naughty children

GlasweJen

There's 2 kids who visit someone on another ward on the same floor as me. They are naughty, out of control and undisciplined.

Despite the huge sign saying "High Dependancy Unit" on the ward door these kids dash about the corridor outside, into the unit, knock things over, scream and shout, touch things they shouldn't and parents just stand at the door and shout (and yes I mean shout, I can hear her without my hearing aids in) "aiden gonnae no dae that, jade yer no meant tar be in their" etc. yesterday a visitor in my ward challenged the mum, asked why her kids were allowed to run riot every night. Apparently we all don't know what it's like being ill, brat 1 and brat 2 are waiting to be diagnosed with ADHD! Swift boot up the aris I think, no child should be allowed to run riot round HDU, we're not allowed child visitors and yet we need to put up with that? I don't care what they have or may have, they should be removed and punished, never brought back near the hospital until they can act appropriately.

*kids names changed

outofmoney

This is precisely why some find it hard to accept diagnosis. These children may well have ADHD, but it does not mean they cannot be disciplined in any way. They may find it harder to control their feelings and have trouble concentrating and staying in the same place for some time but a child does not run about amock due to ADHD, it is because of lack of control by the parents.

Some parents just cannot see that their childs behaviour is simply down to lack of discipline. Others see the diagnosis as an excuse for letting them run riot. Somewhere along the line the two get muddled.

headcone

GlasweJen wrote: »

There's 2 kids who visit someone on another ward on the same floor as me. They are naughty, out of control and undisciplined.

Despite the huge sign saying "High Dependancy Unit" on the ward door these kids dash about the corridor outside, into the unit, knock things over, scream and shout, touch things they shouldn't and parents just stand at the door and shout (and yes I mean shout, I can hear her without my hearing aids in) "aiden gonnae no dae that, jade yer no meant tar be in their" etc. yesterday a visitor in my ward challenged the mum, asked why her kids were allowed to run riot every night. Apparently we all don't know what it's like being ill, brat 1 and brat 2 are waiting to be diagnosed with ADHD! Swift boot up the aris I think, no child should be allowed to run riot round HDU, we're not allowed child visitors and yet we need to put up with that? I don't care what they have or may have, they should be removed and punished, never brought back near the hospital until they can act appropriately.

*kids names changed

I take it you are in the Royal Jubilee?
I`m a frequent visitor there myself and am interested as to who your consultants are,we probably have a lot in common.

Great to hear you are recovering well.

WhiteHorse

ADHD is real.

What is not real is the huge number of children supposedly suffering from it. It is used as a getout by useless teachers, bad parents and greasy politicians to cover up the mess they have made of things.

GlasweJen

headcone wrote: »

I take it you are in the Royal Jubilee?
I`m a frequent visitor there myself and am interested as to who your consultants are,we probably have a lot in common.

Great to hear you are recovering well.

Yep, I spent a brief week in GRI after I collapsed and my regular cardiologist insisted on seeing me (he deals with my fainting) but I'm back here since I needed work on a few leaks.

At RJ I'm under Mr Sutherland, prof Cobbe is my regular cardiologist at GRI but I also see Rankin and Connelly there just because im such an unusual case. All at the same clinic lol! It was Connelly who fitted my pacemaker.

Prinzessilein

WhiteHorse wrote: »

ADHD is real.

What is not real is the huge number of children supposedly suffering from it. It is used as a getout by useless teachers, bad parents and greasy politicians to cover up the mess they have made of things.

ADHD is certainly real.

Whilst I have certainly met parents desperate for a diagnosis of ASD/ADHD/AHD (sometimes because the parents were truly worried about theor childrenn and wanted the best help...sadly also there were those who wanted someone to 'blame' for theor angel's bad behaviour...and worse still were those, thankfully few, parents who saw disability as a gateway to more benefits)....I have met few/no teachers who use a Learning Difference to excuse poor teaching (much more common is that teachers try everything to help pupils but lack of funding means no additional support, and Senior Management teams happily push blame on staff rather than admit lack of support or finaces!)

In my years of working with Children/Young Adults, much of which was spent screening for/diagnosing/supporting Learning Differences, and through having ASD myself, I have an understanding of how difficult life can be for all those affected - including families.

However, I always used to point out that even with parental support, and appropriate medication, there are times when even ADHD kids can simply be little badly-behaved bratlets! When all is said and done they are children with good and bad days.

zaksmum

unhappyphone wrote: »

Yes, and we used to live in caves, women used to be tied to the kitchen, we beat our children into silence and people died of curable illnesses.

Clearly that's what we should go back to, !!!!!!!! to actually understanding our children or moving on as a society.

I don't know about going back to living in caves (!!) but can you honestly say children were not much better behaved when the authorities were far less mollycoddling than they are today?

SingleSue

I find this whole thread quite depressing to be honest.

I did make a very long and detailed post yesterday in reply to Brassed off but then decided 'why bother'.

Suffice to say, I did the parenting courses (ones for 'normal' children and one for ASD children), understanding why they behave as they do has helped but there are still certain behaviours which are so ground in, that no amount of working on them will stop them.

So I work with them rather than against them, turned youngest obsessional behaviour about anything Apple product related into an educational thing, getting him to write reviews on tablet pc's, comparing them to the Ipad..in the process and subtly, working on his spelling and punctuation (have to get it right to have a good review).

For middle son and his always wanting to make noise...got him a drumkit and taught him to make noise in a structured way and at structured times, he also just happens to be a talented musician, something we found out after giving him the drumkit.

I am known to be a strict parent but also a fun one (but only if they have followed my rules) but unlike some other parents, I do not parent through fear or reactively, I use rules proactively and build fun into it, that way, the child knows exactly what is expected of them and where the boundaries are but more importantly, I teach them coping mechanisms for when they are not coping too well (this of course, will not work with every child - they are all different after all)

I also never give in (as in modifying behaviour, sometimes it can take years for progress) and when I say no, it does actually mean no.

I can now take the boys to the cinema, to a restaurant, to the supermarket, yes they will still get stressed but they now know the coping mechanisms and will automatically start using them...for example, Christmas day, youngest does not cope well with Christmas, when it all got too much for him, he took himself away from everyone to an upstairs room, years ago, he would have screamed the place down and destroyed something.

Mind you, I couldn't do anything about the completely stressed out youngest who couldn't get to sleep that same night.....we're still working on that one. Or the getting him to change into PE clothes at school, we're still working on that one, 1 success since the age of 4 with changing, then the teacher changed for one lesson just after we had that one success and no luck since! That was 5 years ago........

Brassedoff

WhiteHorse wrote: »

ADHD is real.

What is not real is the huge number of children supposedly suffering from it. It is used as a getout by useless teachers, bad parents and greasy politicians to cover up the mess they have made of things.

Make sure you have a tin hat on before making those sort of comments as you can guarantee someone will attack you with an example case that is far worse than just someone who is a poor parent!

And they will also need a blue badge due to the six year old having no road sense (but there again, what six year old does?)

Brassedoff

Prinzessilein wrote: »

ADHD is certainly real.

Whilst I have certainly met parents desperate for a diagnosis of ASD/ADHD/AHD (sometimes because the parents were truly worried about theor childrenn and wanted the best help...sadly also there were those who wanted someone to 'blame' for theor angel's bad behaviour...and worse still were those, thankfully few, parents who saw disability as a gateway to more benefits)....I have met few/no teachers who use a Learning Difference to excuse poor teaching (much more common is that teachers try everything to help pupils but lack of funding means no additional support, and Senior Management teams happily push blame on staff rather than admit lack of support or finaces!)

In my years of working with Children/Young Adults, much of which was spent screening for/diagnosing/supporting Learning Differences, and through having ASD myself, I have an understanding of how difficult life can be for all those affected - including families.

However, I always used to point out that even with parental support, and appropriate medication, there are times when even ADHD kids can simply be little badly-behaved bratlets! When all is said and done they are children with good and bad days.

This is a great post from someone who actually sees a wide range of those kids and not living in the bubble of their own ADHD problem child. Easily, you will no doubt be attacked by someone who wants to be on a PC crusade or from someone who will chirp in with a case way beyond what's being debated.

It's easier to have a go to stifle debate than allow debate itself.