Frump to Fab - Summer Solstice Sizzler

WelshWoofer

Happy birthday Lizzie!
Good luck EvilSquid!
Good bargain on the flowers LL! I'm sure they were appreciated. And condolences on your friend's illness - bad things always seem to happen to good people:(

LW - you can borrow my pooch for a bit if you like - he seems to be going through a second puppyhood and has a new lease of life - he's exhausting!


The GCSE coursework is submitted, the paperwork sent off and I can breathe again - hurrah! The trials and tribulations of a teacher;)
Have had a glass of wine already to celebrate - its downhill to the summer holidays for me now - phew!

A little bit of good news - my next door neighbour (who I'm not overly fond of) just popped round to get me to sign a passport form and have a nose at the redecoration (which does look nice) and I mentioned that the new sofas were coming in a week or so and she asked of she could buy the old ones off me. I was going to donate them to a charity or get a house clearance man to come and remove them but she offered £100 for one and said she'd like the other one too and to think about how much I'd like for the two:j:j A bit of very welcome and unexpected dosh! As they'll only go next door there's no hassle with getting them delivered/picked up and they can go literally just before the news ones arrive. the first bit of good luck I've had in ages.:)

Callisto

Happy Birthday Lizzie, and my very best wishes for the appeal.

Evilsquid, good luck with the interview.

Haven't been posting much lately as I don't really have anything to report. Not sure if I made the right decision going onto anti-depressants as I just feel numb and empty, but not even sure if feeling like this is down to the medication. I am seeing my counsellor on Monday for the last session and will need to see the doctor again within the next fortnight.

Positive things for the last few days:

Bought an exercise mat and pillows from Argos as I had a gift card and some nectar points to use, so it only cost me £7 altogether. The new pillow is like sleeping on a cloud!

Had my OU assignment back, passed and got some lovely feedback from my tutor. I've started reading the final book, so only one more assignment to write (and hopefully pass) for this course. Then a break until the next course begins in October, although I haven't yet decided which one to do next.

WelshWoofer

Right ladies, brace yourselves for a big confession......

I am (and have been) a secret smoker for years.:eek:
I've drifted between 2 or 3 to up to 10 a day and back down again and now I'm averaging about 7 a day. My exOH didn't know (unbelievable I know), my parents don't know and only some of my friends know because I am ashamed and embarrassed about it.:o I've never smoked in the house, just in the garden or when walking the dog or sometimes in the car (with the windows open).

I've had countless excuses not to give up - stressful job, divorce, habit, hassle with other things - but never managed more than a couple of days at best without a manky old fag.

Now things have improved dramatically in every other aspect of my life I have run out of excuses and now WANT to give up.

My main reasons being....

• Fed up of sneaking about (I'm 40 for god's sake!)
• My chest is starting to feel a bit tight sometimes after smoking ( no cough or anything like that but I know its not doing my lungs any good)
• I'm a scientist and know exactly what they're doing to me
• The money I'm spending is ridiculous and could be much better spent
• I didn't see myself as a smoker and have kidded myself for years that I'm a casual smoker but now know I'm not - I DO smoke and shouldn't
• None of my friends smoke anymore
• Its not a very FAB thing to be doing and will ultimately undo any beauty efforts that I'm making - luckily I don't have smokers lines, teeth or fingers but that will happen if I carry on

So, now I've admitted it I can plan to stop (with your support hopefully).
I have about 7 cigarettes left in the packet and according to all advice you should chose a quit date and stick to it. So my last cigarette will be tomorrow. As of Saturday I will be a quitter.

This has been strangely cringeworthy and embarrassing to admit (even online) and I feel like a naughty teenager. Please don't think any less of me - I need all the help I can get!

Anyone with any advice? All suggestions will be gratefully received.
Thank you for "listening" to my guilty secret.:)

lessonlearned

WelshWoofer wrote: »

Right ladies, brace yourselves for a big confession......

I am (and have been) a secret smoker for years.:eek:

This has been strangely cringeworthy and embarrassing to admit (even online) and I feel like a naughty teenager. Please don't think any less of me - I need all the help I can get!

Anyone with any advice? All suggestions will be gratefully received.
Thank you for "listening" to my guilty secret.:)

WW - Well done for "coming out of the closet" on this one. Of course we don't think any the worse of you. At least I don't.

I first started smoking at the tender age of 13 :eek: Like most teenagers I thought it was glamourous and that it made me look grown up and sophisticated. I started with Players No 6's - my lunch money was spent on a pack of 10 ciggies and a bag of chips.

When I started work I thought Peter Stuyvesant Kingsize (sp??) were the height of sophistication and after a couple of holidays "abroad" I decided Gitanes were the fag of choice for me.

Talk about gullible....What a waste of money. My OH was even more gullible - as a teenager he smoked "Black Russians".

What made me stop??? When I was 25 I had the worst Christmas of my life - bronchitis. I was really ill. On Christmas day my Dad was so worried he begged me to let him call for the doctor.

I said no it was Christmas Day and I just couldn't face the doctor giving me an ear bashing for getting into such a state through smoking. I genuinely thought I was dying.....I thought never never again will I put myself through this. I just went cold turkey and I haven't touched another since. It wasn't difficult because I was so terrified of having another dose of bronchitis I was never tempted to start again.

My OH gave up when his office went "No Smoking". He chose our 10th Wedding Anniversary as a red letter day to mark the occasion. He used nicotine patches and found them very helpful.

He too had smoked since he was about 11 and had tried several times to give up. I wanted to help him and be supportive - he too used to get very bad coughs. We were really hard up at the time and had very little money for treats for ourselves so I said that if he managed to give up smoking he could use the money he saved to buy himself a Derby County season ticket. He set it up on a direct debit so there was no turning back.

Another couple we knew did something similar - they put the money saved to one side and it paid for some really nice foreign holidays.

These days GP are very pro-active and most run "Giving Up Smoking Programmes". If you think you may struggle going it alone I think it would be worth seeking them out.

I would also suggest the savings account option too. It really helps you stay motivated when you see how much you are saving and all the nice things you can have instead with the money you would normally waste on ciggies. Don't let the money just get subsumed into your general outgoings.

Well done on selling your sofas too. Recycling at its best.:D

Callisto - I think Anti-D's take a while to kick in. If they are not suiting you perhaps your GP could change your prescription.

Anyway well done with your OU work.......and getting the exercise gear. Regular exercise can help lift your mood too - it gets the old endorphins going;)

LW - I think it's such a shame that society in general conspires to make STAH mums and STAH wives feel guilty because they are not seen as being "economically active" or contributing to the family coffers.

Once when I was feeling rather guilty because we were hard up and I wasn't doing any paid work my OH spelt it out for me.

He said that if he didn't have me taking care of things and just running the show then he would never have been able to concentrate on his career the way he had and that he would never have been as successful. It was because I stayed at home and ran the show he was free to focus on his work without feeling torn and guilty.

I told you he has written his memoirs - they also serve as a sort of Father's Advice Guide to our boys. He knows he won't always be there for them - so there is quite a section on being a husband and father. In his book he talks about his career and how difficult it can be for a man to maintain a good work/life balance - especially when there are children.

He always said that he was so grateful he could come to a cooked meal, clean shirts etc and just chill out, play with his children and enjoy his home and family and not feel guilty because he didn't help out much with the domestic stuff. He was glad that, unlike many of this colleagues, he didn't have to spend weekends trailing round the supermarket or doing diy and gardening. Having said that he did help a lot - but it wasn't a necessity the way it would have been if I had worked all the time too.

You mustn't feel guilty about not bringing money into the home (although you already have done so by helping clear the mortgage - that must be a huge help to Mr LW). You contribute to the running of the home, cooking meals etc, providing a clean and welcoming environment for Mr LW to come home to. Not everything can be measured in financial terms. At least - that's how I see it.

Phew - only meant this to be a short post....

Don't forget Fab Friday - no slacking now.

PS Did anyone see Nancy Del'Ollio (whatever her name is) in the Daily Mail today. She says that British women don't know how to dress.....

Hmmm - At least we don't dress like Pantomime Dames or Bangkok Lady Boys. :rotfl:

Bitsy_Beans

LL I wish I could thank your post more than once I have long felt that spouses who stay at home are not valued for the work they do. My mother faced the same thing and sadly it seems it still continues. I had a conversation with a friend on FB about mothers being at home and one of her friends made it sound like we had both checked our IQ in at the door when we became SAHM its about time people appreciated the worth SAH spouses can bring, just because it can't be physcially counted in cash in your hand doesn't mean it has no value. OK rant over :rotfl::rotfl::o

WW well done at taking the first step and knowing you want to quit. I don't have any advice but a couple of friends have used the NHS services very successfully. My H said when he quit the hardest thing for him was breaking associations with times he would have a fag. I see these young kids in secondary school having a crafty fag and I wish I could get them to see how in 20 years time they are going to regret ever starting. All the best with giving up, you'll get there :T by the way I certainly don't think any worse of you......you're a smoker not a serial killer

Savvy_sewing

Today is babysitting day, so crawling on floors etc. No dressing up for that one.
I had a good soak in the bath reading a magazine and eating toast! yesterday afternoon. I had had a rough start to the day, but improved as the tablets kicked in and the day wore on. Managed to make about 30metres if not more, of bunting ready for the street party. I will probably use it on the marquee that we are borrowing for the baby's first birthday party the day after my holiday finishes.
I should be packing for the holiday, and I havent even thought properly about it. We go on Monday. Well I may be going on Sunday to the BF's and then on from there.
Means I have once again left everything very last minute. Story of my life.
See the doctor this afternoon, and will be keeping to the lower dose of the Diclofenic. As I seem to still be functioning. Although I do still feel some pain, its bareable.

My ESA stopped as they said that I had too much money coming in. Although I now dont! Becuase the ESA stopped, the Council have suspended my housing benefit etc. So things are in a bit of a pickle. I have to prove my income and take 2 months worth of statements to the council. Thats going to be fun. I have money spread about in 7 different accounts!!! Mostly as the carers money goes in and out of one account. Then savings for DGD are in another, then my old account I was going to close is now getting DS's JSA into as he didnt have a bank account. So its going to take a lot of explaining. I have until the end of the month to prove it. But meanwhile it means that I have to pay full rent, or get into rent arrears!. Where I am supposed to find that is a minor miracle after all the other things stopping. Life changes really do muck up the funds.

On the fabbing note, perhaps tonight i will dig out the things I need to take with me, to be able to pamper myself while away. I tend to have more time on holiday for skin care,and nails etc etc and as we are only in a caravan in the UK I can take with me what potions and lotions I like.

bratz81

lizzie - happy birthday!
evilsquid - good look for the interview

I haven't been on much as I don't feel I've anything to report. I'm not particularly fab right now so am letting the side down massively. I'm in a bit of a rut as I've hardly any nice clothes but no money to buy any. Still once the wedding is over (less than 4 weeks now!) we'll have money again and I can treat myself a little.

Bitsy_Beans

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2142080/Kate-Middleton-Nancy-DellOlio-thinks-style.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

This is the article LL refers to. Given the picture of Nancy looking like a lady of the night I am not sure she can really remark on style, surely she should know you either show your legs OR your bangers and NOT both however joking aside I think she makes a good point about us British girls and not making an effort sometimes. After all that's exactly what this thread is about. Speaking as an English girl born and bread it's hard to feel glamourous when it's tipping it down with rain, wearing heels to do the school run whilst dodging a flooded pavement is not something I cherish. Am I wrong to feel that our climate can impact on what I feel like wearing? If we had the sultry temperatures of Italy then I am sure I'd be more inclined to get out of my jeans and wear floaty dresses but when it's barely reaching double figures it feels that sort of attire is just wrong for the weather. I don't want to freeze my @ss off for the sake of looking nice for other people to gawp at

Sorry this turned into a bit of an essay on the one hand I want to slap Nancy for dismissing us British ladies and not really appreciating what life is like for the average woman but then again this thread IS about making more of ourselves and avoiding that bag lady chic. Ah to feel so conflicted :rotfl:

lessonlearned

Good Morning All

Thanks for posting up that link - I really must learn how to do it.

I agree that many (although not all) of our European cousins (in my case real cousins and nieces) are considerably more stylish than we Brits - I was just being a bit facetious really. We Brits can be a tad complacent about our appearance, at times. However I still maintain that Nancy can overdo the "glamour" and look a bit OTT at times. A little less flesh on show would be more classy.

I often think it's our (lack of) grooming that lets us down, which of course is what this thread is about - grooming, pride and TLC.

You can get away with the just tumbled out of bed look in your teens but not by the time you get to your 30's and 40's. Even our beloved Kate Moss can look more raddled than tousled at times now that she is getting a bit older. Compare with Twiggy - similar BoHo style but Twiggy is always beautifully groomed and well turned out.

Just edited - had another look at the pictures in the article. I have to confess that Sam Cam does look a bit boring especially on the American Tour when she was pictured with Michelle Obama. Michelle does "relaxed glamour" very well.

I feel sorry for Sam Cam because she seems to be constantly criticised for her clothes. I've noticed that when she does push the boat out and "goes designer" she gets a mauling by the press for spending too much - they seem to forget that she doesn't get an allowance and pays for all her own clothes - so a bit unfair I think. Is there a special dress code for Conservative Politicians's wives - I bet there is.

As for Pippa - I think that dress is hideous - looks like curtain fabric. Still we all make mistakes.

Bitsy I think you have something there about the weather having a role to play.

On a sunny day when the frocks come out and the strappy sandals get an airing it's a world of difference to the the sweaters, jeans, big jackets and boots we hide under. Like my funny old GP friend always says - a bit of warm sunshine and all the dowdy tired old frumps miraculously turn into flocks of pretty butterflies.

There's a cold wind again - it's May - come on Weather Gods - get a grip.

Bratz - Try not to get too downhearted. You don't need to spend a fortune on new clothes to look and feel fab. Can you work with what you have, dressing things up with a cheap scarf or a few bits of costume jewellery. Chazza shops are good places to look for a few cheap bits. Beads, belts, scarves etc can be bought for pennies.

Just make sure your clothes are nicely laundered and pressed, shoes polished, that your hair is washed and styled, nails done etc, wear make up and a bit of perfume if you have some. It will all help give you a boost.

You'll soon be a beautiful blushing bride.:D

Bitsy_Beans

Posting links isn't that hard, just open the page of the link you want to post, highlight the web address shown in the browser, right click, select copy and then you can come to MSE and righ click and paste into the reply box and voila
Now adding hyperlinks aka links that are embedded in a word take a few extra steps but it's really easy. Copy page address as before. In reply box on MSE type word you want link to be embedded in, highlight it and above the reply box there are some icons and font sizes. Select the icon that looms like a pair of binoculars, in the little box that appears right click and paste the web address you copied and click OK and voila a hyperlink is created.

Can you tell I am procrastinating about housework :o:rotfl:

I think one of the reasons why I don't glam up unless I am going out is funding. My charity shops aren't a hive of great clothing and as much as I would love an extensive wardrobe I can neither afford the funds to buy it or the space to house it. I suppose when the likes of Nancy criticise I get annoyed as she just has no comprehension about an ordinary woman's life. As for the suggestion of getting up half an hour early in order to preen......thanks but considering I already get up at 6am every day I think I'll pass.