A typical 3yr old....

AimeesMum_2

Hi all,

Hoping some of you might be able to answer my questions about 3/4yr old children

1) If you and your OH were at a meeting, and your child was asked if she wanted to go and play with someone who she has never met before - would she be timid? reserved? or just go off with the stranger as she was getting to play with toys and games.

2) If you have ever cried in front of your child, how did she react? for example did she look upset, try to console you, just ignore it.

3) If you and your partner have ever argued in front of your 3/4yr old. Quite a decent arguement with shouting. for example Was he/she scared, tell you to stop, or just ignore it and continue playing.

Hoping you can respond to any of the questions, even if they all aren't applicable xx

Sambucus_Nigra

Hoping you can respond to any of the questions if they aren't applicable

Eh?

There is no such thing as a typical 3 year old; one of my nieces wouldn't say boo to a goose at 3 but the other one; would disappear without looking back if asked to play with someone.

It's probably better to explain what has happened - rather than try and prompt answers that may or may not agree with your viewpoint.

AimeesMum_2

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Hoping you can respond to any of the questions if they aren't applicable

Eh?

Apologies, now corrected

AimeesMum_2

It's not about a viewpoint really. My partner has mental health problems so we now have the involvement of a social worker who has made observations in those three situations - daughter being taken away to play when we were at a meeting, me crying and me and her father arguing and said that she doesn't respond like a typical three year old. I'm interested in peoples views on what a 'typical' three year old acts like x

victory

What has happened because the questions obviously relate to an incident concerning the 3 year old so what is it? Every 3 year old is going ot react differently .....

splishsplash

AimeesMum wrote: »

Hi all,

Hoping some of you might be able to answer my questions about 3/4yr old children

1) If you and your OH were at a meeting, and your child was asked if she wanted to go and play with someone who she has never met before - would she be timid? reserved? or just go off with the stranger as she was getting to play with toys and games.

2) If you have ever cried in front of your child, how did she react? for example did she look upset, try to console you, just ignore it.

3) If you and your partner have ever argued in front of your 3/4yr old. Quite a decent arguement with shouting. for example Was he/she scared, tell you to stop, or just ignore it and continue playing.

Hoping you can respond to any of the questions, even if they all aren't applicable xx

1) I would have arranged a babysitter.

2) and 3) I don't believe small children should be exposed to or have to deal with adult issues, so I would never cry or argue in front of a small child.

rachbc

I also agree that there is no such thing as a typical 3 year old and my dd might react differently at different times. Us saying out children react differently to your doesn't mean there is an issue with your, nor does any of us saying they react the same mean your family might not benefit from support.

I am also incline to agree that wherever possible children shouldn't witness parents arguing and hubby and I try very hard not to and if your daughter is being exposed to this a lot then it would be an issue regardless of how she reacts to it.

AimeesMum_2

well then none of the questions are applicable to you - so pointless for posting

Xaniwoop

I have 2 dds aged 5 and 2 1/2 so I'll answer for both if thats ok. I think they are both fairly average children and I'd say that DD1 has become a bit more cautious since she was 3-4 but they are both pretty outgoing.

1. I think my DDs could react in any of the ways you mentioned but it would depend on the other factors at play:

mood/tiredness level - any kind of illness or upset and they would be very wary of leaving, they still probably would go unless they were really unwell but might need more coaxing

how long she had had to get to know the stranger - if we had all stood and chatted for 5-10 mins she'd be more likely to go than with someone who had only just been introduced

how exciting the toys on offer were

how the stranger had engaged with her initially - they'd both happily go off with someone who got down to their level and engaged with them. On the other hand sometimes they totally take against someone on sight and won't budge an inch (DD1 used to have a thing against beards when she was smaller, she wouldn't even make eye contact with a beardie!)

2. this one seems to vary a bit on personality DD2 is very empathetic and would give me a hug and might even get a bit upset herself. DD1 is more analytical she might want an explanation or she might just totally ignore me.

3. Again DD2 might get upset, DD1 would tell us to stop it or even intervene and try and discipline us (shouting is not acceptable behaviour Mummy!) mostly though they would ignore us but we don't really have terrible arguments just occasional bickering just like them so perhaps they don't notice most of the time.

I hope that helps with whatever is troubling you. TBH I think a huge range of reactions are normal as so much depends on the personality of a child and especially their mood. We were convinced that DD1 would be a perfect bridesmaid when she was 3 1/2 as she's so outgoing and loves to be the centre of attention but a combination of tiredness, loud bells and stage fright led to her freaking out and refusing to walk down the aisle v embarrassing and totally unpredictable.

Sorry if it seems a bit random at this point in the debate, no one else had answered when I started this mammoth post!

victory

AimeesMum wrote: »

well then none of the questions are applicable to you - so pointless for posting

Well no not really because it seems obvious that no 3 year old will ever react the same to another that has been placed in your questions situation.

They should have been at all cost maybe avoided for a little 3 year old to see/witness/be involved in but the 3 year old has and now there is no 'boxing a 3 year old into a catergory of how he/she should behave'

AimeesMum_2

But then surely the social worker shouldn't hae boxed my daughter into behaving untypically :S

She said that she was very talkative and open when chatting to people and this wasn't 'normal'. I just think it's an unfair statement to make