What would you do? ...

Judith_W

Any chance you could ask to borrow the money off your parents, that way you wouldn't have to pay overdraft fees. Also, certainly stay in the cheaper hotel, even if it causes comments.

I really think that you need to set the issue with your sister aside for the duration of the wedding, its not your brother's fault.

FWIW I think you should go, I can understand it if was £1,000s but I'm assuming at one time you wouldn't have batted an eyelid or wouldn't be in debt and this is the sort of day that will be significant forever.

I personally think even if this delays you getting debt free for another year, in the long run you should put family above money so unless you are going to lose your house or something, in the long run you'll regret it.

red_devil

and this is the sort of day that will be significant forever.


My oh's brother made a right fuss when he got married about 12 years ago. Different dress codes, different venues. I think the whole thing was in about 4 different places.

He is divorced now so who cares. It was their day no-one else gives a dam really weddings are easily forgotten i am afraid.

Acc72

*Louise* wrote: »

The thing is, (in my opinion) your biggest problem is presenting two excuses to people.

If you genuinely have money problems, then saying that you shouldn't go because of the rift with your sister looks like your main reason and the money situation just looks like a back up for your excuse so people won't perhaps take it as seriously.

If it were me, I wouldn't even mention the problem with the sister, I would be emphasising the problem with the cost as the only issue, at the end of the day if I didn't make it, 'she couldn't afford to be here' sounds much less petty than 'she couldn't face being at the same event as her sister'.......

That said, I would be looking into travelodges and hostels and seeing what I could get the costs down to before making my excuses.

Great post.

Also, by not going you are potentially further alienating yourself from your sister plus other family members.

I am not sure where you live, but can you not get a cheap same day return Ryan Air flight ? You don't have to even stay over, never mind for 2 nights.

elvis86

red_devil wrote: »

Dont go, if your brother wants to get married and its not the local church etc that you can attend without cost, then why should put yourself out and skint yourself. He isnt offering to pay so as long as he is there thats all that matters its his wedding.

And the fact that it may well be his bride-to-be's local church has no bearing on that whatsoever, I suppose?:cool:

Honestly, I'm absolutely against a lot of the modern wedding culture (eg "I want 17 bridesmaids but can't afford the dresses so I've told them all to buy their own"), but equally there are some miserable b*****ds around who seem to object to putting themselves out at all.

Folk like you would seemingly only be happy if the bride and groom held their wedding in your front room so you didn't have to leave the house or get dressed to attend!

*max*

Why do you have to stay for 2 nights?

I have just looked on the Travelodge website (how dedicated am I!), and they have rooms in Dublin in June starting at 29 Euros a night. Even if it's not near the wedding hotel, you could always use a taxi (or even a bus to get there, and a taxi to return), I'm sure it would make it cheaper than £90. The bus from the airport to the city is 10 euros return.

Personally, I would do my utmost to make sure I could attend. Sell whatever you can, reduce your grocery bill, keep a penny jar, do overtime at work...etc. It's your brother's wedding, and it's not even that far.

red_devil

elvis86 wrote: »

And the fact that it may well be his bride-to-be's local church has no bearing on that whatsoever, I suppose?:cool:

Honestly, I'm absolutely against a lot of the modern wedding culture (eg "I want 17 bridesmaids but can't afford the dresses so I've told them all to buy their own"), but equally there are some miserable b*****ds around who seem to object to putting themselves out at all.

Folk like you would seemingly only be happy if the bride and groom held their wedding in your front room so you didn't have to leave the house or get dressed to attend!

its not that, but why should it cost alot of money to attend weddings. Its their big day not anyone else's. Like i say alot of people dont even stay together anymore. Its their day as long as they are there it dosent matter if his sister isnt.

*max*

red_devil wrote: »

its not that, but why should it cost alot of money to attend weddings. Its their big day not anyone else's. Like i say alot of people dont even stay together anymore. Its their day as long as they are there it dosent matter if his sister isnt.

Well, maybe it's doesn't matter TO YOU. But it's neither here nor there, really, is it?

CH27

Cookiee wrote: »

It would be roughly half (give or take) but I really dont want to go to the wedding without my OH. He is apart of my family and gets on really well with my brother and future sister in law.

But it would cut costs & enable you to see your brother get married.

elvis86

red_devil wrote: »

its not that, but why should it cost alot of money to attend weddings. Its their big day not anyone else's. Like i say alot of people dont even stay together anymore. Its their day as long as they are there it dosent matter if his sister isnt.

This isn't someone jetting off to a 5* resort on the other side of the world to get married on a whim and expecting everyone they know to attend. It's a couple having to choose between their hometowns which are an hour's flight apart. Big difference.

As for his sister's presence "not mattering", I think the OP and her brother may disagree (as would a lot of people RE their sibling's weddings).

daska

I think I would start looking into travelling on the day and booking a night flight back. If you have to book trains etc to the airport you can start doing that from 12 weeks ahead for the best prices.

I would also take a copy of your SOA round to your parents and explaining your financial situation so they can see that you are genuinely going to struggle - it might help to have someone who understands on your side when people question why you're doing it on the cheap.