tune of £8000, and your brother and his OH can afford a "massive" Irish wedding, you'd think that one of them would've helped you out rather than your boss having to take pity on you. Do they know how tight money is for you? It also sounds like your brother has been a bit of a pr!ck, considering the circumstances.

Lotus-eater

elvis86 wrote: »

I'm glad you got it sorted, but I have to say I feel very sorry for you. If your parents can afford to bail your sister out to the tune of £8000, and your brother and his OH can afford a "massive" Irish wedding, you'd think that one of them would've helped you out rather than your boss having to take pity on you. Do they know how tight money is for you? It also sounds like your brother has been a bit of a pr!ck, considering the circumstances.

The wedding will probably be being paid for by the Irish family.

But yeah, her brother sounds a right idiot and not exactly the fantastic little brother which was first spoken about. In fact the whole family sounds pretty awful tbh.
He banned you from inviting your Dad to your wedding otherwise he wouldn't come and then had a go at you, for saying you couldn't afford to go to his! There are no words............. but if someone can't see he's an idiot because of that, then .........
Makes me wonder what really happened and why he lost his flat. You don't have to pay out money for nothing.

elvis86

Lotus-eater wrote: »

The wedding will probably be being paid for by the Irish family.

I guessed as much, but I still think the brother could've at least put his foot down RE his sister getting one of the free rooms/made arrangements to help out with her airfare (especially having heard more of the family history!).

Lotus-eater wrote: »

But yeah, her brother sounds a right idiot and not exactly the fantastic little brother which was first spoken about. In fact the whole family sounds pretty awful tbh.
He banned you from inviting your Dad to your wedding otherwise he wouldn't come and then had a go at you, for saying you couldn't afford to go to his! There are no words.............

Completely agree. The kind of family where certain members' repeated awful behaviour is accepted and rewarded with bail-outs, where some members issue ultimatums and expect others to make difficult decisions in their favour, and yet others are expected to comply with everyone else's wishes, and are chastised and given the silent treatment when they confide that they are short of money or *shock, horror*, when they dare to have an opinion of their own regarding another family member who has treated them in a disgusting manner.

I'm changing my tune, but I'd be tempted to spend the £350 on a spa weekend for myself and f**k the lot of them!:D

Mojisola

Cookiee wrote: »

Now that fantastic bit. He (with the blessing of my MD as long as I dont tell anyone) has authorised me using the business hotel account to book a hotel for the 2 days :T He said that he will personally also pay for the flights for me (which I can then pay him back when I save the money - gives me a breather and longer to save), which only leaves me having to find money for food for 1 day and taxi to and from hotel (going to book hotel near Dublin airport as going to fly out from Luton) I have the BEST boss ever :j

You certainly do!

daska

OP, your boss may be wonderful but your parents sound deluded and your brother sounds like a d*ck. Sod the wedding have a lovely weekend somewhere else.