Christmas "get if off your chest" thread.

Kili

Well, OH was up and out long before me this morning. He just called from Tesco, apparently he's managed to get it replaced so my annoyance with him is waning. This one shall be password protected and I'll kill him if he touches it.

He can make it up to me today because I feel like crap with swollen glands and sore throat so definitely a day off for me

Raksha

Can I come a bit late to this thread?
OH always makes loads of 'nibblie bit' - cheese straws etc. The family use these to 'graze' on during the holiday.
OH works shifts and has had to work the 'late' shift on Christmas day, and 'nights' last night and tonight. Before he left last night, he kicked off because I had allowed the boys (aged 14 and 16) to help themselves to some nibbles for their tea. He complained that he hadn't had any yet, so I said he ought to put some aside if he was worried he would miss out - he refused.....
I refuse to be held 'responsible' for the possibility that there won't be any bits left when he finally gets around to wanting to eat them, both boys have been asked to leave some for their Dad, but it's like an ongoing battle of wills between them

ab.da54

McKneff wrote: »

Dont wait for them to take you for granted, they will do what thy can get away with.

People need permission from you to treat you like a doormat. And youre giving it by saying nothing

When the meal is finished smile sweetly and ask ' who is going to kind enought to help with the dishes'

Barneysmom wrote: »

Thanks McKneff. I am useless at asking for help but I will give it a try next time.

Please do. It will save a whole heap of resentment building. Besides which, if no-one does offer to help after that, then you know not to invite them again.

MarilynMonroe_2

Kili next xmas spend £9 on him, give him a 5 pound note and 8 50p pieces in a card, make a point!

Hope you can get it exchanged xx

ab.da54

KxMx wrote: »

I see a succession of lonely christmases with Mum putting on a false front that I am having a great time really, despite this xmas being exactly like the last 10. If I am better by next xmas then I will have a meal with Mum and then spend some of the day volunteering somewhere since it's too depressing the way things are now.

I do think the key is in doing something different yourself, KxMx, rather than maybe thinking others will invite you.

It sounds as though you have some ill health, but, hopefully, doing something such as volunteering, will give you a christmas you enjoy.

It doesn't have to be the same every year. I hope next year's is a better one for you.

elfen

Hmm...

Big sis (now over 30) had a tantrum cos she wasnt winning at Monopoly. Stormed off and everything. Had another hissy Christmas Day morning when doing presents cos little sis (who has a really good job) got herself extra presents. This is the big sis who plays one-up with little sis present wise - so far it been laptops, TV and PS3, Wii and iPod Touch......funny methinks.
" other sisters don't bother getting u presents os they got £1 perfume from Poundland and my niee got a gigantic bag of pressies

VfM4meplse

gunsandbanjos wrote: »

I gave my mum loads of help and most people helped clear the table between courses and at the end of the meal.
My dad asked my brother to dry the dishes - his reply 'but i'm a guest':mad: Yup, me too and i helped (neither of us live at home)

My younger brother learnt quickly - as a young teenager he'd loiter over chores and ask "where's x..?" in a futile attempt to delegate the task onwards - by applying the GiTH rule. Whenever an inappropriate comment surfaces designed to shirk work, the response is "are you a Guest in This House?".

I can't stand lazy people, if everyone pitches in the work gets sorted fast.

septemberblues

Christmas Day, I am spending it with my youngest DD, her partner and his parents (who my daughter doesn't like much)and the baby. I arrive at their house at 1pm ready for my dinner (as was told to)and discover it had been put back to 5pm instead. I can't eat wheat so munched on Maltesers and crisps (:o), inlaws go out with dogs and I mentioned to SIL1 that I couldnt smell any turkey cooking but he says its cos the house is so big...........................

Inlaws come back in and discover cooker isnt on, so they all blame each other, FIL finally makes dinner, has a few drinks and goes off in a huff into one room and goes to sleep, SIL goes upstairs for 3 hours to have a nap, so me, dd, MIL and baby left downstairs, MIL is totally p*ssed and starts making loud/crude remarks to me, but I'm not joining in (do I really want to start talking about my sex life when I was a teenager? Really?)

So all the in-law family fall out with each other, dinner is a disaster but eventually I get to sneak off home!

Next day, at my oldest DD house we go for Boxing Day lunch with DD/SIL2 and baby, other family members arrive and we have a good day with a delicious roast dinner and pudding. Everyone is happy except for SIL1 who constantly criticises youngest DD in front of everyone, every single thing she did or said he moaned about - basically they can't stand each other but are "baby trapped", he is 6' 3 and is used to being in charge arghh, I wanted to bang his head but I don't argue with him, he has banished me from his house before because I bought DD some cigarettes (before she was ill and had asked me to get some on the way to hers)so now I say nothing, I just don't look at him when he is b i t c hing because if looks could REALLY kill he would be dead :eek:

My youngest DD says she doesn't take any notice of his criticising her, but she is a delicate thing (she suffers uncontrolled anaphylactic shocks) and this stress from him doesnt help matters. She once had an argument with him, suffered an anaphylactic shock and ended up in Intensive Care, where he visited her (I was there)and carried on the argument! In intensive care!!

Ok rant over

Murtle

wow, there are some scary people out there.

To anyone wanting help from family and friends at Christmas, don't ask allocate. If you struggle to ask put jobs in a hat or something and do it as a game, then everyone gets a task to do and some people will get to spend time with others they may not have. The people who got to wash and dry the dishes always had a real giggle together etc.

I offered to help my sister, she didn't want my help. She was happy for my OH to help though, bizarre. I just stay out of it, offer and then do as I'm told!!

OH hasn't quite got the hang of presents as Christmas but I think I've just accepted that.

As for children not buying presents for their parents, reciprocate with nothing for them. Maybe suggest you thought they didn't like the commercialism of Christmas!

No wonder Christmas is so stressful for so many.

Mumto5

Pollycat wrote: »

What dreadful, thoughtless, rude family some people have!

I think I must be pretty lucky.

"Xmas crept up on her"?
Has she been in hibernation or in Outer Mongolia for the last 3 months?

:rotfl::rotfl:

Great thread. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself but this thread had made me realise I lead quite a charmed life.

My heartfelt sympathy goes to everyone who's had something to vent about. Eat chocolate - won't make things better but they taste nice.