naughty children

**Patty**

Hmm.....not according to staffordshire's top consultant paediatrician it doesn't.

I have children from a previous relationship as well as 1 with my current husband.
It's the son from my previous marriage that has Autism.

We asked both the consultant at the hospital and my son's paediatrician about any possible risks of our baby also being diagnosed with autism and both consultants told us we had no more risk than any other couple.
There's nothing on any side of any of the families involved to indicate any history of autism so ours really was a bolt from the blue.

It's quite weird......out of all my 3, the pregnancy of the one with autism was the most textbook

winterwhite11

DorsetGirl wrote: »

Anyone that starts a sentence like this is always about to do just that!

lol..i,m really not trying to be nasty.
the one mother has 3 children , one of the kids has now grown to age 16 and seems a good kid whos about to join the army soon.
but when he and the other 2 were little they was awfull,all of them..
does add run in the family or was they all just bought up badly.
i always felt sad for the kids as they was always whinging etc and can,t have had a very happy childhood.

Ziggazee

ADHD/ODD is so often used as an excuse for poorly behaved children and lack of parenting. Sorry, but it's true. And trust me, there are loads of parents out there claiming DLA for these "illnesses". Flame me for these comments if you wish, but I stand by my opinion :-)

blessings3

Do you know how hard it is to get a diagnosis of ADHD ? if you really had any conception you would understand that the ''crap' parents you think hide behind this diagnosis would just not last the course ! Yes crap parenting can cause bad behaviour but it does not cause ADHD - ADHD makes even the best parent look crap to be honest - you can tell a child with ADHD 100 times not to do something and the lack of impulse control will just sweep that away. They in general do not respond to ''normal' parenting - not because they are naughty but because they just have less control and very often have hyperactivity and or inattentive tendencies very often linked to sensory issues and auditory processing problems. It is a developmental neurological condition linked to the way the brain develops. I sometimes wish as a parent that it had some physical markers such as Downs - but then again peoples ignorance only shows when they open their mouths.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

You're all being Trolled.

This comes up every couple of months.

outofmoney

Whilst Jojo is most likely correct, When my son was diagnosed with Autism, a member of my family (who was very anti social benefit at the time, but since her young unmarried school-age daughter became a mum seems to have changed her mind!) claimed he couldn't have it because he did not scream continuously and did as he was told.

It seems many parents use their childs' diagnosis as an excuse for behaviour, also some parents do not discipline thir kids enough and this is an excuse for diagnosis.

I do know a mum who has two boys, both diagnosed ADHD. I have known them since babies. Neither have ever been disciplined. The boys run riot and do just what they please but this is all down to their ADHD! Funny how they behave much better in school when the teachers put a few rules in place.

tomjonesrules

blessings3 wrote: »

Do you know how hard it is to get a diagnosis of ADHD ?

I would say that it varies - I have seen some quite legitimate cases that have struggled even to get a referral, and others that fall into the category outofmoney describes:

outofmoney wrote: »

I do know a mum who has two boys, both diagnosed ADHD. I have known them since babies. Neither have ever been disciplined. The boys run riot and do just what they please but this is all down to their ADHD! Funny how they behave much better in school when the teachers put a few rules in place.

blessings3

And of course you have lived with this mother and her sons since birth ? you have seen her every attempt at discipline since they were babies fail, you have seen her family tell her just to smack them, teachers complain to her every afternoon when she picks them up from school, other parents shun her and you have probably been one of the ones who have tutted and rolled thier eyes? Yes there are probably a very small percentage that are wrongly diagnosed but anyone who is in the profession as your post implies would know that for a diagnosis to be made it has to show in at least two settings ie for children home and school and that school will have had to fill out an extensive questionaire so whilst they may respond to the structure of school they are obvioulsly still showing enough symptoms for there to be a diagnosis!

There are however quite a number of parents who use Adhd as an excuse but there is no formal diagnosis in place - that is a horse of a different colour!!!!

tomjonesrules

blessings3 wrote: »

And of course you have lived with this mother and her sons since birth ? you have seen her every attempt at discipline since they were babies fail, you have seen her family tell her just to smack them, teachers complain to her every afternoon when she picks them up from school, other parents shun her and you have probably been one of the ones who have tutted and rolled thier eyes? Yes there are probably a very small percentage that are wrongly diagnosed but anyone who is in the profession as your post implies would know that for a diagnosis to be made it has to show in at least two settings ie for children home and school and that school will have had to fill out an extensive questionaire so whilst they may respond to the structure of school they are obvioulsly still showing enough symptoms for there to be a diagnosis!

There are however quite a number of parents who use Adhd as an excuse but there is no formal diagnosis in place - that is a horse of a different colour!!!!

That's the thing, CAMHS are known to cut corners because they are so overstretched. A stringent assessment process only works when there are sufficient staff to make it happen.

All I have seen from the mother I describe is laughter when the child misbehaves, and it has been this way since he was born. If the school try to give her constructive feedback she blames them, and takes him to McDonalds for a treat. Her latest form of "bonding" with him is to teach him swear words, which he is able to take in and apply in context with no problem at all. Yes, I do roll my eyes at her, she is a disgraceful parent.

fallen_angel_69

I ave 2 daughters one with Autisim and Adhd and the other one with Autisim and Hypermobilityand Pica The one with Autism and Adhd doesn't get Dla but the other one does The reason i pushed for a diagnosis was so they could get extra help in school which they were really strugglying with Now the extra help is given I have been to every parenting class and every meeting that has ever been offered to me so behaviour isn't always down to bad parenting alone it's down to a lot of other factors as well

I would swop you any day my child's Dla for her not having her problems and you having them instead You can then deal with struggling at school being bullied because your not ''normal'' and conform to other peoples standards of fitting in You can have the panic attacks of going out where there are large numbers of people ie not being able to sit in the school canteen due to people being in there You can be the one who can't stop impulses to do certain things you can be the one who has to take 50 mins showers twice a day you can be the one who thinks eating pens and anything else made of plastic

Or maybe you'd rather be me the parent Who goes to every parenting class that is offered to me The endless camhs and phsio appointments Maybe your boss will be happy with you having several phone calls a week at work like mine has gotten used to I'm really lucky i have a understanding boss and work in the medical proffesion so he has knowledge and has learnt a lot more since employing me Maybe your boss will understand when you burst into tears at the latest problem that has occured maybe he will understand why you have to run out of work to help find your daughter who has escaped from class and locked herself in toilets as she can't stand the noise the other children make or maybe a trip to a&e to have yet another x-ray to see wht she has eaten this time Or maybe try a food shop at asda after work that's fun all them people all that noise and glares from other passer's by and tut tutting from other people Maybe the lack of a social life will put you in a depression as you can't get a baysitter and if you go out you get stared at and dirty looks from judgemental people Trust me there are a awaful lot of people who judge your a bad parent just by looking at you for 2 mins

Let me know what your choice is carry on your life in your nice ivory tower being judge jury and excuetioner of me being a bad parent Or would you rather spend your life in mine and my daughter's shoes and get Dla for a couple of years I know what my choice would be Quite a simple choice really my daughter having no problems and me getting no Dla

Think about that before you judge me and unfortuneatley thousands of other parents like me I know many other parents who like me would give up everything and i mean everything to have a so called normal child