Tis the season to be jolly, tra la la la la, la la la la. (changed title)

Person_one

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

why should the son do anything of the sort? its not his dad thats at fault here - its the op.

i know you like to blame men for everything but in this case the son asked for an xbox, and he received one from the person he asked. if the op wanted to muscle in and take some of the credit away from her ex (and by her bitterness and anger it's clear that this was really the case), then she alone is responsible.

the op thought that the cash had been handed over and without checking with anyone (not even her son!) she went out and bought an xbox. she had no idea if her son or her ex had already bought an xbox with the money. so obviously she didnt feel comfortable with the idea that her son was given the present that he wanted, a 'main present' from the ex that she hates so much.

on what basis do you think that the ex has treated the op 'callously'? how has he been 'disrespectful'? its nothing to do with the op! she stuck her oar in without checking and shes blaming him when she should be blaming herself.

Regardless of gender, the right and decent thing to do now is to pay for the Xbox, not to shrug his shoulders and say 'Oh well.'

Yes, the OP should have communicated better, but it seems the ex is now not buying his son a Christmas present and letting the OP pick up the tab for the one he promised to him!

Misunderstandings happen, nice people get over it and work out a way to set things straight, they don't just let others end up £200 out of pocket when it would be incredibly easy for them to resolve the issue.

DUTR

Person_one wrote: »

Regardless of gender, the right and decent thing to do now is to pay for the Xbox, not to shrug his shoulders and say 'Oh well.'

Yes, the OP should have communicated better, but it seems the ex is now not buying his son a Christmas present and letting the OP pick up the tab for the one he promised to him!

Misunderstandings happen, nice people get over it and work out a way to set things straight, they don't just let others end up £200 out of pocket when it would be incredibly easy for them to resolve the issue.

I'm not sure what you are saying here, I think DSM hit the nail on the head, Dad said he would get the pressie and he did, if he said he was giving money then he could, nope the loss is caused by the Op and should be absorbed by the OP, as you say nice people get over it.

Person_one

DUTR wrote: »

I'm not sure what you are saying here, I think DSM hit the nail on the head, Dad said he would get the pressie and he did, if he said he was giving money then he could, nope the loss is caused by the Op and should be absorbed by the OP, as you say nice people get over it.

Son got an Xbox, dad was previously willing to pay for said Xbox, he should just take the one he has back to the shop and give the money to the OP.

If he's got it for £160 then fair enough, the OP loses £40 as a result of poor communication, but its just mean to say 'too bad so sad.' Is he even going to get his son a present now?

C_Mababejive

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zH46SmVv8SU

Listen to the lyrics and reflect....

Children most often need and benefit from the input,care and love of both parents whether they be together or separated. Thats all you need to know and so communicate more effectively to ensure the max for the children. Keep petty squabbles out of it.

heretolearn_2

tight as a gnat's chuff

Person one - you've got lost there - the X Box the son already has was given to him by his dad for Christmas. The dad decided that instead of just giving the son the money, he would actually buy the X Box for him. So he has given the son the present he promised.

OP - it's just one of those things, lack of communication, but from your side, not dad's. To be honest you should have minded your own business. It's dad's present, let him sort it out. You interfered without being asked, and without letting dad know, so you can't blame him now you've lost out. It was a nice thought you had - but you should have checked with dad first. At the very least, checked with middle son that he'd collected the money ok, and then you would have found out.

aliasojo

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

... if the op wanted to muscle in and take some of the credit away from her ex (and by her bitterness and anger it's clear that this was really the case), then she alone is responsible.

Of all that has been said here, I'm mostly saddened by this comment.

I accept the view that I should have checked. I foolishly believed people would do as they said they would. Clearly I should not have *just* believed them and it should really have occurred to me to check. More fool me for being trusting.

However, your comment above is wrong and unfair.

My only concern was that my 28 year old learning disabled son actually had the xbox he had set his heart on, to open on Xmas morning.

Dad doesn't really bother too much about this son (don't bother picking up on that please, none of you have the first clue about the history) and I've spent years wrapping presents supposedly from Dad so this was nothing new, regardless of what some of you think.

Thank you all for your replies though, I appreciate you taking the time.

I hope you all have a lovely day. I'm having a quick tea break inbetween present opening and game playing right now. See you all tomorrow.

Emmzi

have a great day aliasojo. You deserve it!

rizla01

Just a thought Aliasojo,

if the Xbox was BROKEN and DIDN't work (Wink, Wink), and you were forced to buy a new one to settle your disabled son (As he has a condition. etc etc) you might find that the original sellers might be lenient and refund you.

Nothing to lose but a bit of 'Face' but worth it.

Good luck.

dirtysexymonkey

Person_one wrote: »

Regardless of gender, the right and decent thing to do now is to pay for the Xbox, not to shrug his shoulders and say 'Oh well.'

Yes, the OP should have communicated better, but it seems the ex is now not buying his son a Christmas present and letting the OP pick up the tab for the one he promised to him!

Misunderstandings happen, nice people get over it and work out a way to set things straight, they don't just let others end up £200 out of pocket when it would be incredibly easy for them to resolve the issue.

your just making this up as you go along now!

the ex bought the xbox and gave it to his son before the op bought her one.

youre suggesting that as well as the xbox that he was asked for, and has paid for and given to his son, the ex should also be paying for the op!

for gods sake woman! your so blinded by your hatred of men that you cant see the wood for the trees!

DUTR

aliasojo wrote: »

Of all that has been said here, I'm mostly saddened by this comment.

I accept the view that I should have checked. I foolishly believed people would do as they said they would. Clearly I should not have *just* believed them and it should really have occurred to me to check. More fool me for being trusting.

However, your comment above is wrong and unfair.

My only concern was that my 28 year old learning disabled son actually had the xbox he had set his heart on, to open on Xmas morning.

Dad doesn't really bother too much about this son (don't bother picking up on that please, none of you have the first clue about the history) and I've spent years wrapping presents supposedly from Dad so this was nothing new, regardless of what some of you think.

Thank you all for your replies though, I appreciate you taking the time.

I hope you all have a lovely day. I'm having a quick tea break inbetween present opening and game playing right now. See you all tomorrow.

You need not be saddened by the comment, just keep it for consideration for future episodes.
As others have mentioned from both sides, let the other party rise or fail from their actions.
What was the 'norm' in the past may not be so for present and future.