MSE Newborn to 1 year Baby Club 1

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

hi Mozzy - I think the best person for you to speak to would be the HV who could diagnoise properly.

Feeling teary is natural, your LO is only a month old so you are still adjusting - I remember sobbing my heart out until DD1 was 6/7 months old because of sheer exhaustion but I wasnt actually PND. Even with DD2 sleeping through, I still have upset moments - Its a big shift in your life having someone dependant on you and it is a lot to take in. If those are your only symptoms i would be inclinced to say it is just tirdness/worrying BUT do speak to your HV xx

EDIT: just to add - With DD1 i now realise it was my own fault she was screaming etc until she was about 6 months old, I used to hold her constantly, she never had a routine, I never left her with anyone else, and she was very much mollycoddled by me. I have since learned from my mistake!

*Ro*

:grouphug: Mozzy hope Lucy can help
Want to post properly but can't now will do when I can
Hello all x
Just read mimi s post and agree 100%

Kira000

Lucy, sorry you have been feeling so down. It really is hard sometimes, especially with the physical "hangovers" of the labour to deal with. Glad you have got some help and hope the tablets kick in v soon for you.
Maybe it would be good for the three of us (Mozzy!) to meet up for a walk up your way? Fresh air, sunlight and a chance to get out the house and have a moan!
K x

mozzyc

I agree Kira! Sorry i haven't had the time to reply to you. Just managed to get some time on the computer now whilst charlie sleeps for the first time today since 6am!!

My mum goes up North Thursday next week, so if you free either then, Friday or any day the following week, i'm up for it. We can do a nice walk to and around Carlisle Park. Another friend comes round with her LO on Monday for the walk, so if you want to do it then even, that would be great. The more the merrier!!

Lucy, let me know what you think. Not sure how far I am or Carlisle Park is from you?

x

mozzyc

*Ro* wrote: »

:grouphug: Mozzy hope Lucy can help
Want to post properly but can't now will do when I can
Hello all x
Just read mimi s post and agree 100%

Thanks Ro!! xxx

mozzyc

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

hi Mozzy - I think the best person for you to speak to would be the HV who could diagnoise properly.

Feeling teary is natural, your LO is only a month old so you are still adjusting - I remember sobbing my heart out until DD1 was 6/7 months old because of sheer exhaustion but I wasnt actually PND. Even with DD2 sleeping through, I still have upset moments - Its a big shift in your life having someone dependant on you and it is a lot to take in. If those are your only symptoms i would be inclinced to say it is just tirdness/worrying BUT do speak to your HV xx

EDIT: just to add - With DD1 i now realise it was my own fault she was screaming etc until she was about 6 months old, I used to hold her constantly, she never had a routine, I never left her with anyone else, and she was very much mollycoddled by me. I have since learned from my mistake!

Thanks Mimi. So when you way you held her constantly - would you suggest I put him down more and maybe start getting into a routine. Right now its just day by day, because it all depends if its a good day or bad day with him. A bad day was today, where he hasn't slept from 6am to 7pm besides maybe 20min here or there. And spent a lot of time crying uncontrollably and I just don't know why. So was really tough. I'm really hoping it gets better, and the crying becomes less and less, so we can start enjoying our time together. Right now, it just seems really stressful.

Lucy1973

Thank you wonder womble and everyone xxx

Sorry to hear you're having a tough time at the mo Mozzy. I have suffered with depression in the past,so recognised the symptoms but this time I felt much worse,not eating,sleeping,lack of concentration and crying all the time,plus anxious at being left alone to care for the baby once husband went to work. Def speak to your dr or hv xxx

I am def up for meeting up as carlisle park isnt too far at all,but will have to make it the week after next as got a few things planned next week. But am looking forward to meeting up:)

Kira000

mozzyc wrote: »

Thanks Mimi. So when you way you held her constantly - would you suggest I put him down more and maybe start getting into a routine. Right now its just day by day, because it all depends if its a good day or bad day with him. A bad day was today, where he hasn't slept from 6am to 7pm besides maybe 20min here or there. And spent a lot of time crying uncontrollably and I just don't know why. So was really tough. I'm really hoping it gets better, and the crying becomes less and less, so we can start enjoying our time together. Right now, it just seems really stressful.

It WILL get better hon! One thing that helped me, was standing back (metaphorically!) and watching the cues CJ was trying to give me, to help work out what was making her cry. When they arrive, it is so intense, that its hard to spot the signs. Things like smacking lips, fists in mouth for hunger, turning head away, slow blinking, rubbing/clawing at eyes for tired etc. If you can start to differentiate the signs, it means you can head off the crying before it can build up. It comes with time!

Generally when LO cried when she was very little, we ran through the check: Offer food, if that doesnt stop it, check nappy, even if they have only just fed, or only just been changed. Over time, we added, uncomfortable -check temperature of room/clothes not tight/bunched etc, overstimulated- take her somewhere dark and quiet, bored - take her to a window to look out, sing to her etc, and of course, there is tired!
I was always surprised how often booby or nappy solved the problem, even when i thought it couldnt possibly be the problem!

It might be worth using an app (or pen and paper!) to note down when he feeds, sleeps etc, to try and become aware of patterns. Once you start to see any pattern, it makes it easier to work with baby to get a routine. For me, spotting that LO generally had a crying fit followed by feeding marathon around 6pm give or take, and then got sleepy, was the key to things improving. Now i can predict when to start things off, and stop the grizzle before it becomes a wail, and she gets instantly calms when i start going upstairs with her at around 5.30-6pm cos she knows whats next, even when she is sooooo overtired from refusing sleep all day.
LO is pretty hard as she doesnt switch off in the day and so to get her to unwind, I do end up sitting in a quiet darkened room for up to 2 hours for the bedtime routine- nappy, Pjs, mammoth feed (1-1.5 hours!), upright time/burp (30mins), then crib and rock to sleep (20mins), but for my 6-7 hours of unbroken sleep, i'll live with it!

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Each baby is different babe and what works for one might not work for the other. With DD1 - the moment she cired i picked her up, With amy i tend to leave her a bit longer, most of the time she settles herself. I dont cuddle Amy as much as i did with DD1 but I still have mummy cuddles and play time!

Im a firm believer in routine now - Have been ever since nursery put DD1 in to 1!

Amy has 4 naps during the day. Every time she wakes up she gets offered a bottle (5oz) and has her bum changed. The only time she gets a bigger bottle is the first feed at 6am - I give her 7oz

Usually she is asleep:

7:50 - 8:30am
10:00 - 11:00am
13:00-13:30
15:30 - 16:00

She goes to bed every night at 18:30 on the dot no matter what. I dont sit in the room with her - I dont have to, I put he in her cot, turn her mobile on, give her a kiss goodnigh and walk out. She usually grizzles for a bit (I only EVER go back in to settle her if she is "proper" crying, and even then In wont pick her up, I'll stroke her head, put her mobile back on if it has gone off and when shes settled I leave again) but she is usually asleep within 15 minutes of me putting her down. With DD1 I used to sit in that bloody room for hours on end trying to settle her!

in between those times she is either on her playmat, or in her swing, or playing with me, or we are out and about.

I will not let her sleep after 16:00 though, tonight she started dozing off and I couldnt keep her awake so i stuck her in the bath at about 5:30 lol she soon woke up ;-)

When I was breast feeding she was waking every 2 hours and I found it difficult as I started hating OH for sleeping and was no use to DD1 being tired all the time, I also have medication which was going through my breast milk and I was worried about the effect it would have on Amy so i put her on bottles. I felt bad to begin with but as soon as she started sleeping through I knew I had done the right thing FOR US

I would note down his patterns over the next couple of days and see if you could try a routine - it might help, it might not. But it's worth a try!

mozzyc

Wow, thanks Kira and Mimi. Great advice from you both. Thank-you so much. Will try this out over the next few days, and really try to start noting trigger points and signs from him. You're right though, today it was probably hunger, but I just didn't believe it was after just giving him 120ml!
Thanks ladies, means a lot x