Christmas "get if off your chest" thread.

whiteguineapig

Barneysmom wrote: »

Thanks McKneff. I am useless at asking for help but I will give it a try next time.

barneysmom i don't think there should be a next time, i would tell them i'm going to be away next year

Caroline_a

Oh my goodness.... I have quite a small family, since my parents died, there's just me and my daughters (their other halves, plus grandson). Last year was the first year with no responsibilities for me as my father died that year.... so rather than have the kids saying 'I'd better have mum', I went off the the Caribbean for Christmas... and very nice it was too! However... I have had some horrible Christmas's.

Like the year that MIL invited the BiL and SiL plus their 2 kids and bf/gfs... or not. The numbers changed every day for 2 weeks prior to Christmas, finally ending up with BiL, SiL, niece (sulking as bf wouldnt come), me, OH, DD1 (aged 3) and DD2 (aged 1). They all arrived at 10 on Xmas morning, gathered up OH and vanished to the pub. I was left with MIL (we detested each other) and the kids. I made a large buffet as we were having Xmas dinner in the evening. They came back, went through the buffet like a plague of locusts... then fell asleep in front of the tv.

I cleared away, washed up, made the Xmas dinner, entertained the kids and woke them up to eat. They then demolished a large turkey + everything else.... back to in front of tv and more sleeping. I had used every plate, dish, knife, fork and spoon I possessed, so the washing up was HUGE!!! Did I get help..? did I f*!*.!!! Do you know how much noise you can make whilst washing up pans???

I never did it again, hence now, Christmas is on MY terms, so if I spend it alone it's because I want to!!

VJsmum

runningwoman wrote: »

Drank a bottle and a half of green ginger wine mixed with water and sugar, like chav mulled wine. It was jolly lovely.

BUT APPARENTLY IT HAS A LAXATIVE EFFECT BECAUSE ITS MADE WITH LOTS OF RAISINS. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. UNTIL ABOUT 2 ON BOXING DAY MORNING.

(note to self - never drink green ginger wine on a first date)

I am so sorry but this is a bit :rotfl:Your user name is very appropriate!

Hope you are better now!

My moan is about the MIL. She has been to us the last couple of christmasses and before that roughly every other one, she is a martyr in the extreme. This year my SIL (her DIL) and 2 children (her grandchildren) came too - so with my OH and our 2 we were 8. My BIL (OH's brother) committed suicide nearly 2 years ago - so her misery isn't without cause.

HOwever, usually it is ok and she copes well and I do realise christmas is a difficult time, but it isn't her grief that is hard to deal with, it is her constant nag, nag nag at the children. The children are a girl of 10 and a boy of 8 and clearly, they have been through hell in their short little lives. BIL was severly mentally ill with anxiety and depression all their lives and made several attempts at his own life before he was successful. THese kids have watched all of that and were stressed beyond belief - his death, to a certain extent, has freed them. Now they are happy, well adjusted and relaxed normal children. But they are children and sometimes their behaviour can be challenging, and they can be noisy and a little bit cheeky. We love to see them because they are totally different to how they were when their dad was alive - I am sorry to say that they are much happier now and it is tragic that it took what he did to make them so.

SO MIL can't be grateful for that, she has to try to make them conform to her ideals "Sarah, comb your hair" "Adam, don't put that toy on the floor like that", "Mary (to SIL) they haven't eaten any vegetables" "Are you going to let them just have chocolate like that" " can't you put those toys away" "Do you have to make so much noise" and on and on and on.

SIL pulled her up on it - rightly so - and so MIL sat with a face like thunder all the way through dinner yesterday. Any conversation she had over the whole weekend was about the BIL, and anyone she saw on TV she had to say whether they were dead or not.

They've gone to a hotel together tonight - MIL SIL and 2 kids - hope they survive :rotfl:

VfM4meplse

Raksha wrote: »

OH started shouting at him to 'ask first!' When I asked what was up, he said he'd be brought up to 'ask first'

Your OH sounds like a typical Indian man - thinking they have invented a better way of doing things and that their way is best!

YORKSHIRELASS

I have kept this one to myself so will now have a little moan. My Mum always comes to us for Christmas but this year was invited to another family member which was fine with me. I really missed her and rushed to the phone when it rang on Christmas Day hoping it would be her.

She then told me that she was having a fantastic time, in fact she has had the best Christmas Day for 20 years. I bit my lip and just said oh thats nice when I was thinking that all the bl**dy Christmases with us cant have been that great then.

I am still upset about it now. Am I being too sensitive? I know Mum had had a few glasses of wine and didnt mean it how it sounded.

bunty109

Well I spent a whole week with family members on the verge of splitting up Don't want to rehash it all on here as they might use the site, but I am seriously contemplating Christmas away next year......been hunting around on MSE looking for inspiration as to how to pay for it and where on earth to go!

aliasojo

YORKSHIRELASS wrote: »

I am still upset about it now. Am I being too sensitive? I know Mum had had a few glasses of wine and didnt mean it how it sounded.

I don't think you're being too sensitive. I think most people would feel something, when taking that remark at face value.

However I think you need to add the context. Your Mum was in the midst of things with a few glasses of wine inside her. She just spoke without thinking.

She was having fun and expressed it in an unthinking way. That's all. It really doesn't mean she didn't have good times with you at Xmas previously. Try to put it out of your mind.

Kili

Just to let you all know, Amazon agreed to the exchange through Tesco (after OH had to call various different people lol) so I now have a working Kindle that he will not be allowed to even breathe on!!!

(and yes, he's being extra nice at present!)

*LolaB*

So happy to have found this thread, feel a lot less alone in my annoyance now.

We always spend xmas with my mum & MIL (xmas dinner together in the pm as MIL works) @ my mums house due to space. Mum always shops for the food at her insistence (we all split the cost) as she is retired & we all work full time (extra hours this time of year). Everything else is done by OH & I, OH is a chef so pretty much takes charge of dinner & I am his assistant. This year is slightly different as mum is currently midway through precautionary chemo (successful surgical treatment for breast cancer - yay!) & I know she is extra tired/feeling rough so is limited to what she can do & I have been doing as much as possible to make things easier (driving her places, present shopping & wrapping, cleaning her house top to bottom etc). Before I get slated I don't begrudge doing this at all but what gets to me is that nothing is good enough & I get loads of little digs & comments throughout, she's currently in a grump with me because I didn't want to spend a couple of hours last night deep cleaning her kitchen (this is after I had spent all day driving her around the northwest to visit various family). I'm maybe a little oversensitive/hormonal about this but I'm in the early stages of pregnancy, completely worn out & struggling with morning (allday) sickness, mum knows & is thrilled but still gets mardy with me if I can't drop everything & be at her beck & call.

Aaahhhh, feel a bit better now for getting it off my chest, even if I am overeacting/being too sensitive

mrcow

YORKSHIRELASS wrote: »

I have kept this one to myself so will now have a little moan. My Mum always comes to us for Christmas but this year was invited to another family member which was fine with me. I really missed her and rushed to the phone when it rang on Christmas Day hoping it would be her.

She then told me that she was having a fantastic time, in fact she has had the best Christmas Day for 20 years. I bit my lip and just said oh thats nice when I was thinking that all the bl**dy Christmases with us cant have been that great then.

I am still upset about it now. Am I being too sensitive? I know Mum had had a few glasses of wine and didnt mean it how it sounded.

lol I'd remind her of it.

In fact, I wouldn't let her live it down!